I AM Joshua “Why God is good..”

What's up everybody. So some of you have seen me do a B live, like off and on for the last 10, 15 minutes. It's because I've been playing with the software that I've been building out because I'm really, really excited about doing gratitude, unfiltered again, and we have some enhancements coming, but I have to get this software perfected. And one of the cool things about the sub pieces of software that I'm using is that we literally can go live from Instagram. We can go live from Facebook, YouTube, Periscope, Twitch, Periscope.

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I think I said that the TV network, like all of it, and these graphics are so beautiful, 3d animation. There's so many cool things that are happening with the software, but for three days, I've stared at this computer and I'm trying to perfect it. And I have to learn on my own. How many thank you, Jessica. You're hot too. Hi, Juliana. Good to see you. How many of you are one of those people that you learn by tinkering? Like you just have to tinker and then you break stuff and you mess it up and then, but you could do it. Like you just keep trying to try and try it. Like, I'm one of those people, because I've been sitting here watching all of these coding videos and trying to learn like the perfect way to do it.

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And I'm listening to people talk at me and I don't ju I just, I can't comprehend it and then reading it. And then the pages, the words, just all dance all over the place. I literally have to just sit here and get behind a computer and teach tinker. And by the way, Victoria, I think you need to go in and reset what you set up on the network. Victoria has a broadcast tomorrow morning that you guys want to check out really, really powerful interview. You can go to live mano, worldwide.org and watch it live, or Victoria plug your page so people can watch it there. I think I messed up the YouTube thing length though. Cause I was tinkering around.

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So thank God you with a computer, you can't do too much damage, but I think some of you saw me picking my nose. Cause I didn't know I was live. I was supposed to have this animation screen up. It is so cool. What's happening with technology. But anyway, the title of this is God is awesome. And here's why I want to share. I'm going to, I'm actually going to pull this up. I want to read this to you because this is why you share your testimony. This is why you share your testimony. No matter how scary it is. Okay, here we go.

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I thought I would let you know. My testimony was being watched inside a drug dealers house this weekend by a house full of addicts. As they did drugs, I got some of them thinking it planted seeds of hope. Thank you for the opportunity. I'm in tears with God's goodness. I'm not coming on here to brag about me. I'm coming on here to brag about the person that shared their testimony. I'm not going to say her name. Well, I don't know if she cares. I'd better. Not just in case a really powerful testimony, but you guys, your testimonies has a greater impact than you think it.

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And you may share your testimony on a video that happened two years ago, but somebody else is watching it and somebody else sees it. And that impact is enough to be able to change their life. Your story may be the very thing. And I talked about this on the live the other day, but this just drives the point home. Even more that it may be like, some of you are sitting around waiting for your breakthrough, waiting on God to move, waiting on, you know, somebody to come into your life. That's going to rescue you and save you and provide you with an opportunity. But I got to tell you, some of your breakthroughs are already inside of you.

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You know? And I, again, I talked about this other day, but some of you just need to open your mouth. This is the first time this girl ever shared her testimony. And two years later, it's still having an impact and it weaved its way into a house full of drugs. And the seed has been planted. That's how amazing God is because your very thing that was supposed to destroy you, the very thing that was supposed to wreck your life forever gets to be your victory. And it also gets to be the very thing that can save somebody else's life I've said before your pain and your trauma really has nothing to do with you.

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And I'm not trying to be insensitive at all because some of you are still holding onto the fact that you know, a boyfriend or a girlfriend abused you and beat the crap out of you called you bad names. Your uncle molested you, your dad molested you. Your mom molested you, whatever like you, you experienced trauma. And I, and I know a lot of you want to hang onto this trauma. It's a big old cuddly fuzzy blanket. I just want my, I want my trauma blanket. I just want it. I just need this thing. I need to hang on to it. It's not yours. Your trauma is not. You want us to hang on to, you got to talk about it. Not dwell on it. Not isn't it release it.

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That your secrets, your secrets become like a big warm, fuzzy blanket. And you just want to hang on to it. And you're like, but here's the thing. The minute who's calling me, it better not be Jessica. Cause she knows I'm live anyway. But even

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Your, your

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Secrets, like when you hang on to them like that, you don't give God the opportunity to

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Use it. Your secrets

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Or part of your testimony. You can't heal until you release it. Your trauma, your pain, your, your confusion, whatever's going on. And here's the thing. If you're worried that people are going to judge you because of it, guess what they're judging anyway, one of the hardest things, and I know a lot of you already know this, but one of the scariest things in my life to ever talk about was one getting HIV. And I didn't get HIV from eating Cheerios. It was so hard. I was, it was so scary to talk about two of the six times that had been in jail.

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The fact that I was, I couldn't hide from the fact that one of the arrests was getting arrested with the prostitute because well, you know, that was made national news somehow. But like a lot of these secrets that I held on to worried about what people thought about me ended up being my gift to the world. It ended up being the very thing that elevated my purpose.

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Hi, Kira, here's the proof. Okay.

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I got to do an interview in Africa, South Africa, to be exact, no, hold on. I'm lying. Do you K, but it got broadcast into South Africa and it was living positively with HIV. No pun intended. Cause you know, HIV positive. Anyway, I got to share how I'm living my best life. Even though I have HIV. And a lot of people still don't get it. B a lot of people still don't understand that you can become undetectable. The medications really, really powerful. Now you can live this healthy, great life. Like in fact, you're more likely to die from like Alzheimer's or some like a car crash or cancer than you are HIV.

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HIV is not killing anybody. In fact, to be honest with you, it's probably worse to have herpes than it is HIV right now. That's just the truth. But you know, a lot of people don't understand that, but especially in countries like Africa, I, because I shared my testimony and I got comfortable with the fact that I can say HIV while basically it doesn't, I'm not a victim to it. It doesn't hold me down. Does it hold me back? I'm free from it. I released it a long time ago and it's been amazing to watch God use it. Here's why I share my testimony on this show that goes to Africa, a woman in Nigeria, watches that interview, that woman is now providing me with an opportunity to be able to go make my dream come true with, for the voiceless, the youth program that lived mana ministries, Jessica and I created to be able to teach the youth, all things, media, the marketing, the branding, the broadcasting, how to get your music out there to get your, your, if you want to create a TV show or a radio show, or you want to invent a product and how to get it out and distribute it around the world.

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This program, like I know

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Get to speak in front of thousands of kids

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In Africa, even a couple of hundred show up like there's thousands of kids in this program.

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And now I get to speak and share my testimony, but also share about the program. And now it's lined up for me to get, to go to Africa, to, to teach, to do what I was called to do. And my testimony is what got me there. And I'm not bragging.

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It's

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Not, this is not about bragging. This is not about showing off. It's showing up God, this is what God does. When you share your testimony, you give God an opportunity to use it for something way bigger than you can imagine. The very thing I'm still on this from Graham Cooke, the very thing that the devil set out to kill you

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With when

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You share your testimony and you start to see the process of healing, that gets to be your revenge on the enemy. God gets to use it to fuel and elevate your purpose

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Because you're

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Not a prisoner to your secrets. You're not a prisoner to your testimony. And that is the victory of sharing your testimony. And again, I want to go back to the statement like a girl came on my show and she's a friend of mine. When I was at war to God church in Oklahoma, she shared this

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Crazy insane testimony, insane. Like

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I think my testimony is crazy. Hers is

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Nuts. People were doing drugs and watching it. And guess what?

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The seed has been planted. God is starting to work. They didn't understand that Jesus was really like that.

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Like how many Christians, how many Christians

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Or withholding parts of their testimony, how many Christians are held back and they're not living the life that they're supposed to live. And they're stuck in miserable jobs and all of that.

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Why? Because they're hanging

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Onto something that God wants to use. Dadgummit. I think I knew new comment. I mean, new a new content, because I feel like I'm repeating this over and over, but I don't think people are getting it. Here's another thing too. And again, I'm not even talking to nonbelievers here, but I here's. Here's a message for non-believers. God has a plan for your life. He has a purpose for your life. All of that pain, all of that anger, all of that resentment. God is his cut something to do with it. He wants to use it, but he can't use it until you give it to them. But there's even believers that are hanging on to stuff they don't need to hang on to

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You. It's it's, it's freedom. It's

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Freedom. And you cannot heal. You cannot be complete. You cannot be all that. God, you can't receive all that God has for you until you release those secrets until you surrender it to him and you can't. And the reason why that works that way is that you can't, unless if you heal all of the wounds of your past, you will never receive all that God has for you. So that means your anger. That means your resentment. That means your bitterness. That means your lies. That means your secrets. That means your cheating. That means your double life.

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And none of it matters because once you surrender it to God and yeah,

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Maybe there's going to be consequences for it. And a lot of people, frankly, are really, really worried about consequences. Guess what? The really in the end,

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Not that bad,

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They suck. They hurt to get through. They do, but it's not going to kill you.

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It's not going to

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Kill you. I lost the right to see my twins. I still can't see them.

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Like I can't like I can't.

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Yeah. Change the fact that I went to jail six times, I can't change the fact that I have a rap sheet longer than 90% of the population. I can't change

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It. Like I can

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Look at all of that. The mess I've made out of my life, three divorces, losing my twins. Like all of that stuff. I can look at all of it. I can look at the HIV. I can look at the, the sexual confusion and the pain that I caused, hating myself, not knowing who I was sexually for so long,

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But guess

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What? God restored my life. And I learned to love myself. And I learned to just go, you know what? God loves me no matter what. And once I really, really accepted that, God loves me for who I am. The healing began because little by little, I started making more loving decisions for myself and the more loving decisions I made for myself in other words, okay, maybe I shouldn't have used that drug. Maybe I shouldn't have used that alcohol. Maybe I should not go abuse myself sexually. Maybe I should not sleep with that person. Maybe I should put that donut away. That's still a weakness by the way. The third,

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The point is this. When I learned the story,

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Loving myself, it didn't happen overnight. But when I learned, I started making more loving decisions. Then I started healing. And as I started healing, God started restoring. God started to understand that I was going to be a good steward. I started reversing my triggers and believe me, I had a lot of triggers. It didn't take much for me to haul off and go off and go, you know what? Screw you and sabotage your relationship and go out and do meth for four days and sleep at 20 people. It didn't like it. That was my life. But God took me from that wreck and that mess. That disgusting mess. You took me from that to now. God restoring my life little by little by little. And I have love in my life because I love myself.

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And you cannot love yourself when you're living a lie. That is just straight up real. This is why your testimony not 98% of it. Not 12% of it, not 50% of it. 100% of your testimony matters. And here's another thing. If you notice and you start looking around the people that are really, really starting to soar right now and are happy, are kingdom people,

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Kingdom,

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People are not worried about what's going on around them. They're not getting caught up in the election because frankly, the election does not affect kingdom people. The election you're the COVID. None of it affects why God created you, your purpose, why you were designed, it's there. And all of this time in isolation. So many of you had was your moment to create and prepare because the groundwork is being laid out for kingdom people to be living the, basically the best life, not just now, but in the future. When the world's going to hell in a hand basket, when there's confusion and there's loss and there's suffering and there's anger.

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When the truth about what's really been going on in the world since basically Jesus was killed, when that truth comes out and it's coming quick, folks it's coming. The truth is going to be so painful for so many people to accept. It's going to be sickening. Guests who is supposed to be there for them. It's the kingdom people. It's the people that love Jesus because you know what? It's really, really, really, really, really, really easy to say, the world needs Jesus right now. You don't even know that half of it yet. What's coming out. What is about to happen in the world is going to cause so much pain and so much agony and so much confusion and anger and resentment.

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There's going to be riots. There's going to be fires. It's going to be hell on earth,

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Earth. This

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Is the time for kingdom people. There's going to be people that need healing and love. And they need you being who God created you to be.

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The world

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Needs, who God created you to be. They need you to be who God created you to be not 98% of it. Not 50% of it. And if you know, you're not being who you were created to be start looking at yourself, start taking that moral inventory. Am I keeping secrets? Am I, am I angry at somebody? Am I holding resentments? Am I bitter? Am I not taking that bold step in faith that I'm called to take? Because single one of you, or do you want to see God work in your life?

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Take a step in faith. You know

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The step I'm talking about too, you know it, you know it, you know it, you know it, you know what you were called to do. You know that little calling that little pool inside your chest, that's pulling you in your, and you keep saying, no, I'm scared. I don't have the money. I don't have this. I don't have that. It's all bull crap, excuses and lies from the devil. You have it inside of you. You have it inside of you. And if anything, you don't know how to do anything else. Start with opening your mouth and sharing what God has done in your life.

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Watch God work.

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The minute you open your mouth to truth. The world becomes this giant magnet for you. The very, very people that need you are going to come out of the woodwork for you. And it starts with your dad gum testimony. And there's too many of you, Christians that are hiding behind Saturday night service, Sunday service, and that pop rock bull crap. You'd like, listen, you're not getting real. You got raise your hand salvation. And like, that's good enough. You're not spending time with the Lord. You're not in the Bible. You're not, you're not feeding your spirit. You're not being what you called to be. You think that getting into heaven's good enough. Okay. If you want to sit on the sidelines and watch hell on earth, take place, go for it.

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I don't care who I make angry right now because the fact is there's too many people that call themselves Christians or say, I believe in God, the Satan believes in God, what the heck is wrong with you? You, God is your creator. You're going to go to those Tony Robbins wannabes are those Tony Robbins. And you're gonna pay for all of those courses. And you're going to do this and that. But why don't you go into the source? Why do you need anyone else's opinion except the person that created you. The answers are inside of you. The answers are inside of you. I've been going to therapy because I'm learning all of these new things, trying to learn all these new things, how to, how to really truly live in soror with multiple personalities.

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And you know, cause I want to learn. I want to understand it. Like now that I really starting to identify this, how do I make it work? So I started seeing a therapist and then, then he says to me yesterday, well, we need to come up with a longterm plan. I'm like for what? Like, I don't want to come back here to you. What do you hear me talk? I got gratitude. Unfiltered. Let's roots for I'm just going to alive. I'll talk about anything like that's therapy. I'm so used to just being honest about what's going on in my life. Guess what? I don't need a therapy. I don't because what is the therapist going to do? They can't give you advice. And the fact is this, how many people actually give you advice you

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Follow.

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Or even if you follow it, you're going to go seek somebody else out. And you're going to get their opinion and take their course and do all this. But how much of it is leading you to the person that created you? Because the person that confirms the truth, what's real is the person that created you and the spirit inside of you is what gives you the answers? Christians, believers, kingdom, people, whatever you call yourself, followers of Christ. It's time to get off the sidelines, man. Like honestly, people need you. And you might as well start today. Getting comfortable sharing your testimony because it gets a lot easier.

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It gets a lot more comfortable, even if you're not a believer and you're on a journey and you're on a journey of trying to improve your life. And it's trying to be like, you know, there's something better for you. I'm telling you, you want to unlock the heavens, start sharing your testimony and what God has done in your life. It hiding is not helping anyone like there's so many of you right now that are hurting for opportunity. You're wanting somebody to just hand it to you. I'm telling you right now. I'm not a prophet. I'm not, I, I'm not those things, but I'm telling you right now.

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I know for a fact that if you just open your mouth and share what God has done for you, it changes everything. I, the very first time, even when it was like half of the truth that I shared, what was going on with me, the universe started to move. People started to come into my life. Now here's the thing, because I wasn't telling the whole truth. It wasn't the right people. It wasn't until I shared the whole testimony that not only did it bring me the right people, but I began to heal and become who God created me to be.

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And I'm calling you Christians out. I, the world is going to need you. They need you. Now. They need your authentic self. And I don't care if you're a preacher. I don't care if you're a prophet. And, and, and, and you, you ha, if you're, if you're not sharing your personal struggles and the things that you're going, you're not gonna reach the people that need it. The most trying to act like you're some mighty prophet with 98.6% accuracy or acting like you, you know, you want to be the biggest church leader in all the world.

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And you're going to hide behind all of your Facebook friends and hide behind that camera. And you're going to sit there and preach the word of God. And that's great.

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But if you

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Can't get real about your personal struggles, no one is going to relate to you. No, one's going to be drawn to you. No one is going to actually sit there and go, Oh my gosh, he understands. And sometimes people just need to know that they understand sometimes, or sometimes people just need to know that you understand what it's like, because how many people sit back in a pulpit and they're just like,

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Yeah. Good message. All right, I'm pumped up. That is an invite you in

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Why we started live mana ministries was to create a community. That's not been like, again, it's about the fellowship. It's about being able to have all of the resources there for them. And I'm not going to go into all of that now. But the whole point is to create a space where people that are, that have strung out on drugs that have secret addictions, which believers, who, who honestly are hiding in their shame. It's people that have, you know, that have prostituted themselves and their drug addicts and their abusers and abused. And they have HIV, or maybe they're sexually confused and they don't understand. They love Jesus, but you know what?

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They start looking at people of the same sex and they go, ah, I'm still checked into that and they don't understand it, but they don't feel welcome in the church. And then they see you outside marching against LGBT, and they see marching outside of abortion clinics and they see judgment and they see anger and they see rage. Guess what? That is not inviting them to know. Jesus.

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The fact is

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I know multiple preachers that weren't me and I'm not a preacher. I'm just somebody that loves Jesus and loves talking about him. But the fact is this, I would battled my sexuality for years. It took learning that I love myself to realize that actually, I don't want that at all. I don't want any of those things that I thought that I wanted, that I told myself, I wanted that I went out and abused drugs for four days and convinced myself in a drunken stupor or drugged out stupor that I needed to do all of these dirty nasty things to be happy. And, and, and like, and be like, no, none of it was true. But the fact is this. If somebody would have came at me with judgment and somebody would have said, you're going to hell.

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I'm like, no, I love Jesus. I worship Jesus. Look, some of you have some things to work through in your brain. Some of you have some healing to do to realize you're not really what you think you are.

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There's some of them,

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You, that, that it's a journey. It's a walk and it's not for other people to judge.

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That's why

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It's, it's a, it's a personal relationship with the Lord. Jesus Christ. That's what they call it. And you go on your own. I call it a hero's, but you go on that. And it's your own healing journey. And you know what? It takes some people longer than others. It took me four and a half years of walking with the Lord to realize that I wasn't bisexual.

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Like no

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One was going to convince me of it. I wrestled myself about it. I Mike and I, and I really, really flirted hard with going back to the lifestyle, doing drugs and having sex with anything that walked. I really did. And that was somebody that loved Jesus. But Jesus, you got to let Jesus work on you. But when you got outside, people judging you and you got outside. People telling you that you're this and that. And you need to do it this way. Guess what? You're not going to really open up to Jesus. The Holy Spirit's there to come.

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But I'm telling you,

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The more you share your testimony, the more you share your truth and you open up, you allow God to start

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The work and move in your life and the world

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I need you. Now, the world needs your testimony. The world needs what God is doing in your life. And guess what? You don't have to be perfect. It's not about being

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Perfect. It's a journey.

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It's your own journey. But you sharing that journey, all odds are there's somebody exactly where you were at

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That, that needs to hear it because

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I'm really struggling with this too. You know what? I really struggle to this day with rage because there's a lot of times that I just want to like rip someone's throat out. And I love Jesus. Like I'm a man of love and I love peace, but there's times like some of these phone calls and comments I get from people. I want to reach the phone and like rip out their Adam's Apple. And if they're a woman, I want to re that Adam's app are ripped out. I want to shove it right up there. But because you know what, they probably deserve it, but that's not the love of Jesus. I'm not perfect. I'm not perfect. I'm working on myself. I'm trying my best. But guess what? I know for a fact, I'm not the only believer who feels right

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Is that way.

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And a reservoir says the world needs to get rid of labels. Yeah. Guess what? Your dad gum, right? Because you are who God says you are. And you know who you are. Start with your name. You're not mentally ill. You're not gay. You're not bisexual. You're your name. And like the minute you accept the fact that God loves you the way you are, you can start healing. God will change your life. You'll change your heart. And the things that you thought you needed and thought you wanted before will slowly go away. But the world needs your testimony. The whole point of all of this is the world needs your testimony right

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Now. Right now,

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Quit hiding. Quit giving 70% of it. The cool stuff, given the cool stuff, give the world your pain,

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Like share it. Get rid of it and watch what God does in your life. I didn't mean to go on this rant.

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I'm fired up. Let's see what comments say today. Hi Jessica. Hi, Marty. Good to see you, man. Wow. Lots of comments. Listen. I'm I'm this all started with me, like coming on here to talk about this technology that I'm working on. And it was completely making an idiot of myself because it wouldn't work right yet. But then I get this amazing message from somebody that who shared her testimony on gratitude, unfiltered, and in a drug den, they were watching it.

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Amazing.

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Your testimony is way more powerful than you think. And you think, Oh, little old me. Here's the thing. Even if your testimony, if you grew up, leave it to Beaver. And you know, and you're like, your biggest sin was like staring at boobs too long or whatever. Like, Oh man, that dude looks good in jeans. Like that's like your greatest sin. Guess what? The world still needs your testimony. And the world needs you to be compassionate for the misfits. Crazy people like me because there's nothing more infuriating than walking into a church. And the whole reason why Jessica and I started live on a ministries is because there are so many people that go into church that feel out of place and they feel like they don't belong.

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And they believe with that feeling. They leave with that feeling that these people don't love me. So God's not going to love me either. And they, and they give up and they say they don't ever turn their life around. Jesus hung out with prostitutes and gangsters. So why is the majority of the church not welcomed that welcoming N do you know that those killers and those prostitutes and those people that battle their sexuality, that the abusers and the abused and, and the mentally ill did, you know that God, once God gets a hold of them, that they become God's superheroes, the greater your pain, the greater your purpose, the more evils you've done in this world, the more beauty and, and, and, and amazing things that God gets to do through you, because all of that evil and all of that destruction and all of that hell that you cause for other people gets to flipped and turned into you.

Joshua T Berglan

00:32:41

Being the brightest, freaking light on the planet. God needs you. God needs your testimony. It doesn't matter how bad, how crazy it's all the same. God needs you. And look, I'm telling you, I'm going to say this again. And then I'm going to shut up because I know how people on Facebook get on and off and not everyone's going to hear it. But I want to emphasize this point again.

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00:33:07

I lost my train of thought.

Joshua T Berglan

00:33:18

The world is the world's hurting, and it's going to be hurting a lot worse. Soon. Everything that has been hidden is coming to light. So that means, yes, your secrets. It's exclusive. It's not exclusive to anybody. You know, what's happening in the world. Like, you know, the human trafficking, the, the, the fraud, the, the, just the evil that's happened in the world. That's all being, it's all going to be exposed. It's all being exposed. It's in the process now, but that's that revelation is not exclusive to that your secrets are also going to be exposed.

Joshua T Berglan

00:34:04

So wouldn't it be better for you just to take the step in faith and allow God to use it. You expose yourself, you share your pain, you share, what's been hurting you. And what's, you've been keeping in the dark so that when you remove it from the dark and allow the light to hit it, you can allow Jesus to work on it and use it for good. But you see, when you allow the enemy to expose it, then they get to twist it and manipulate it and weaponize it to cause even more destruction. Do you feel me?

Joshua T Berglan

00:34:43

That's when you set yourself up for having the opportunity to be blackmail or hurt, and again, secrets can be weaponized, but when you share your secrets, when you share your hidden pain, you give God the opportunity to use it for something good. Are there consequences? Yes, there are consequences. But the sooner you confess, the sooner you repent, the better it is for you and also for the world, because the world needs it. There are so many pastors out there with hidden shame, hidden secrets, hidden, hidden things that they haven't been able to, to, to break through yet.

Joshua T Berglan

00:35:26

They haven't gotten the deliverance from it yet. And you know, they hide behind that and they sit behind the pulpit like they're high and mighty and it's and it's, and I get it. I get it. It'd be a hard thing, not to have an ego with that. It really would, but how much more empowering is it to have somebody that confesses their struggle? That to me is a leader that to me, as a leader, and frankly, it's a lot more welcoming and inviting, and that's what the church needs to be.

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