I am more Jerry Maguire than Gordon Gekko

Jerry Maguire vs. Gordon Gekko (and Bud Fox)

This thought jumped into my frontal cortex while driving to the recycling/junk yard with my husband on Saturday.  I am sure these thoughts have been swirling for quite some time and needed some context to take shape. Perhaps our trip to the recycling was both a physical and figurative one?

If I am honest, both personalities probably exist in my psyche. What you feed grows. I started my career as a “stockbroker” in 1993. The 1980’s were my formative years. The movies from the 80’s can do no wrong in my opinion and are the bar by which I judge most cinemaJ  (I digress)

One movie that captured the “Yuppy Movement” better than almost any other was Wall Street. Greed sanctioned as Good was a powerful and destructive message to send to an entire generation! Consumption, convenience, image, superficiality seeped into the pores of our very being through our TV, Movies and magazines. Kids in my High School were admired and exalted if their parents owned a BMW, Mercedes or a Porsche. (The Germans did very well from this American trendJ) They weren’t measured on kindness or compassion or a desire to be authentic. Today, the children we admire are standing up to one of the most powerful lobby groups in America and demanding not only to be heard, but for reasonable AND effective gun control, so they can carry on with the business of getting an education without being gunned down between lunch and math class. This makes my heart sore. It also makes me look inside and question, why didn’t my generation take a stand on important issues of the time? (eg. proliferation of AIDS amongst teens)

Why? I think because we were taught to value sales over serving. Sales at any cost, without regard to either the benefit or the cost to the other party. It is something I have struggled with my entire career. I have never truly been motivated by money. I am motivated by the things money can buy, but it turns out what I thought I should buy and what makes me happy are quite different. Without truly understanding this undercurrent flowing within in me, I left a bank I had been with for 14 years, a comfortable career and a fairly stable income to follow a passion I had cultivated since the late 1990’s when Portland was hit by the “Silicon Valley” bug, becoming part of the “Silicon Forest.” I went into venture capital in February 2008, right before the global economy went into a tailspin! It was the most exhilarating, terrifying and financially destructive period I have ever experienced. I would not change it for a second! I met fascinating people, raised money for newly born “clean technology” companies that helped me to finally find my “financial voice!” I understood for the first time in my career, what it meant to have both real “skin in the game” and to be part of something “meaningful.” This did not actually equate to me becoming financially independent, in fact quite the opposite! I saw both the power and destruction of putting money into something you truly believed in as well as the danger of too much money flowing. â€œLate stage” in venture terms in 2008 had a much different meaning in 2012!  Still, living through this financial Tsunami had its highlights. I met Vinod Khosla in Dubai and was introduced to Bloom Energy. I met Henrik Fisker and accidentally introduced him to his current wife, as well as personally invested (along side my clients) in his first electric car iteration. I invested/raised money for a fascinating biotech company, AMRS, that actually made it to an IPO, only to suffer miserably in the public markets. A company who created the first synthetically derived key ingredient needed for anti-malarial medication-funded by Bill and Melinda Gates! These were and still are fascinating innovators whom I feel very fortunate to have been in their orbit for a time.

Why am I writing all of this and what is my damn point? Having found myself back in private banking, I had to make a big decision about what kind of clients I wanted to work with and what kind of advisor I wanted to be? I knew what I did not want to be, Gordon Gekko!

Banking has changed dramatically.  The regulation and administrative burden placed on the industry and thus myself, is enormous. The amount of information I have to collect on my clients and prospective clients is actually quite invasive. I know it has to be done, but it is incredibly personal information, none-the-less. I do not take this lightly. On that Saturday drive to do some Spring-cleaning, I was pondering this point. I have to obtain so much personal information on my clients, but how much about me do they really know? 

Should they know I was raised by a single mom and the mere fact that I graduated from college meant I had achieved more than I “statistically” should have. I had three jobs during my time at Pepperdine, just to survive. The best job I ever had was working at Pet Headquarters in Malibu! I talked Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn out of buying a cute little, wonky eyed Pug, because if she was there another two weeks, I could afford to buy her myself! (I did buy her and she was my pride and joy) I also sold a different pug to Ozzie and Sharon Osbourne. (Hoping desperately that was a good decisionJ) I was also on 90210 for several years, but that should probably go in a different story!

Should they know what drives me and how I am very well placed to be a “tour guide” through their future financial future because I have myself lived through some very volatile and scary markets? Should they know that I am a passionate animal activist and that if I see someone wearing real fur I will probably be crying on the inside and donate even more to PETA and The Humane Society that month? Should they know that I want to be an advocate for THEIR passions! 

Should they know that working with entrepreneurs is MY absolute passion and that I will happily be both defensive back and offensive tackle within the context of my role to help them achieve their goals? 

Why, because I finally realized, I am meant to serve not sell. I am in the fortunate position to harness all of my god given instincts as a woman, one’s that two decades ago I did not appreciate or feed, to be an activist and partner for my tribe! Thank you for listening and do tell me how I can help you with your passions! I truly want to see everyone in my orbit be successful! Happy Easter everyone-      I'll tell you why you don't have your $ million. You play for the money. You play with your head, not your heart. When you get on the field, it's all about what you didn't get. Who's to blame. Who's got the contract you didn't get. That is not what inspires people! Shut up! Play the game from your heart. Then I'll show you the kwan. And that's the truth! Jerry Maguire