I am a Cancer Survivor

I am a Cancer Survivor.

That is the weirdest sentence I have ever written! Because I do not feel like I survived really anything. Let me share the rapid chain of events that has pre-occupied me and those around me for the last 5 months.

It started on the Thursday before Memorial Day. My company was hosting a networking event at Carrols Creek Café in Annapolis for the Blue Angels practice day over Annapolis. It was a great event and a beautiful day.? I got a little sunburned on my head. After my head peeled a bit in the following week a small bump rose up on the very top of my head.

Megan had already scheduled me a dermatologist appointment for my annual check, which to be frank, I really did not think was necessary. While the Dr. was looking at my back, I asked her if she could lance/pop/remove what I thought was a small cyst on the top of my head. I watch a lot of Dr. Pimple Popper and was looking forward to seeing it pop! That is when my life took an abrupt turn, as she told me that the bump was not a cyst, but “something else” and she wanted to take a sample and have it biopsied.

I really did not think anything about it until about a week later she called me to inform me that the biopsy revealed that the bump was actually a ‘Merkle cell melanoma with Spindel cell evidence’s, “Mr. Lenear you have skin cancer.” She told me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. But I felt fine! Nothing hurt, I was not sick, I had not gained or lost weight, my stomach was not upset, hell my head dint even hurt.

My Cancer journey was really very quick. From the biopsy in June, getting the diagnosis a week later, the Dermatologist went ahead and scheduled consults with a Surgical Oncologist and Plastic Surgeon, they also scheduled me for a Pet scan. July and August were a flurry of Dr. s appointments, scans, and unfortunately me reading up on those terms online. Piece of advice NEVER Google any medical diagnosis! There is nothing but worst-case scenarios and horror stories out there. The only thing I learned that was fun or interesting was that I had the same cancer that killed Jimmy Buffett. Jacob took the opportunity with that factoid to tell me that this was taking my fandom of Jimmy Buffett to far!

The week after Labor Day I had my surgery, the surgeon removed a 2+ inch square from my scalp, taking all layers down to my skull and then shaved a millimeter or two from my skull. The plastic surgeon then closed this big hole in my head, basically giving me a brow lift in the process. Finally closing it all up with 43 staples that ran from ear to ear across the top of my head. Post surgery sucked. I had a full head compression bandage that was so tight I had a headache for the entirety of the ten days it was on. They installed ‘French drain’ along the incision to drain out stuff. Megan had to help me empty the bulb that caught the drainage, which was gross. But I gotta say she was great during all of this; she took excellent care of me.

Results of the biopsies of the deeper dermis, skull shavings, and margin edges showed that the surgeon got it all. I am now cancer free. I will not have to do radiation or chemo. Moving forward I will need to get a Pet Scan every 6 months for the rest of my life but that’s it.

A week ago, today they removed my staples. My cancer journey began at that networking event by getting sunburned and ended with the removal of the staples in my head on October 3rd. Less than 5 months overall. And I am fine, really other than my own thoughts about this it was all pretty easy. And that is part of the problem, hell that is the entire problem. I have known many folks who have had cancer, many who survived, some who did not, and all had a much more difficult time than I have. I feel guilty that I did not have symptoms, that I did not get sick, that in the end I am ok when so many others aren’t. My only lasting issues are purely psychological, the guilt of this all being so easy, not knowing how to express my gratitude for all that those who knew about what I was dealing with did to help and support me. I guess that is why I am writing this, to express and contextualize these feelings.

I am posting this here because I want my friends and acquaintances to take away that this can and does happen to anyone. Goto the Dermatologist!!!? Get those moles checked, get any growths examined. Don’t wait until you notice things getting worse, nip it in the bud.

Each of my Doctors told me that the positive outcomes I experienced was solely due to the fact that I saw the dermatologist so early in the tumors growth and was able to start this process so quickly. ??So, if you take anything away from this little essay it is get to the Doctor and get yourself checked for anything that is unusual. Once again, I need to thank Megan for insisting that I go to the Doctor and setting the appointment for me. Man, wives are great!!! At least mine is.