I AM NOT MY MISTAKES Neither Are You

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. ―Albert Einstein

How many mistakes have you made? A lot right… believe me, I know! Or do you never make any mistakes?

Start doing some new things, and you will make more mistakes. But we are not talking about filing the papers in the wrong drawer or not setting up the display in the right way or place or whatever.

We are talking about those BIG life-changing mistakes we may make if we are unaware, which is why I make you aware. And you can’t say that ignorance is bliss because ignorance is a lack of education, so I educate. Plus, do you want to remain unaware of any of these mistakes that can significantly alter and harm your life?

I don’t think so… What mistakes? Keep reading. It will benefit you in only a few minutes.

You’re reading about some of my mistakes. Wait until you read my next book. DanMonahan.ca/biography: Go check out that page, and you may just get it for free.

You will discover many more details about all the mistakes I have made. That way, if anyone else is struggling with any of these same mistakes, I can help you while I am helping and loving myself.?Because talking about all this stuff with you is helping me?a lot!

I appreciate your commitment to learn, grow, and improve your life. You’re an all-star.

A mistake is okay because we all make them frequently throughout our lives. If you don’t believe me, look at any two-year-old trying to learn to walk or any seven-year-old trying to learn to ride a bike and watch them to see how long before they fall or wipe out again. Falling on your ass is a pretty big mistake.

Flipping over the handlebars of your bike on cement with no shirt on is a very painful, often embarrassing mistake. But those are small and expected to happen to the best of us, right… How do I still remember that then?

30-Years later! ??

In some cultures, people are shamed or stigmatized when making mistakes. I hope you never feel that way about yourself or another person because, if you are human, you will make many mistakes in your lifetime.

When I make a mistake or error, I accept it and ask myself several questions, starting with, why did I make this mistake? How did it happen? How do I feel? How do I want to feel? How do I create that? Did my mistake affect anyone else? If so, how do they feel? How do I want them to feel? How do I create that outcome, or what can I do to create that outcome next time? How do we correct it and prevent this mistake from happening again?

Making mistakes is expected when you have a Growth Mindset.?People with a growth mindset believe mistakes are opportunities for learning and growth. With a growth mindset, you tend to be more resilient and open to challenges, seeing errors as part of the improvement process; it is for me. How about you?

Or do you have a Fixed Mindset and view mistakes as evidence of your limitations or lack of inherent ability? This perspective can hinder personal development and lead to a fear of failure. Remember fear is most often false evidence/emotions appearing real.

Acknowledging that you make mistakes is a very mature and responsible thing to do. It means you’re honest, humble, resilient, and show integrity. I look forward to making mistakes every day. Well, maybe not every day. ??

Overcoming your mistakes is usually inspirational and celebrated.

Am I not inspirational to you?

I talk about many common mistakes people make because I know that some who are reading this are making them right now. I have made many of these, and if you don’t know something is wrong, you can’t fix it.

This is the first mistake we are going to learn about and review.

Failing to listen to other people.

When you converse with someone, do you listen to what the other person is saying, or are you often thinking (that you know it all) of the next thing you will say when the person you are conversing with is talking? You cannot do two (be thinking of your memories and accessing/remembering/memorizing the words you will say as soon as you can cut in) and listening to what the other person is saying simultaneously.

Are you guilty of this? I am. I have in the past hundreds or, realistically, thousands of times. Awareness has allowed me to rise about this error. Being present now, I work to be focused on one thing. Because you or I cannot do two things at once, that is task switching. However, in chapter 16,?Setting Goals & Achieving Them, I cover this in detail.

The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. ─Stephen R. Covey The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

So, we will move on to another huge mistake I see often around me.

Overlooking the Importance of Self-Care: Neglecting personal well-being, including mental (reading books) and physical health (exercise and working out) can lead to burnout (early death) and decreased productivity. For real.

Most often, people, if you ask them, say that they want to be healthy and are working on a diet or an exercise routine in one way or another.

Yet why are they often always just starting them or not showing results from the money they invest into the memberships or committed to their promise to run in the morning and do the push-ups and core exercises required nearly daily? (They have excusitis when they get to the gym and only half-ass their workouts or when they wake up in the morning.)

I think it is because they are only interested in what having a gym membership can do for them, but they aren’t committed to their goal and intention of being the healthy self they pursue.?They are interested but not committed.

They engage in the next very important mistake that people make: procrastination. Putting off tasks until the last minute leads to unnecessary stress, lower-quality work, and missed deadlines and opportunities. I cover this in detail in chapter 15, “How to Accomplish Your Goals.” So we will move on…

Another big mistake I see and hear about is?living paycheck to paycheck and?not saving money for retirement.?Saving for the future is essential?to avoid financial instability and limit one's ability to handle unexpected expenses. Do you think the government will give you the life of your dreams or help you survive?

That is if you live in a country like Canada or The United States, many countries don’t have any welfare programs.

Let us thrive over just surviving. That is what you are learning through this book: how to thrive!

The only way to do that is to change; that is precisely where our next mistake is: people avoid change. Resistance to change can hinder personal growth and opportunities for advancement.

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living. ─Gail Sheehy

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often. ─Winston Churchill

Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.? ─John C. Maxwell

The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change their future ?by merely changing their attitude. ─Oprah Winfrey

There are many more things that I can say about change or quotes from other authors and philosophers. But does anything else need to be said??Embrace change;?accept that it may be uncomfortable or embarrassing but necessary for growth and reaching your potential!

One of the biggest mistakes that people make is our next one. This is why I have released all my old animosities, grudges, anger, resentment, or hatred for anyone from past wrongs.

So it should be for you also!

Holding Onto Grudges: I can’t even tell you how many “friends” I have lost over the years because they refused to forgive me for one wrong or another. But if they saw me now, they might want to go back in time and change their mind. But that is the problem: those things can’t be unsaid or undone, and all that time is gone; we can’t get it back. So, do not be quick to tell someone you will never forgive them.

They are human; mistakes are okay if you learn from them.

Another big mistake is people not setting goals for themselves, but that is not going to be your problem because this book has four chapters on setting goals for your life and your day.?And you’re an Action-Taking Superstar. Without clear goals, it's easy to lose direction and motivation in both your personal and professional life.

Our next mistake is underestimating the Importance of Communication. Poor communication can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and missed opportunities. This is why I have such a love for words and am a great communicator. When I was getting out of jail in 2018, I still stuttered and mumbled sometimes if I was not paying attention to how I spoke and sounded or when I was in a stressful situation. So, I made mastering communication a life goal and now today I am an absurd nerd with my verbs, adverbs, and words.

Make mastering communication a life goal for you as well. Be willing to put in the time to learn the language and how to speak and listen (the biggest part of good communication is listening) properly. And you could be the next New York Times Bestseller.

Suppose that is important to you in sharing your story. It is for me!

Not Asking for Help. Pride or fear of appearing weak can prevent people from seeking assistance, making challenges harder to overcome. Are you afraid of asking people for help? Why or why not? Don’t be! Other people have everything that you need already. You would be surprised by how many people want to help you, so ask. You can help me by telling the world what you think of this book. For the value and insight you have received, please share what you think of this book with the world.

Have you been Ignoring your Personal Finances? Lack of attention to budgeting and financial planning can lead to debt and insecurity. Not Saving for Retirement Early Enough: Many people need to pay more attention to the importance of starting retirement savings early (age seven start to teach your children to save at a young age, and they will develop the habit), which can significantly impact the compound interest accrued over time. Man, did I mess that one up...

Do you compare yourself to everyone else, this can lead to unnecessary dissatisfaction and overlook one’s unique path and abilities. Just because they did it, that’s great. How can you learn to improve? What made them successful? Ask and look for the answers to these questions, and you will discover that their successes can only help you more. Then, when you have learned everything you can from a distance and purchased all of their books and programs that you can. Ask them, they became successful through service to other people, that is how all people become truly successful.

Ignoring the Importance of Work-Life.?Overworking can lead to burnout, stress, and health problems, impacting personal life and happiness. I am guilty of overworking a lot when I was younger. At one point, I worked for 22 hours straight with a nap to return to another 22 hours of work. Don’t Do This!

Overlooking the Importance of Gratitude and Mindfulness. Not appreciating the present and focusing too much on the past or future can detract from happiness and satisfaction in life. Distracted by screens and noise and everyone screaming for your attention. I cover this in detail in chapter 18, “How do you Accomplish Your Goals, Train Your Mind.”? I am grateful that you are reading this.

See, there is always something to be grateful for.?You can have gratitude for reading this. Bam! ?? Gratitude.

We need to talk about not learning from past mistakes. Don’t just read or listen and not learn from all that I have shared. When you learn, you need to act.

What is even better than learning from your own mistakes is when you can learn from other people's mistakes, do you see the mistake I have made and continue to share with you that I hope and pray you have not made? I am teaching you how you can fix or repair these mistakes.

If you have… what action can you take today to improve any mistakes you are now aware of?

I need to close with that big mistake I talked about after all those beautiful quotes on change.

Exploring the Role of Forgiveness.

To move on from our grudges, we must forgive. That doesn’t mean you have to be friends with them or move in with them or whatever. It just means you have a heart and can see yourself in the wrong that they did because they are like you. They are human.

Forgiveness, both of oneself and others plays a crucial role in recovering from past hurts, negative behaviours, and cycles of dysfunction. It involves releasing resentment, anger, and blame, which can be transformative, foster healing, and facilitate a move toward a more positive future.

Forgiveness of Self. The journey to recovery often begins with self-forgiveness. It requires acknowledging past mistakes and accepting oneself, flaws and all, without condoning harmful behaviours. This step is vital for reducing guilt and shame, which are significant barriers to personal growth and healing. Self-forgiveness opens the door to self-compassion and the belief in one's capacity for change.

Forgiving Others. Forgiving those who have caused pain or harm can be challenging but is equally crucial for healing. Holding onto anger and resentment ties individuals to the past and can perpetuate negative emotions and stress. In this sense, forgiveness is not about excusing harmful actions but about letting go of their emotional hold, thus freeing oneself from the cycle of negativity. It is an enemy character attribute. If you don’t know all the enemy character attributes, you can get your list of enemy character attributes for free at DanMonahan.ca/enemy I would if I was you!

Impact on recovery. Forgiveness facilitates emotional healing, reduces stress, and promotes well-being. It can also improve mental health and emotional resilience and strengthen your relationships in the context of overcoming addiction and breaking cycles of negative behaviour. Forgiveness is a powerful tool for rebuilding one's life and moving forward with hope and purpose.

The stories I am sharing throughout this book have required an immense amount of forgiveness on many people’s parts in order for our relationships to be repaired and alive today, most notably with my mom.

My story of a troubled past toward reconciliation and change highlights how forgiving oneself and others can be a pivotal step in breaking free from the shackles of past traumas and negative patterns. If I had not forgiven myself, do you think I would be able to share about all the wrongs that I am?

No!

As we close the chapter on "I Am Not My Mistakes Neither Are You," reflecting on the transformative power of mistakes, forgiveness, and personal growth, we are about to embark on a journey that might seem, at first glance, a bit unconventional. The forthcoming chapter, “The Road Less Traveled: A Journey Through Fights, Failures, and Finding Myself Pursuing Freedom All in One Short Chapter," promises to delve into the depths of societal perceptions, personal struggles, and the often-blurry line between sanity and insanity, seen through the lens of my experiences.

This transition isn't merely about shifting topics; it's an invitation to challenge our preconceived notions, question the boundaries of normalcy, and explore the resilience of the human spirit in the face of adversity. It beckons us to consider:

How do societal judgments shape our understanding of mental health and personal challenges?

Can an unconventional path also be a profound journey toward self-discovery and healing? Healing from Bipolar and ADHD conquering your mind without the aid of drugs or stimulants?

What does it truly mean to be labeled as "crazy" in a world where normalcy is often a masquerade?

As we venture into this narrative, I encourage you to hold onto the essence of our previous discussions—growth, forgiveness, and the unwavering strength found in vulnerability. This chapter is not just a recounting of events; it's an exploration of the complexities of the human condition, an invitation to embrace the unpredictable, and a testament to the power of facing one's fears, even when the world doesn't understand your path.

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Transition Questions:

Have you ever been misunderstood or judged harshly for a decision that felt right to you? How did you navigate that judgment?

In what ways do societal pressures and expectations influence our perceptions of mental health and wellness? What if you are just passionate and sure in your victory? They said Columbus was nuts and would sail off the world's edge. Look how that one turned out.

Reflect on a time when you had to confront a difficult truth about yourself. How did this confrontation ultimately lead to growth or change?

What is one thing you can change starting right now to improve your mindset and health?

Consider the concept of "sanity" in a society that often values conformity over authenticity. What does true mental and emotional wellness mean to you?

As you reflect on these questions, remember that the journey ahead is one of courage, resilience, the relentless pursuit of authenticity, and self-forgiveness, even when it leads us down paths that others may not understand. Let's embark on this journey with open hearts and minds, ready to challenge, learn, and grow.

Did you enjoy reading this excerpt from Einstein Versus Frankenstein HOW TO CONQUER-SELF. Want to read more? Head over to EinsteinvsFrankenstein.com & download more of my book for free today.

Of course, I appreciate you leaving a comment with your thoughts, questions, and insights and sharing this writing with anyone you believe will enjoy this transformative, educational, heartfelt, and entertaining story. Thank you; I love you!

Feel free to get ahold of me by messaging me on LinkedIn. I will usually reply within 24 hours