I am not angry, I am disappointed

That's a lie. I'm both. I went to the Feminist Roast at the ‘All About Women Event’ at Sydney’s Opera House. I too have a bone to pick with feminism so I bought a ticket. But the roast fell short of my beef with feminism.

On Saturday night I sat on the end of my seat at a sold out event gagging to hear what 4 talented women argue the shortcomings of feminism—how it has evolved, the damage it has caused to some people, where it’s work just hasn’t been enough for women, especially to Black people or the voting in of Donald Trump.

There was a small mention of what this movement has done for us, and rightly so, the right to vote, education and WAY more top-dog career opportunities for women than ever before.

But one thing this event completely failed to mention—and this felt symbolic —was the effect feminism has had on the experience of motherhood.?

With no mention of the motherhood penalty, and all the prejudice and discrimination women face as mothers, I am sad to see that Mothers have once again been sidelined in main feminist discourse.?

My own disenchantment with feminism began when I became a mother. The world became a lot smaller. I experienced gendered prejudice, discrimination,?and I have collected so many voices of others saying this too, did you know women are still hiding pregnancies? Until men can carry and breastfeed babies, this is a woman's issue and I demand it to be in the feminist chat.

For the past 9 years I’ve been grieving what I thought feminism was. I was the 'girl boss,' and then I became the 'boss mama.' Then I blew my business up and chose to be 'just mama” - only for nine months, but now I am back working 3 jobs with 3 kids cause that’s what living requires and I am still annoyed - Feminism was sold so badly to women who would one day become mothers. Pregnant Barbie, Midge, got cancelled - we should have known.

I loved that the speakers advocated for marginalised groups overlooked by the movement but it still didn't address the glaringly obvious agenda item of the unfinished business of feminism; mother. We are busy fighting to close the pay gaps, but mothers are not paid at all, birth rates are declining and the role is vital. We literally need women to be mothers to survive.?

We need to expand our consciousness to value the unique sacrifices and contributions of mothers. We must invest in parenting a profitable strategy to strengthen our society and we must work hard to make our workplaces inclusive to the unique needs of mothers birthing our children.

Last night, no speaker spoke to motherhood being the unsexy, invisible sister to feminism. Feminism flirted with Capitalism and women became profitable outside the home. And this felt good for women! We were hooked. But we continued to become mothers and raise families behind the scenes or those who didn’t climb ladders and “stayed at home” felt less than. Now, mothers who choose to give up their careers, downshift, or pause their work to be a more present mother, go through a painful experience of feeling like they have given up their feminist rights? Or they are just confused by the feminism head f#k, like me.?

Some will reassure these women choosing family over career with more feminism and say no! Feminism has 'empowered' mothers to close their business, down-shift, pause! They've made a 'choice!’ and while that may be true, it can also feel like a cop-out way of reframing things to make us feel better. To be honest, for me, it didn’t feel “empowering” to choose Motherhood over what feminism declared ultimate independence (business!career! money!), it felt like my heart’s wish, and at the same time, a lonely surrendering of everything that made me ‘me’.

But I am glad I did, because now I am putting all that entrepreneur energy into getting mothers a seat at the table of the feminist roast! If I hadn't surrendered my business to motherhood, let myself heal and evolve, I would have missed out on one of women's greatest experiences.? I would have missed out my magical right of matrescence to rewire my being. My children would have missed out on me too.?

When the speakers concluded by urging the audience not just to listen but to go out and act—to speak, to rage, to listen, to create, and to support grassroots movements (because systems don't change from the top down)—I at least felt seen then. I nodded my head because I am doing that. I’ve taken my rage and my pink posca pen, and I am trying. I am speaking up. I am collecting the voices of mothers. I am deep listening and I am committed to the feminist rights of one of the largest group of invisible marginalised women in modern times: mothers.

Lucinda Price, Nakkiuh Lui, Alex Lee, Michelle Brasier and Grace Tame and Yumi Stynes you were fierce, funny and I heard your perspectives but theres room for more.

Sydney Opera House All About Women I would love to speak, this mum can’t cook but she can roast.

If you think Motherism should get on the mic at the All About Women ‘Feminist Roast’ 2026, comment below. I am going to need your support.