I am overwhelmed, how about you?

"Overwhelmed …….." I am hearing this word so much at the moment……so many people with the feeling of being overwhelmed….. ……but is it always negative?

It has really made me think deeply about this word, so much so that I wanted to dive into its origins. In fact, it dates back to the 15th/16th Century and comes from the Old English word "whelm," meaning to overturn or capsize and the prefix "over-" intensifies it further by giving a sense of being completely submerged or engulfed. There is a hint of it relating to boats, waves, water and definitely gives the feeling of being swept over by a powerful force, like a ship being overtaken by a massive wave. And that′s how we use it today as it really does describe the state of being overcome by emotions, tasks, or circumstances that seem too great to handle.

However, it does not necessarily need to be “negative” – we may also be washed over with gratitude or appreciation. When I compare my June of this year and my June last year, I can fully appreciate the difference between a “positive feeling of being overthrown by a massive wave of appreciation, gratitude and love for life” and “a feeling of being swept away and drenched by a massive wave of grief”.

This time last year I was still working my way through a month of May that had been wave after wave of intense emotional loss; one after the other. At the beginning of May, my father passed away. Two weeks later, my adopted dog died during a routine sterilization operation: a week later my best friend′s son committed suicide: a week later my 89 year old mother had a major operation. Four major events in my life that hit me deeply. Each time as I tried to cope and assimilate grief, loss and sadness from one thing, the next hit me and it felt like wave after wave hurtling and crashing into me. When I look back at this time, I am so grateful that my work, my close friends and all my knowledge about the brain, metacognition, professional coaching, psychology, neuroscience gave me the equilibrium and the equanimity to get through this period of time and through this “overwhelming tide of sad tidings” and to wade through the quagmire of grief and loss.

This June is a totally different emotional resonance. This year I am overwhelmed with positivity, love for life, joy of learning as I embark on new learning programmes as a learner to hone and deepen my skills, , excited for the new projects that are emerging, full of so much appreciation to many teachers who have been following me for years and years and then taking the step to join my training and grateful to those new teachers who are just discovering us and joining our courses because what we do resonates with them. Maybe I can sum it all up into, a June where I feel overwhelmed with joy and appreciation!

But all of this reflecting on the meaning of the word overwhelmed, also pushed me to reflect on how so many of our learners and especially language learners experience the feeling of “overwhelm”. Obviously, lLearning a new language is an endeavor that can often trigger feelings of overwhelm. So maybe we can connect back to the etymology and meaning of "overwhelm" in our quest to help language learners manage this learning process better:

1. Acknowledge and Label the Feeling

Recognizing that the sense of being overwhelmed is like to being submerged by a powerful wave can help language learners understand that this is a natural reaction to the enormity of the task. We know that this could actually cause a fight or flight response provoked by the uncertainty of ever achieving mastery of the language. In fact, “If the amygdala senses physical, emotional, social uncertainty it FULLY focuses on the threat and engages ALL brain’s energy” (McGarry LM, Carter AG. Inhibitory Gating of Basolateral Amygdala Inputs to the Prefrontal Cortex. J Neurosci. 2016 Sep 7;36(36):9391-406. doi: 10.1523/JNEUROSCI.0874-16.2016. PMID: 27605614; PMCID: PMC5013187).

Maybe accepting this emotional response is the first step toward managing it. In addition, by labelling the emotions we are feeling could in fact help the brain to rationalize, defuse and reduce the power of the “overwhelm”. As Matthew Liebemann, neuroscientist states “when you put feelings into words, you are activating the prefrontal region and seeing a reduced response in the amygdala… you seem to be hitting the brakes on your emotional responses”. (Lieberman MD, Eisenberger NI, Crockett MJ, Tom SM, Pfeifer JH, Way BM. Putting feelings into words: affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychol Sci. 2007 May;18(5):421-8. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x. PMID: 17576282.)

2. Break Down the Process

Just as a ship might navigate through stormy seas by taking one wave at a time, our language learners can benefit from breaking down their learning journey into manageable port stops along the route. This can involve setting small, achievable goals, such as learning a set number of new words each day or mastering a particular grammatical structure before moving on to the next. From the research we can see that a chunk reduces the load on working memory (Thalmann M, Souza AS, Oberauer K. How does chunking help working memory? J Exp Psychol Learn Mem Cogn. 2019 Jan;45(1):37-55. doi: 10.1037/xlm0000578. Epub 2018 Apr 26. PMID: 29698045.), so as coaches we have to know how to really help learners break that language down!

3. Look for an accountability partner

In the same way that sailors rely on their crew to help navigate through rough waters, language learners can benefit from having a professional language coach to map out, navigate and sail the ship in calm and stormy waters. In addition, our learners could connect with language learning communities, online forums, study groups, or even language exchange partners. Creating our own unique learning support system is key to alleviate the feeling of being alone in the journey and provide practical assistance and encouragement.

4. Embrace the Challenge

Understanding that being overwhelmed is part of the learning process can help learners reshape and enhance mindset. How would it feel if we greet the feeling positively rather than a negative indication of barriers, but as a sign of pushing through boundaries; a sign of mastering the art of navigation and surfing the waves; a sign of making progress. Embracing the challenge with a positive attitude can turn the feeling of being overwhelmed into a propeller of motivation. A professional language coach would have a deep coaching conversation with a learner to really help them to reach insights into their mindset.

As a conclusion, it is really fascinating for me how words themselves often can help us come into a deeper understanding about ourselves, about our own evolution and how reflecting on words may also provide answers. The next time you feel “overwhelmed” in the negative sense or you hear someone describe their state in this way, maybe you could analyze the word with them to help them shift those emotions to gain new perspectives on the experience and employ strategies to manage the feelings more effectively. In doing so, we can transform a potentially paralyzing experience into a journey of growth and discovery, navigating the vast ocean of language with resilience and confidence.

And as a final reflection: Dad, you loved sailing, so wherever you may be, I dedicate this Irish Sailor’s blessing to you.

May the seas lie smooth before you.

May a gentle breeze forever fill your sails.

May sunshine warm your face,

And kindness warm your soul.

And, until we meet again,

May God bless you and keep you safe.

#language coach #languageteacher #languagetrainer #coaching #coachingineducation #languagecoaching #neurolanguagecoaching #neurohearteducation

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