“I am definitely not a feminist” - Why the term ‘feminism’ needs an urgent makeover

About a year ago, one of my best friends and I had a conversation about feminism. Kate argued that she was “definitely not a feminist”. I was shocked. How could one of the most confident and independent women I know - in my eyes, the epitome of a feminist - not identify herself as one? If not her, who is a feminist then?

In my view, feminism is about achieving social, political and economic equality of the sexes. After all, the Oxford Dictionary stipulates that feminism is “The advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes”. Kate was of the opinion that feminism was more than that, though, and thereby counterproductive in the fight for equality. She said: “I would rather consider myself an equalist. The word ‘feminist’ has a negative connotation.” I was interested to find out more and did some research.

Various surveys show that many people in the Western world do not call themselves feminists. Fewer than one in five young women in the US and the UK identify as a feminist. A 2018 YouGov poll found that 40% of men and women in Sweden, 33% in France, 27% in the UK and only 8% in my home country Germany responded with ‘yes’ when asked whether they were feminists. 

These results come as a surprise to me given that the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of equality of the sexes has been in the spotlight in recent years. Feminist movements like #MeToo or the 2017 Women’s March have attracted significant attention in Europe and North America while renowned actresses like Emma Watson or Jameela Jamil launched successful equality campaigns. So, if feminism has achieved mainstream attention, why is the identity “feminist” so unpopular?

Interestingly, the above-quoted study also found that 8 out of 10 people said men and women should be treated equally in every way. It hence appears that relatively few people, including young women, identify as feminists whereas the majority of people believe in and support gender equality. That bears the question of why (wo)men do not want to be affiliated with the term feminist while feminism seeks to bring about gender equality, which seems to be a widely shared value.

My personal impression is that the term feminism is associated with many stereotypes and misconceptions. It provokes unease, bewilderment or overt hostility. When I started out with Here She Is three years ago, a podcast featuring inspiring diversity leaders, and thereby publicly shared my “feminist views”, I was confronted with reactions that implied I was exactly that, an “angry anti-man woman”. Apparently, to some readers, being a feminine man-lover and being a feminist, was not compatible.

In her book “Feminists don’t wear pink and other lies”, Scarlett Curtis refers to the stereotype of feminists not wearing make-up, not shaving their legs or being lesbian. Author Christina Scharff also found that many people often typify feminists as “shouty” and ‘‘aggressive man-haters” that lack femininity. A peer of mine - interestingly, just like Kate, the epitome of a feminist, in my view - recently argued that feminists are women that ask for more than equality i.e. positive discrimination and preferential treatment. By doing so, they provoke unnecessary reactions of people that reflect badly on feminism. No wonder women prefer to distance themselves from the term "feminist". Nobody wants to be associated with these traits and is hence likely to repudiate feminism as long as it has negative connotations.

So, how can the image of feminism be improved? Because, regardless of whether you call yourself an equality-fighter, humanist or feminist, we all have the same objective in mind i.e. social, political and economic equality of the sexes.

To me, it all boils down to stereotypes and biases and the fact that that competence and likability are traits that don’t go together for women but men only. Most of us don’t find strong and competent women as easy to like as strong and competent men. I admit that even I found myself questioning the likeability of Hilary Clinton at some point. In our society, women are usually penalized for behaving differently than society expects them to be. I encourage everyone to challenge narrowly defined expectations of how women should act, behave, and look. Perhaps it would help to make the feminist movement more inclusive by telling the stories of a diverse group of women. While the women of this world and their concept of femininity are diverse, the equality we ultimately seek is the same. We just choose different paths to achieve this goal and as a consequence, various types of feminists exist, just like Kate and me. In the end, "feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength." (G.D. Anderson) 

After completing my research, I managed to convince Kate and we both concluded that we are all of the above: feminists, equalists, and women who have unleashed today.

Want to learn more about Kate and me? Then visit Unleash Today and subscribe to get notifications about our upcoming book, which will be published in 2020. We share personal stories, tips, and advice on how to succeed as a young and ambitious woman in the workplace.