I am George Floyd. I am Ahmaud Arbery. I am Trayvon Martin. And my life doesn’t matter in America.

“I am George Floyd. I am Ahmaud Arbery. I am Trayvon Martin. And my life doesn’t matter in America.” 

Let that sink in. The list goes on and on and on in this racist divided country we are currently living in. And if this racism continues, this is what I can only imagine my son one day thinking and feeling as he learns about the unfortunate truth of what it means to be black in America. 

I’m not black and my husband isn’t black, but our 2 year old adopted son is black. In the process of adoption we spent training hours studying about interracial adoption and the kinds interactions we might encounter. We learned how to address interracial adoption questions, but we didn’t explicitly learn how to teach our future child about being black in America. Even so, we knew that part of our responsibility would be to teach these hard truths to our son. 

I consider myself highly privileged. I never once had to think of being accused of stealing at a store, getting wrongfully pulled over for driving in an affluent white neighborhood, or questioned for taking a walk or run in a neighborhood with my hoodie on. Plain and simple, I’m privileged. Our black brothers and sisters however don’t have this same privilege. 

After the George Floyd murder, I have been trying to collect my thoughts and feelings. George Floyd’s family and friends along with the black community are mourning. Murder after murder of individuals in the black community, my mind immediately goes to the mothers of these black men and women. How do you come back as a mother from losing a child like this? You try your whole life to protect your children and you trust and pray that they will be safe and okay when they leave your home. I can only hope that I never have to experience this. I know I can’t walk hand in hand with my son forever so equipping him and teaching him these hard truths is all my husband and I can do as parents to protect him.

There are no words I can say that will help the black community heal, but I know we have a responsibility to take action. Silence is saying racism and police brutality is okay. Silence would be telling my son that his life doesn’t matter enough. Don’t be silent. Please, for our black friends, colleagues, and the rest of the black community take a stand. These are not my unique ideas but, here are a few to help get you started: 

1. Start a dialogue - Don’t just talk about this situation with people in the black community. They already know what is going on, and they are tired of explaining and trying to fix the problem. Ask your non-black friends, family and colleagues how they feel about the situation. Ask them what they think their role is in denouncing racism in America. 
2. Check on your black friends and colleagues - They are hurting. They are tired. They are overwhelmed. They are feeling deflated and they need our support. Even just to say you are thinking of them that can make all the difference to them in that moment. They might not respond back so just be okay with that.
3. Sign a petition to help create change - There are many out there, but here is one if you don’t know where to start: https://www.change.org 
4. Educate yourself and listen - I don’t claim to be an expert in the history of black injustice. I myself am learning / researching and trying to just listen to my black friends, colleagues, and network about their struggles. If you are a data driven person, take a look at https://www.joincampaignzero.org and you will be saddened and outraged at the inequality. We are failing. This organization uses data to identify and advance effective solutions to end police violence in America.
5. Donate to Black Lives Matter: Main donation page found here.
6. Talk with your children about racism: Here are some tips from CNN's Van Jones.
7. Use your voting power: Find out who your local politicians are, and ask them one simple question: "What is your policy on ending police brutality?"

I speak out for my son and the black community he is from. Whatever you do, just don’t be silent. We can continue to be better. Thank you for the support.

#blacklivesmatter #georgefloyd #ahmaudarbery

Past posts of mine related to racism in America:

I run with Ahmaud. Parenting is a privilege and responsibility.

Adoption, Racism, and Our Responsibility.