I Agree With Oprah. Validation Matters

Are you starving people of the oxygen they need?

I was in awe of the people in front of my lens. They had something to say. They had the confidence to say it. They dared to lead. How I wanted that too.?

But there was something at odds with their confidence and courage that struck me for all of my 28 years making documentary TV.

It came at the end of the interview.?

‘How did I sound?… was that what you wanted?’?

The people I was in awe of wanted approval. My approval? Huh?

I didn’t think much of this other than being under lights in front of the lens is unnerving if you aren’t used to it.

Then years later I heard Oprah Winfrey say

“Whether I'm talking to a murderer…? child molesters…? people who've been victimized through molestation, presidents, politicians, Beyoncé herself. At the end of every interview, the murderer to Beyoncé, the question everybody asks is, was that okay? How was that?”

I’ve now learned that all of us want validation.

Did I do a good job?

Did you hear me?

Did you see me?

Are you fully here with me or are you distracted?

Our kids want to know this.

Our employees want to know this.

Our colleagues want to know this.

Our partners want to know this.

Just knowing this will help you implement change at work and at home.

Could you make 5 minutes a day to cheer on those around you, above you, below you?

Tell them I hear you, I see you. It is the nourishment we all need to grow.

And now that you know how much this means to people, if you hold back the validation, you are cruel. Don’t be. You’re better than that.

Have you got a story where you got validation?

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If we haven’t met yet…

I never considered myself good at change until I went from?

-free-range kid to army sniper

-home movies to National Geographic cameraman

-fumbling card tricks to a professional magician

-never swinging a hammer to building a home

-high school dropout to published author

-business illiterate to building & selling a business

-stutterer to motivational speaker

Turns out I know how to change, I know how to make it simple, and?I?know?how to stand on stage &?make it fun?so others want to do it too.

#change? #changeability #motivationalspeaker