I Am Conflicted. My Inner Voice is not.

I am conflicted.??

On one side is the "proactive business leadership" me, who believes in business' role in building and strengthening and our world, including finding ways to bring people into conversation, leading by example, and supporting growth and empowerment.??This me sees the cup brimming with opportunity, and is a strong advocate for commonality and empathy and understanding that business can influence conversations in ways governments cannot, and/or should not.??

On the other side is the "personal, anxious" me who is freaking out by all that is tearing apart our world, our country, our communities, and our families.??This me is worried about everything and sees the glass not only half empty, but cracked. This me sees history repeating itself but in an age where it is all instantaneous and feels "bigger". This me remembers back to when I was a kid:

• When I was a kid we had nuclear drills, and today we are talking about nuclear war in Europe.??
• When I was a kid, I didn’t feel I could be honest about my sexuality because at that time it wasn’t societally ok, and today enemy #1 for a vocal sector are Trans youth and their supporters - or quite frankly LGBTQ+ supporters in general.
• When I was a kid, racial tensions and scapegoating were a big issue in my community, and for many communities today it's just the same, if not worse.
• When I was a kid, we were facing a recession and a great darkening of mood globally, and today … well … we all know our world today.
• (UPDATED 5/25/22) And when I was a kid, "mass" shootings were not a weekly occurrence in this country, and over the past week we've seen horrific shootings at a predominantly Black grocery store in Buffalo, a predominantly Asian church in Orange County, and a predominantly Hispanic elementary school in Uvalde, Texas.

The conflict stems from the half full/half empty conundrum. How does one bridge the gap between these conflicting selves in a world that can appear (OK, it does to me at least) like it’s truly falling into profit vs. people camps? How do you keep positive and proactive and fight for what you believe in when people either want business to be neutral or are tired of activism?

First and foremost: be honest about your feelings.??We all suffer from the malaise of social media filters: the idea that we must look and act like we always have our shit together, which also means we mask our authenticity as businesses and people. On the personal level: while I'm here freaking out about Ukraine, others seem to be thriving in all aspects of their lives.??While I’m stressed out about the world my son will inherit, others are talking about the great event they went to last night and taking pictures of the incredible food they ate.??While I love that you had a wonderful night out and that you have your life seemingly in check, I also appreciate that you might not.??Personally, I'd rather not compare my life to those of people who seem challenge-free.??Truth be told, if we could focus more on truly seeing each other for the hurt and concerns we have, we might be able to empathize more.??

Second: be willing to lead by example rather than waiting for someone to lead for you.??It’s not just about taking action; it’s about having ownership.??Yes, I cannot stop the war in Ukraine, nor can I stop the hatred and scapegoating of races, religions, sexuality, et.al., nor can I alter the debate on guns. ?But I can/my business can speak truth and demonstrate what it means to lead in my own world.??I can/my business can stand up for the things that mean something, and support those that are fighting the good fight. I can/my business can align with other businesses that are doing good and stop working with those I believe cause harm. I can/my business can do my/our part to tear down the boxes that divide us.

I will look for the positive in all. I will support the opportunity to come together and see each other. And I will stand up for what is right.

Third: support your inner, vulnerable voice. If you worry that others look down at you because you are messy - when they (seemingly) have their lives together - know that (a) they do not, and (b) it doesn’t matter what others think of you. Being vulnerable isn't a weakness. My grandfather was a gold-star WWII battlefield engineer, and he taught us that real leaders are willing to show vulnerability. He spent a lifetime being a giant in my eyes because he listened not to what others were saying as much as he listened to his inner voice (aka: his moral compass). We spend way too much energy on what others feel and filtering ourselves. Mistakes are messy, life is messy, enjoy and be proud of some mess and trust that voice that drives you to look for ways to come together.

And fourth: know the difference between bitching and changing.??Complaining about people and events happening to you is just that, complaining.??Standing up for others, engaging in conversation, and looking for solution is a superpower.??“Be the change you want to see in the world” isn’t just a cool bumper sticker; it is the truth and something we need today more than ever - both personally and as business leaders.

I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples. - Mother Teresa

So back to my conflict

I'm at a crossroads in my professional/personal growth. I feel a calling to do more to solve the challenges that are weighing down our world. But I also love what I do and am very good at it! I thrive in helping brands rethink the meaning and opportunity of content. How do I do both as a job? How do I make money for my company and my clients, while also being part of this great debate about our world – to be a voice and a teller of stories (mine and others) that might just bring people together in dialogue???At 53 this isn’t easy: I’m too old to be considered for some roles, too diversified (or non-specialized) to be considered for others, and too “Patrick” (aka: outspoken) to be considered for a few.??I need to be OK with that. Taking the steps I outline above isn't easy. It’s the Universe's way of reminding me that my passions and my abilities are needed somewhere else.??

This time of fear, uncertainty, and conflict is giving me (my inner voice) permission to truly think through the what’s and whys of my life in terms of what gives me everything from purpose to anxiety, and how those things can help others.??I am excited I get to do my day job which a do really love AND think about what my next chapter of service might be. Our world is hurting, it will eventually affect every single person. Are you willing to help past what you do now? Are you willing to go outside your comfort zone to be part of the change our world needs?

And that is the true message of this post: to remind you that if you are also conflicted what drives you isn’t negative not something you need to shelve, nor is your vulnerability a bad thing. Whatever the conflict you feel is not just normal, it's a not-so-subtle reminder that there is a need for you to fill. Human beings are nomadic and ever-striving - this means you too. Be it via your work, or your volunteerism, or your school, or your apartment building, finding a way to turn that conflicting feeling into action is a powerful opportunity. One that means you can be vulnerable, listen, learn, and lean into change.

Our world needs vulnerability to find a way to heal all that increasingly divides.??The machismo that manifests autocrats and oligarchs and social media bullies is not new.??But today, we truly are at a crossroads, and I hope that in this time of conflict – both external and internal – we can find a bit more humanity by just being honest with each other.? That is the first step towards the 'next'.

One more quote to close us out:

I am going to change the world, and I'm talking to everybody in the possible world that I can get to that can help me to do that. - Abby Wambach

As I say frequently in this section of articles: if you are not sure where to start your journey out of conflict, please feel free to reach out.??Like Abby says - "I'm taking to everybody in the possible world." The more we can be there for each other the more chance we have to find like-minded persons to collaborate with.??Who knows how that small group of thoughtful people will indeed change at least how we strive to help the world!

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Patrick Jager is CEO of strategic content and business advisory firm?CORE Innovation Group?and an award winning creative and thought leader in media,?communications, and business development.