I am 37 and don't know how to make friends.

Can I be honest? Making new friends as an autistic person s*cks.

I can not tell you how often I have been ghosted (even after years of "friendship" even from what I thought were close friends), been told that people can't handle certain things I do/characteristics, been downright lied to or manipulated, etc.

- but also told (if I was told) it has nothing to do with my autism.

And everything that was explained to me as a reason, was in fact related to my autism.

Of course, we know there are communication issues between autistic and non-autistic people. Most often they are being blamed on the autistic person.

I am upfront, honest, and share as openly as I can. But that is a trait many (non-autistic) people don't appreciate. They like to read between the lines, make passive-aggressive remarks, and let you sit in the dark pretending you need to know by their facial expressions what they think and feel and are saying to you.

Social cues and social rules. I don't know them, I can't read them and I'll miss them, with a 99% chance to make a mistake I don't know I am making. In my world, that's called playing games, and I don't play with people.

I tell people that I am autistic from the get-go (you read it in my bio, didn't you?) so there are no surprises. the surprise is, how little people know about autism, or how little they want to know.

With me, what you get is what you see. You don't even have to make a lot of effort to find this all out for yourself, I lay it all out for you.

Yet, most people these days don't even get past that phase. They run. Or well, ghost their way out.

Others may think "It can't be that bad" (whatever that means) until my autism takes over one day ... and then they run.

But may I ask you something: Do you (Hi neurotypicals) really think y'all are flawless?

Like ... you think just because you are not autistic you are "better off" and so much "easier" to deal with?

I am genuinely wondering. Cause this feels like you do!

I choose autistic people all day every day over neurotypicals (if I could) because seriously the amount of effort autistic people put into friendships is worth a Nobel Peace Prize.

Let alone the fact that most of us still mask in some ways so y'all have it easier to "deal" with us.

All the while many of you couldn't give less f*cks, and throw all of your baggage, unhealed trauma, toxic traits, and colorful characteristics in our faces while we make excuses for you because "we are also a little weird".

The energy exchange is not in any shape or form equal and the extra labor is most of the time on our side.

If you are neurotypical and feeling somewhat triggered after reading this or you want to say something like "It's not easy to make friends as an adult why would it be worse for you?!" or something along the lines let me tell you: Sure.

And you are not autistic. You still don't know anything about our experience. You just gaslit it. Invalidated it.

Please instead: Listen. Hear us out. I understand that these days there are a lot of things we need to learn, listen to, and adjust to. So why not also the experience of neurodiverse people who live in a very different world than you do? I promise it will only help expand your perspective.

And for my dear autistic friends - stay strong. Keep going. We can do this.

I am frankly shocked right now at how often this has happened to me & to what extent ... but I also know it'll pass and I am simply releasing and showing a part of my daily life that people don't often get to see.

I am even more grateful for the 3ish friends I have who truly love me for who I am. Thank you. You know who you are.

And for the record: I'll stay weird.