I am not sure it's for you, but.....

Growing up, I wanted to be many things - some, the usual - a doctor, a scientist and some, the unusual - a space researcher (?), a psychologist and veering towards the non-left brain side, a sales leader.

Why sales? As a teenager, I wanted to hustle - something that is frowned down upon by Indian parents (why don't you do another revision instead). I was fascinated by how things sell and why we buy the things we do. I ended up doing my post graduation majoring in brand management - learning more about why we buy. I still believe those who are real sales professionals with actual field experience are smarter than all the bookish knowledge I could garner.

I picked up this book called 'Exactly what to say - the Magic words to Influence and Impact', authored by a seasoned and successful sales professional because who else can teach you how to influence people if not the folks whose livelihood depended on it.

All other factors being equal, the art of communication, I believe, has a strong sway in one's future. The worst time to think about the thing you are going to say is in the moment you are saying it. As the author reiterates, some people seem to achieve dramatically different results than the others with what seems to be the exact same ingredients.

Though any title with Magic in it sounds cliched, there are still some nuggets here that we can learn from. Though the immediate context is for business success, every principle discussed could easily be transferred into any other industry.

Lets look at one of these - 'I am not sure this is for you, but...'

• One of the most common reasons people fail to introduce their idea to others, is the fear of rejection they might receive - and exactly why this opening could help
• Opening the statement with the words, "I am not sure its for you", causes the listener's sub-concious to hear, 'There is no pressure here"
• By suggesting that they may not be interested, you naturally increase intrigue and curiousity
• The final and most important part of the phrase -'but'. We tend to be more influenced by the negative [Loss Aversion - In cognitive psychology and decision theory, loss aversion refers to people's tendency to prefer avoiding losses to acquiring equivalent gains]. Recall any time you have recieved feedback - you might not recall the positives but will always remember the part that came after 'but'. The use of but in the phrase ends up with a little voice in your head that goes, 'You might want to look at this".

An example- " I am not sure if this is for you, but we have a tech meet-up happening on Saturday and you are welcome"

I will not get into 22 other such phrases that the author delves into. But suffice to say, communication is more about the unsaid that the spoken.

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?"