I Am Fed Up With My Marriage (What To Do When You Are Fed Up With Your Spouse)

I am fed up with my marriage - What to do when you are fed up with your spouse.

No couple starts married life thinking that they will eventually breakup. Divorce for many people means that they have failed, and it still signals to society in general, that a divorced person was not able to make their marriage work; that there was some failing on their part. There are new statistics available that indicate if a couple has marriage issues and they refuse to consider divorce then they tend to be able to resolve their issues and build a stronger marriage as a result. So there is evidence that for couples who don't want divorce, don't consider it is a good rule of thumb.

Divorcing your spouse is painful and requires a great deal of effort and time and should always be an absolute last resort. Of course, there are always exceptions, such as physical violence and abuse that should never be tolerated in any relationship. It is important then, to explore alternatives to resolving the issues between you, through open and honest communication either together or with the help of marriage counseling.

Everyone will want to give you advice when they sense you are having marriage trouble, which may not be that helpful. Others do not fully understand the issues and will always see things from their perspective and offer advice slanted that way. They may see divorce as the best option and in fact, the reverse may be true, and getting a divorce may actually make things much worse. As much as you love your family and friends remember this is your marriage and as such the two of you need to decide how you deal with it.

About 80 percent of couples who once thought of getting a divorce but didn't, have been found to be still married quite happily some years on. So how did this come about? Some couples faced with the prospect of divorcing decide instead to focus on the issues in their marriage and find effective solutions to resolve them. Not only did they admit and identify their problems but they made the effort to save their marriage by focusing on finding a solution that worked for both of them.

While some couples considering divorce can see it as a challenge to fix, for others it becomes an option that becomes increasingly more appealing. Unfortunately in this case when divorce becomes an attractive option, other alternatives are then overlooked or not even considered. All the couple is thinking about is to get away from each other and moving on to another relationship that is easier, with no problems.

In situations where couples do not consider divorce, they are more likely to have a successful and happier marriage. They focus not on the easy way out, but on resolving their issues by identifying the underlying causes of their problems and working together to implement solutions that work for both of them. It does not seem like the easy way but it certainly gives them a happier outcome, building strength into their relationship and helping them grow as individuals. Divorce is not the easy option it appears to be, as any issues not faced and dealt with in the ended relationship will only resurface later, still needing resolution, with the potential to cripple any future relationship.

Even though couples can be different as individuals, they become a team as a married couple. When they work together to resolve those differences and keep divorce off the table, they can build stronger bonds and a happier future together. They can use their differences and learn how to complement each other.

Making your marriage better, is a better option than giving up on each other. Together you work to develop good communication and listening skills and do what you need to do in order to save your marriage. When you both agree and say "don't want divorce, don't consider it " and the word "divorce" is excluded from your thoughts and vocabulary, you frame your mind to find positive solutions when problems come your way. You then set yourselves up to work together as a team with a mission - building a strong happy loving marriage.

How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps

If you truly want to save your marriage, the first step is actually realizing that there is a problem. Sounds simple, but for most couples, admitting there is a problem is a hard thing to do. Nobody wants to feel like a failure. And admitting that your marriage is not as perfect as you would like it to be can be a hard pill to swallow. But you must swallow it and be honest about your situation if you ever want it to change.

Truth be told, most people who say "I Do" have no idea what they are getting into. We all think we will have that fairytale marriage but when reality sets in, we realize there is no such thing. So we learn as we go and we make a ton of mistakes. Don't worry, you are not alone. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage, but you can come close when you know these 3 simple steps.

Step #1 - Stop Looking At Every Problem On A Case By Case Basis

You can't go into the details of every problem that you have. Couples that do this usually never get to the root of the problem. They just dance around it. If you want to save your marriage you will have to be willing to deal with the big issues. The issues that keep coming up over and over again. So what is the real problem in your marriage? Are you feeling unappreciated? Do you feel like your feelings don't matter? Do you wish you and your spouse had more sex? Get to the root of the problem and you will be able to start the process of saving your marriage.

Step #2 - Examine Your Beliefs About Marriage

We all have our own beliefs about what a marriage should and shouldn't be. Sometimes those beliefs can get in the way of us having a fulfilling marriage. For example, it might be your belief that the wife should always cook. If your wife doesn't feel that way it can cause major problems. So take the time to examine your beliefs and then talk to your spouse. Sometimes there will be a need for compromise. And if you really want to save your marriage, you will be willing to compromise on some things.

Step #3 - Understand That Men And Women Are Different

When it comes to saving your marriage, it is important to acknowledge that men and women are different and each has different role in the relationship. Just because your spouse doesn't see something the way you do doesn't mean they are wrong. Men and Women can view the exact same thing totally different. For example, there is a commercial where the daughter comes home and tells her parents she got into one of the top colleges in the nation. The mom hears exactly what the daughter says and starts to celebrate with her. The dad on the other hand ears that his daughter got into one of the most expensive schools. The only thing on his mind is the money.

That's the way men think. They are always trying to make sure they can take care of everything. They are very task oriented. I used that example to say that even though they both approached the situation totally different, through compromise they can come to a common place of understanding. So instead of getting upset with your spouse because they don't see something the way you do, embrace those differences and learn how to meet each other half way.

It's all up to you! If you don't take this action to save your marriage, then who will?

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50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You can save your marriage with powerful techniques that will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save your marriage today by visiting Keys To A Successful Marriage