I am the boss: Taking the Ego Out of the Leadership Equation

Till the late 2000s, the persona of corporate leaders across the spectrum ubiquitously comprised of a few uniformly defining characteristics – a brooding, demanding person, mostly a man, who had little time and no care for whatever it was that the minions beneath him had going on in their lives. He was a tenacious and tough alpha male who barely budged from his decisions and inspired, more than anything, fear in his employees. Fast-forward a little, and this image shifted to the cool-guy character who was a tech-whiz before anything else and whose main job was innovation and creating a spectacle.

Both these archetypes, though situated on opposite ends of the spectrum, had one thing in common – they existed in a sort of vacuum, untouched by what happened below the c-level suites and unconcerned by anything that did not directly involve their functions.

Both of these ways of ‘leading’ were completely cut off from the day-to-day ground realities of their operations and had a solipsistic focus that relied heavily on ego inflation and a consequently narrowed field of vision.

Why is the boss so high and mighty?

Research from the Corporate Executive Board (CEB)?estimates ?that 50% to 70% of executives fail within 18 months of taking on a role, irrespective of whether they were an external hire or promoted from within.?One of the biggest reasons for this incongruity is that new leaders are ill-equipped to handle change, manage their egos, and control the power they have without faltering themselves.?

But the boss is a boss for a reason. Employees become leaders often after they have invested a considerable amount of time and work to climb the ladder of success. They reach the positions they do because they have the qualifications and experience to have them.?

Even so, new leaders have a tendency to get puffed up about their success. The bigger salary, the larger office, and the many perks, are often accompanied by a fawning sycophancy displayed by the subordinates in the form of easy laughs or a yes-sir attitude. It’s easy to mistake this submission to authority as the sign of a powerful and efficient leadership.?

But it isn’t. All it does it stroke the ego.

What’s so wrong with having an ego?

Nothing. In fact, having an ego is a necessity. It serves as a bridge between the unconscious and the conscious. Without it, you’d be out at the sea of your personality unable to balance the boat from tipping either over the side of insecurities or the side of overconfidence.?

And this is where the trick lies for new leaders. An unsteady ego swaying over to one side can distort our perspective and contort our values. It gets in the way of effective leadership and the hard decision-making that comes with it.?

Cy Wakeman characterizes the ego in her book "No Ego" as an "unreliable narrator" of your reality who enjoys the drama it creates. When left without reins, this unreliable narrator can affect several aspects of a good leadership:

• Hamper rational decision-making

Since the inflated ego needs and almost craves positive attention, it makes us vulnerable to manipulation. We become predictable as a result. A chess game already played out even before you move the first pawn. The ego’s desire to be viewed as great, as larger than life, tempts us into making decisions that may be potentially harmful to ourselves, our people, and our business.

• Condone Irresponsible Behaviour

Our behaviour also comes to be tainted by an inflated ego. We think it’s alright?to be crueller, self-absorbed, and to disrupt others when we assume we deserve to be praised and appreciated, come hell or high waters. Rather than take one for the team or handle criticism like feedback, our inflated ego hinders us from learning from our missteps.?

• Limit our perspective

Ultimately, an inflated ego distorts our perception. As the ego is always on the lookout for evidence to back up what it already believes, it causes us to have a significant confirmation bias. We lose perspective and find ourselves trapped in a leadership vacuum where we only see and hear what we want to see and hear. Not surprisingly, we lose touch with the people we lead, the culture we occupy, and, eventually, our clients and stakeholders.

Managing the ego for a balanced leadership approach

So how do you keep the boat steady when the tide of success hits with all it has to offer??

It can be difficult to break free from an overly protective or inflated ego and dodge the leadership vacuum. At the very least, it entails having a solid sense of empathy, compassion, and self-awareness, along with a steadfast resolve.?

Here are a few pointers to get you started:

1. Take only the essentials

A lot of rewards and benefits come with a leadership position. Some of them are meant to help you accomplish your job more efficiently. However, some are merely for fluff. They are designed to boost your prestige, status, and, inevitably, ego. To give you that aura of an important leader. To stay in touch with your roots, therefore, consider which of these superfluous perks you can forgo. It could be a designated parking spot, a unique elevator pass, or even a bigger office. If you feel like you don’t need it, just let it go.

2. Send a clear message to employees

Support, cultivate, and collaborate with people who have no inclinations for blowing up your ego. Discourage yes- sir attitudes and encourage valuable insights that come from well-informed employees who aren't afraid to speak up and, if need be, speak against.

3. Empower the team

Employees who do not feel appreciated at work are 34 percent more likely to leave their businesses, according to the 2019 Employee Engagement Report by OC Tanner Research. And 79 percent of those who did quit said it was because of a "lack of appreciation." Successful leadership is only possible when there’s a team to lead and empower. Nothing would get done if the leader alone spent an entire day at work. So, make it a practice to remind yourself that at the end of every project and venture. Keep an attitude of gratitude in your interactions with employees and recognize and appreciate their contributions.?

Effective leaders don’t need to get rid of their egos completely. Their egos are what give them confidence and help them make balanced choices with regard to both their careers and the organization’s growth. However, an inflated ego can put a blindfold on effective leadership and lead executives down the rabbit hole of narcissism, which is ultimately detrimental to all agents and stakeholders involved with the company. That is why it is best to be aware of your conduct as a new leader at all times and take relevant steps to nip the ego problem in the bud.