I Am Ready To Share.

It has taken me over 36 months to gather my thoughts.

I have contemplated whether I should share openly on LinkedIn. After a few conversations with people I respect and being still to process, I think it is important to share openly. I hope my words inspire and encourage you to share more too.

We often don’t read posts about leaders and emotions on LinkedIn. I want to change that by expanding the importance of leaders sharing their emotional experiences.

I had to remind myself that it is okay as a leader to make space to process, take the time to embrace experiences, slow down, and be still.?It was hard for me to be still until 2019.

I listened to the voice inside me (with openness) …I slowed down with my work-by choice. I started to re-examine me-the business, my work, my worth, and my focus.

You see Pre-COVID, I encountered a few traumatizing moments with the death of two close friends (who were my everything) and ex-employees who were not aligned with the foundation of what I created: collaboration, openness, achievement, respect, curiosity and care.

It was very traumatizing for me. I was emotionally and mentally hijacked. I felt betrayed. I felt used. I felt abandoned. I felt lied to. I felt misled. I felt fooled. I felt incompetent, and I felt responsible for my sadness. I felt alone and empty. My heart ached. ?

The experiences tested my trust and care levels, and I do not regret the experiences. However, I remained steadfast and persevered. The circle of trust I built reminded me of being human and continuing to invest more in love and honesty. ?

My teammates, business peers, friends and family reminded me of my words:

“Look deep within the gifts you have to offer. Cherish them and let them shine through you. Don’t let anyone diminish your light. Your light is there to be shared and be bright…so share it with love.”

In 2020, as I regained my mental and emotional strength, COVID took the world by storm…DEI was being spotlighted… the polarization among people was increasing…workplaces were shifting quickly…language policing was happening…people were being cancelled for being human… and…

I lost another close friend to cancer the day before the COVID lockdown. I was her caregiver. I was her everything. She was in a coma, and I had to make a decision I hope many don’t experience. It was hard. It traumatized my mind and heart. Sadly, it has left a void in my heart to this day.

So, I went into observation mode. I started to reflect on past experiences. I realized that because I cared for the success of all people, I needed to be cognizant of how my ideas, actions and IP were being compromised, borrowed and stolen.?

I withdrew to the sidelines to guide only a few organizations with workplace strategy (DEI and people strategy) and talent management (recruitment) because, despite my pause and reflection mode, I continued to care and believe in people (I still do, and it’s even more vital now).

I remained grounded and made space to unpack and examine. I didn’t allow or entertain the actions of others to deflate me. Also, being surrounded by teammates who care and are passionate about people and business made a huge difference. They took on a lot, and I will always remain grateful to them (a post for another day soon). ??

During my observation mode, I remained engaged. I was listening (actively), minimizing my commenting. However, I do recognize that I limited my interaction with many and, as a result, was inconsistent with connecting and maintaining the relationships I built over my tenure.

I became anxious because I was inconsistent with my words and actions. I was not walking the walk or talk.?I had to make peace with myself and recognize that the spaces I had created were transforming. My cup was half-full, and it seemed like I was wearing a mask to keep me still and not to show my vulnerability...but it was real. It was real because I was silent in the spaces I created and the spaces I was welcomed in.

How we build and interact in spaces is integral to human connection.

It is about the spaces we create—the spaces we want to be in and create in.?

Because of the still space, I was in for 36 months, I am more than ever committed and cognizant of the spaces I create today and for the future.

The learning lessons for me:

1. It is okay for leaders to express feelings and emotions without fear of reprimand or feelings of incompetency.
2. Celebrate and own your intelligence-it’s yours to own!
3. To be effective in communication, it takes dedication, patience, grace and transparency.
4. It is essential to pause, reflect and be still to gain clarity.
5. Embrace being human. Extend grace to yourself and being.
6. Life is more beautiful when you have a circle of trust (people) who appreciate and acknowledge your gifts.
7. Give yourself permission to make space to breathe, release and move.
8. Keep your eyes on your dreams and minimize the noise that can distract you from achieving your dreams.
9. Learning is constant, and there are many lessons-good, great, bad and ugly that will shape you; it’s essential that you don’t become the lessons.
10. Have no regrets. Embrace your journey. Keep it real. Be honest and operate from care always.

I have been and continue to be mindful of my actions.?I have created better boundaries and am learning to acknowledge my gifts.??

I remain engaged in creating, guiding and learning together.?I am human.?I look forward to sharing more with you in 2023 and how I am invested and committed to building inclusive and equitable spaces in Canada and globally.?

Stay tuned.? I do have more to share with you in the coming weeks...

Until next time.

XXX

CF