I am responsible for everything in my life

You will probably not like the answer I am going to give, or you maybe you won’t understand it. However, reading your question - every line of it - strikes me that people aren’t so much blaming you, but you yourself have taken on this blame. You say why do I take responsibility for everything? If someone or other is blaming you, then I can see how unfair this is, but if you are willingly taking on the responsibility for everything then that is quite a different matter.

People who take on responsibilities are important. CEOs of companies, air line pilots, news casters, even Presidents should feel responsible because they have taken a job which puts them in a responsible position. But when an ordinary person thinks that are responsible for everything that takes place around them, it means that they are putting themselves in a position of importance, and power, when none is expected of them. It is, somewhat, a testament to most people’s lives. We all think we are important and powerful in some way. In fact, it even has a name in spiritual terms: Self importance

The key here is to be able to see that you are no more important than the next person. It is up to you to delegate this responsible feeling to others. Why do you think its your job to change everyone and everything? Why are you responsible for bad acting characters and you are to blame? One of the main contributors to feelings of guilt is parents who blame the children when a household goes awry. A home that is out of control because of parental neglect, substance abuse, religious repression, anger or abuse will see children take responsibility for the chaos. Some parents will even attribute the cause of the problems to the children by blaming them to their face.

The parent may consciously pass responsibility for adult problems onto children who are unprepared for the responsibility but must assume it anyway..The parent may guilt trip a child, treat the child like an adult, or keep the child home from school in order to take on adult tasks. A worrying single mother can pass on her troubles to children who may not respond but are taking it all in that there is no money and no help is on the way. Some children wish to leave everything behind and when they are capable of striking out on their own may leave home before they are ready. Ultimately,They become super responsible caretakers who take on the guilt for everyone.

From the time I had human comprehension of life and people around me, I was aware that when anything bad happened, my mentally ill mother would blame me. Even though I had a father, two siblings and there were always other people around, everything in life that happened which my mother found distasteful, she blamed solely on me. It wasn’t implied blame either. She verbalized it constantly to me and anyone else who would listen from my father to my siblings along with the entire extended family.

As my life unfolded, when things would happen, I would head for the nearest exit since I knew the next event would be me getting punished because a cricket had squeezed into the house through a window screen. Or because it rained, leaving mud washed up on the sidewalks. I even got blamed for ice and snow storms. If I couldn’t get out one of the exit doors, I would dive into the nearest closet, pull the door shut and hold onto it with all my might. My goal was to prevent my mom from dragging me out to face the punishment for whatever random event had occurred which I would be completely blamed for causing.

Even after endless years of therapy with some of the best therapists on the planet, to this day I have to consciously stop myself for apologizing all the time. If I didn’t practice mindfulness I would still be apologizing for malfunctioning traffic lights, long lines at the grocery store or loud dogs barking in the neighborhood. Even though I don’t own a dog, I might somehow slip back into that old pattern of feeling like I was at fault because a loud dog was disrupting the neighborhood. Am I exaggerating? Not really.

The good news? I’ve progressed to the point in my life where I kick into automatic self-talk and remind myself that random events have nothing to do with me. I’m extremely grateful for that knowledge. If you grew up with a parent or other primary caretakers like my mother, you may also have been constantly blamed for random life events. This would most likely explain why you take responsibility for everything that goes on around you, like it’s your job. Yes, you can be brought up to believe that you have to change everything and everyone around you. It sounds like a blessing and a curse.

You feel for others and weigh the obstacles in your life to see where there is room to help someone else and that will weigh on you more than any burden you’ll ever run into on your own. There’s nothing you can do but change yourself before the world changes you in a harsh way. If you don’t take initiative and focus on what betters you, you’ll brighten the world while you waste away. Of course this puts you in a no-win situation where if someone else is bad, you believe it’s your fault. Or you beat yourself up for not stopping the bad behaviours.

If you can afford to work with a therapist, this would be a great issue to start working on. There is no instant fix. Trust me, I know. If you can’t afford to work with a therapist, invest in some good books on affirmations and build yourself a set which helps you to retrain your mind to believe that you are only responsible for your own actions in life. The good news is that you are very aware of your behavior, want to understand it and hopefully change it to break the cycle. Just having the awareness of your pattern is a great first step. Cheers