I almost died a few weeks ago, this is what I learned from it

On Monday, 25 January this year, at about 1:13 pm, I was at the Snap Fitness Mairangi Bay gym, having just completed a set of standing leg curls. I stood up, feeling clammy and dizzy, not knowing that I was about to confront the biggest ordeal of my life.

I thought I was overdoing the exercise a bit and should probably take a short break. It was the last thing I remember before opening my eyes to find Yulia, the assistant manager at my side. She was speaking to a 111 operator. 

I heard an ambulance was on its way and realised I was on the floor. The pain hit me then. My head and neck felt like they were being crushed in a vice. I knew I had suffered a serious health event, but I didn't know what. The first thing I did was pray to God and ask Him to spare me because my kids still needed me (I also asked Him to forgive me for my sins – just in case I didn't make it out).

I heard Yulia tell the operator that she had seen me fall flat on my face from the corner of her eye. She said I had been foaming at the mouth and making snoring sounds (not sure I wanted to share that last bit). 

I am my family's primary breadwinner. I couldn't afford to get sick – I had a living to make. I also knew that there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Nothing. For once, I had no control. I had to let it go.

My next vague memory is of my family in the emergency department at North Shore Hospital. Talking to me and reassuring me with touch. I could feel their fear and worry, but I didn't know how serious things were until a doctor I could not see told me that I had suffered a brain bleed (a ruptured brain aneurysm). He said I was being transported urgently to Auckland Hospital for surgery. 

I recall a paramedic telling me: "Sorry, love, we're going under lights". The ambulance I was in turned on its emergency lights and siren, which reinforced my awareness that things weren't good, but it was vaguely comforting to know I was being looked after.

After I was admitted to the High Demand Unit at Auckland Hospital's Neurosurgery ward, I learned (at some point) that I had suffered a ruptured 7mm anterior communicating artery (Acom) aneurysm with a subarachnoid bleed on my brain. 

I cannot say enough about the incredible professionalism, care, attentiveness and competency of the nurses, doctors and surgeons in that ward. I will forever be grateful to them and would love to name all of them and thank them again, but I will also respect their privacy. 

God heard our prayers because everything for my surgery was optimum. Surgeons performed the operation through an artery in my leg, which is better than the alternative which is through the skull. They were able to insert a web device into the aneurysm. Again, another optimum outcome. The surgeons told me they were delighted with the result, and my chances of another aneurysm are very low.

A doctor told me I was lucky. Fifty per cent of such events in the community result in death, but the next two weeks would still be critical due to the high risk of vasospasm and stroke, not to mention the possibility of cognitive impairment.

Sixteen days after my aneurysm, I was discharged. I'm back working less than a month later.

But there have been lessons learned. These are some of the business ones.

1. Small frustrations are a distraction

I had arranged a week or so before my aneurysm to transfer my phone services to Spark. Almost two weeks on, the switch hadn't happened. My family struggled to get Spark to sort the connection out so they could reach me in hospital.  

Things like this can annoy us and discolour our day, but there are more important things to focus on. The same is valid for business. When we get frustrated by the petty failures, annoyances or what we may perceive as 'tardiness', we shift our focus from what's important. Even five minutes of fuming puts a dent in your day. 

Don't let the petty stuff distract you from what's important.

2. Life goes on

My clients are lovely people. I was overwhelmed with support. A good client (and friend) helped reach out to other clients to let them know their work may be delayed for a bit (an act of faith in itself). But life goes on. Clients have work to do, projects to complete, and as supportive as they are – life goes on. 

If you are struggling with an issue, like health, stay in contact. Keep your clients informed. Communicate. Do not leave an information vacuum because soon enough, they will have to make alternative arrangements because life goes on. 

My daughters were a massive help in keeping my clients informed about developments, particularly on how quickly I was bouncing back. Use the resources around you. Accept offers of help.

3. Gratitude, not guilt

I had my aneurysm on the Monday. We were moving house on the following Saturday (my wife told me that there were more creative ways to get out of moving). However, so many people stepped forward that she ended up with so much more support than I could ever have given.

Not only did Dean, owner of The Crate Flexible Office Space in Constellation Drive (where I rent a desk), turn up to visit me, he suspended my rent until I am back on my feet. Then Dean, and other businesses owners (and staff of businesses) from The Crate, turned up to help my wife with the move. A whole group of The Crate's tenants also sent me a video message of support.

Those that helped with the house move included the owner of Snap Fitness Mairangi Bay, Lolesh (who also visited me in hospital) and of course Yulia, whose swift action and calm in a highly stressful situation I credit with helping save my life.

Then there were our wonderful friends who visited my family every night of that week to bring food, help pack and clean in preparation for the move. Jerome who had my glasses repaired, and Daniel who sent me a charger for me laptop – the list goes on.

I say only in New Zealand does a community rise like this. The help, support, prayer, love and kindness we experienced is beyond words. It is extraordinary in itself. It still brings me to tears, and I will forever be grateful for what all those people – too numerous to know or name – did for my family and me. 

I felt guilty, to begin with. I kept on apologising, and then I realised it was time to 'let it be' – accept the love and kindness from whence it comes and be grateful for it. Thank you to you all – you know who you are – for what you did for us.

4. Accept responsibility

Accept responsibility for your actions, decision, and mistakes because to fume and to blame is to relinquish control and lose focus. When you accept responsibility for your mistakes, you take back control of your life and your business.

I was cross with my insurance broker because, at some point, I had put my trauma insurance on hold during a tight period, intending to re-activate it. I never did. Initially, I blamed him for not doing an insurance review with me for several years – for not reminding me. Perhaps it was part of the emotional process I was going through, but it was also unfair.

I decided to put that insurance on hold (for good reasons at the time), and I must accept responsibility for that decision. Blaming somebody else prevents me from growing as a husband, father and business owner. We are responsible for our choices. 

I tell this story because if you are a business owner, you need trauma insurance. It would help if you also had loss of income. Please don't put it off.

5. Build a real business

If you are basically self-employed, you're running a massive risk because your income depends on your health, and that can disappear in the blink of an eye. You may have insurances up to the eyeballs, but that money will only carry you so far – you need to build a business that can run independently of you.

It may entail hiring some staff, at least one person – perhaps even a junior partner – and setting in place policies and procedures that allow the business to function independently of your labour and input. Build a company you can sell five or ten years down the line. In that way, you can be confident it will stand on its own to feet if something unforeseen happens.

Second chances

Early one morning, while sitting in my hospital bed (you get woken up hourly for blood pressure checks and questions about what day and month it is), I got talking to a young mum. 

She is a school teacher with young children who had just had surgery to remove tumours from her brain. She wasn't sure they got it all.

Then she said to me: "Colin, you've been given a second chance. What are you going to do with it?"

I'm not sure. I ask God that question every day. It's been about a month since my aneurysm, but I intend to make sure I use my second chance well.

Don't wait for your second chance because it might not come. Get going now. Make a difference.