I am Not a Statistic…Tonight

So tonight I found myself alone in a bar.? And while it was a very, very cool place to be (Omni, Seaport, yeah, cool like me), this isn’t something I do regularly (believe it or not).?

Why not?? Well, all the reasons.? Even though “I don’t need a chaperone” and all that, sometimes, as a woman, you check yourself and say…”hmm, how did this happen? How did I find myself here? Alone?”

This wasn’t what I planned.? I planned to meet someone for workish reasons, earlier, like happy hour (a.k.a. safer hours for women to be in hotel bars), but that got pushed, and then cancelled due to weather.

To be fair, weather is a very good reason to cancel things in Boston, and last night, it was legit.? So no worries, he’s off the hook, until Friday (then he better show up…or else.? I think he knows that now). All good.

So there I was (feeling a little rejected, but not really), on my second Blue Moon, and decided to order some food. ? This beautiful meze platter, and being hungry, I dove in.? Like really mowed at it.? Like no one was watching.

So again, after two Blue Moons…? I really had to pee.? Now, this is distressing because I had my purse, my ipad, 1/2 beer and a beautiful meze platter that I had barely made a dent in.

So looking around,I spot 3 seats away, a very safe-appearing man and woman, and they don’t look too scary (her: cashmere sweater, him: sport coat, because that’s how we roll on a Wednesday evening in the Seaport, especially at the Omni. Or anywhere in the Seaport, actually).? So I get their attention and say, “Hey would you mind looking after my stuff for a minute?”

She says “Sure…does this mean we can steal all your stuff?”.

I liked her immediately.? No doubt she is here for the Massachusetts Conference for Women, like me (and Oprah, and Caitlin Clark, etc.? Yeah, that’s right! Tomorrow is going to be a blast!)

So…I leave my stuff and do all the necessary things in the bathroom and return to this…

Check out this pic.? See the napkin?? On my Blue Moon? Covering my Blue Moon?

Yup, so this bartender, who had 40-50 other people at his bar…did this thing…for me.

And, I’m calling him out right here, for his kindness.? For looking out for women, alone, in a bar, who go to the bathroom, and leave their stuff.? Which looks like an invitation to bad actors, and you know the type.

Dennis Saint Aubin , at the Omni Boston Hotel at the Seaport “The Sporting Club.”

You….you are an amazing human being.? Thank you for your kindness. ? I’m sure you have more stories than mother goose, and it couldn’t be more rewarding to include you in mine.

So, you all know the significance of this napkin, right??

That napkin was there, placed by Dennis, to prevent me from being another statistic, another woman, drugged in a bar, because I dared to sit in a bar by myself, and go to the bathroom, and not take my beer with me, to the bathroom.?

And, something to know about statistics on this, well, they don’t even tell the whole story.? Because many women, who are drugged in bars, don’t remember what happened (because that’s how the drugs work), don’t share it because they feel culpable (like, “what were you doing, sitting in a bar by yourself.? Shame, shame, shame, shame on you”).?

And, worse yet, don’t feel that they will be believed.? Because history shows that often they are not.

So tonight, I’m staying in this bar.? Writing this story, sharing it with you.? Because people like Dennis are looking out for me.?

Might even stay here until it closes.