I am not my Mistakes! Mistakes are part of my Life!

I am wondering & pondering about how people approach mistakes.

The types of words that they use to shame, blame, criticize mistakes?

Sometimes its we ourselves who do it for ourselves and sometimes it is from our external relationships or how the world perceives us or we expect the world to perceive us.

Think about yourself for last 1 week. What mistakes did you make?

Do you feel like you haven't made any mistakes, probably you are an alien from another planet.

Everyone in this world makes mistakes. And everyone can feel that they belong to this world with their mistakes.

Potential assumptions are:

1. People who makes mistakes cannot be belonged to a certain community
2. People who make mistakes are not leaders, not parents, not teachers/gurus, not coaches or mentors, etc.
3. People who make mistakes are not professional
4. People who make mistakes will forever fail to correct themselves
5. People who make mistakes will never evolve
6. People who make mistakes continue to make those mistakes.
7. Any many more........

This is where data of the past can become a threat. Data of the past could define two things and make human beings that they dont belong to the community..

1. People who didnt make a mistake in a certain thing WILL NEVER make that mistake. (Ex: people saying, i never thought you would ever do this to me, or behave in this way or would make certain decisions.) The potential expectation is that people are perfect. And they can never go wrong.
2. People who have been making a certain mistake is perceived as , would NEVER CORRECT themselves. They are labelled and shamed and blamed with that mistakes. (Ex: He is a looser, he is a procrastinator, he has never been on team, he is never a good leader or team player, etc.)

The reality is we live with 3 Types of people:

1. People who make mistakes. They are aware of their mistakes & ignorant because for them its an acceptable mistake or not a mistake at all in their world view.
2. People who make make mistakes. They are not aware of the mistakes and they have never realized or understood that as a mistake. Until someone makes them realize or their own life events can guide them for realization they are continuing their mistakes.
3. People who think they never make mistakes. They have set expectations for themselves & others that they would never ever make mistakes. This is an inhuman pressure for themselves to maintain a state of life/act. This also affects them on allowing others to make mistakes or even if they do mistakes it could make them anxious, they may cover it up, or invest all their energy in proving they havent made a mistake.
4. People who make the mistake & very fragile about correcting their mistakes. They keep trying to correct their mistakes. The speed of them trying and correcting their mistake could be slow. They may repeat the mistakes multiple times too, because the unlearning is quite challenging for them. (Ex: my son says, amma I am trying to correct it but my mind takes me back to my old habits).
5. People who make mistakes. They are very fragile and fast to correct them. They are quick learners & unlearners who correct their mistakes very soon and might align with other's expectations. This is a trait that is expected in today's world.

I have been in all these 5 stages in different stages of my life. Different occasions or situations of my life.

I have wondered why people want to seal their mistakes? why cant they talk about their mistakes openly, accept them , acknowledge them, and make attempts to move to pint 5? What is the fire fight is all about?

The fire fight is with the sense of Shame. The relationship that we have between mistakes, perception of mistakes & the sense of shame. I have realized in my life facing my mistakes is better than avoiding or denying them. I ask myself this is seen as a mistake in relevance to what, through whose lens and with what meaning to it? And then I seperate my individual identity from my mistakes from past or present. "I am not my Mistakes. I am not defined by my mistakes. I am a human who does mistakes and it is normal. Now that I know I made a mistake, how can I acknowledge them & not allow it to define my future? Because I am not going to allow my mistakes to define me. I am divine. I am eternal. I am more than the mistakes that i make.

Start forgiving yourself for the mistakes you are making today and accept its human to make mistakes. Learning and un learning may not happen in the same pace for all of us. What is important is are you trying to arrive to pint 5, to make attempt to be agile and fast to unlearn, learn & relearn. You past is just a pattern. Its you who has the power to create the new pattern. When you dont take ownership of your mistakes and start creating your new pattern, you will be labelled as your mistakes from your old patterns by the world around you....

I have chosen to keep moving myself to point 5.

I never allow my mistakes or the people who address me with my mistakes to define me. I have made the choice. What about you?

Join with me as I intuitively write this open book for the benefit of the world. Explore with me, how can you still belong to this world with your mistakes. Your mistakes cannot take your freedom to be on this earth. If we can realize that we can minimize many addictions, many suicides, many mental health issues, many power dynamics, many inhuman treatments, many leadership & team challenges by approaching mistakes differently....... we can have an inclusive world with mistakes and more opportunities for growth and grace.

Feel free to share your thoughts, reflections, feelings, I would be curious to know how are you navigating your mistakes.

Anushly Sithamparam

www.improshareglobal.com

ImproShare Global

*IMPORTANT NOTE*

Did you find any mistakes in this article? Yes I saw some mistakes and left it as it is.... you know why. I just wanted you to ask yourself, what is the first thing came in to your mind when you saw that mistake? What changed about the perception you have about my identity? Is that true? Is that real? Or was that a mistaken perceptions about me? If that was a mistake, do not worry. You didnt do a crime. You are not a victim of your mistakes. And I am also not a victim of my mistakes. I just intentionally made those mistakes and you noticed them. Now you can just acknowledge and celebrate the awareness you have about how to approach mistakes in the future. It could be your own mistakes or mistakes made by others. Cheers :-)!!!!