I am an executive; I am a human being; and it is okay to grieve!

I would like to share with you an experience that I went through a couple of days ago and openly discuss how I am feeling about it in a corporate context. I will do so from the standpoint of my responsibility as the executive chairman of a company without diminishing the importance of the fact that I found myself all of sudden the patriarch of my family.?

Evidently, readers could be questioning why I am doing so and the true motives behind this post.

My First Motive

Well, in all honesty, writing about it will make me feel better!

Beyond my selfish behavior of getting some steam out of my system and slightly attenuating the emotional and psychological state that I am in, I need to emphatically state that in this post, I am adhering to the rules I am accustomed to of LinkedIn where business issues are mostly discussed and expressed despite the fact that – at the peripheral -??it looks like my message is about a personal incident that I want to simply share[1].

Truly, as someone responsible for a group of people at work, it is primarily my obligation to lead my colleagues whilst adhering to a style that embraces virtue and spirituality. In the company I proudly lead, we are all focused on a common vision, believing in it and ardently working towards its realization. Gazing towards the fulfillment of the triple bottom line, all layers of the organization believe in a better tomorrow whilst tandemly in an orchestrated manner, they perform in such a way where customer delight is at the epicenter of their raison d’être. Mimicking the leadership and the senior management in their embracement of ethics and adherence to professionalism, everyone in the organization is put in an attuned state of cohesive work, and altruistic reciprocity.

Alright! Having said all of that, I would like to loudly say that this man who is leading as stated above is still a human being who is allowed to grieve.

Peacefully, smoothly and without causing any stir around him, my father – finally - joined my mother and my younger brother. I said finally because ever since they both moved on in 2016, a month apart, he was constantly longing to join them, especially my mother, his soulmate, his world, and life’s compass.

My Second Motive?

As I am navigating through my distress, I would like to recall few of my father’s words spoken to me many times and share them with the readers. I believe anyone at a stage of their life could be found in a similar state of being and mind. My purpose here is to loudly assert that it is okay to feel the pain, recollect the past while embracing the moment whilst going on with one’s life. However, in my case, I should be reminded not let myself drown in an abyss of melancholy and as such overlook my corporate and familial responsibilities.

Oftentimes my father said:

“When you are responsible for people, if you are sad or grieving don’t let it impact them.”

“When you are responsible for people, it is needed to be aware of your feelings, but remember son, your feelings are your own and the people you are responsible for are neither obligated to understand you nor to approve any feelings of sympathy towards you. Don’t judge them on that; and if they do approve and sympathize, it is a blessing that you ought to embrace and be thankful for.”

“When you are responsible for people, if you are happy let them see your happiness.”

“When you are responsible for people, serve them with love and humility.”

“When you are responsible for people, be kind to them and act with altruism.”

“When you are responsible for people, be considerate and appreciate their status.”

“When you are responsible for people, share with them your knowledge and learn from them.”

“When you are responsible for people, consult with them in matters where you need assistance.”

“When you are responsible for people, show them how much you care about and for them.”

“When you are responsible for people, ensure that their well-being is important to you.”

“When you are responsible for people, act at all times responsibly and never follow your whims.”

After the demise of my mother and brother, I recall my many conversations with my father (May God bless their souls) when he stressed that it was okay to mourn; but it was not okay to slip and linger around in a pit of self-pity and seek everyone’s attention for consoling.

To conclude, I wish everyone who will read my post all the best. And please live one life, the corporate and the private are two facets of one coin, no need for any Sunday-Monday disconnect.

And this is the subject matter of another post…

Moustapha

[1]?As a side note, LinkedIn is my only form of presence on social media!