The Hypocrisy of Bullying: Introduction

I believe the hypocrisy concerning how we attempt to eliminate bullying is making bullying worse.

While bullying has existed for millennia, recent attempts to eliminate bullying have only seemingly led to its proliferation and a worsening of the mental health crisis. However, there is a way to Dissolve this issue and it has wide ranging implications.

Since this is a complicated issue, I will present a weekly article that takes about 5 minutes to read so people can spend the week digesting it. I recommend facilitating your understanding by sharing these articles and discussing them with others. Chances are, you’ve never heard the perspective that will be presented. Why?

For over 20 years, I helped executives and managers deal with coworkers by using the only non-contradictory model for the mind and brain. About seven years ago, I realized the habit of bullying begins around 10 years old, so I offered this information to teachers and students. It turns out the bullying in schools is beyond anything we see in the workplace. Once I developed a program that successfully helped preteens, I found the same program has led to me being undefeated helping adults deal with bullying in the workplace including on LinkedIN!

The first step to Dissolving issues is one in which 99% of people are unfamiliar: Define the key terms in a non-contradictory fashion.

Mental health BEGINS in definitions! I have found over 90% of “experts” don’t define their key terms! It is impossible to intentionally achieve our goal if we don’t have a non-contradictory definition for our key terms.

For example, we hear so much about “mental health”. What is your definition of mental health?

In the rare instance when an “expert” gives a definition, it is something along the lines of “lack of bad thoughts and/or bad feelings”. Notice, each of us will always have bad thoughts and bad feelings. This version of “mental health” is impossible, which results in people getting worse.

The non-contradictory definition of “mental health” is “the ability to repair one’s own thought process.” The measure isn't a lack of bad thoughts and feelings, it is our response to those bad thoughts and feelings. After all, a physically healthy body isn’t one that never gets injured. It’s one that is able to repair itself from injury.

The first chapter in my FREE book on LinkedIN covering mental health covers this in greater detail: Mental Health

What is your definition of bullying?

I’ve heard a wide range of definitions, which is the first proof why this issue is getting worse.

The second reason is the definitions tend to be contradictory. For example, I recently heard this definition: “Anything that makes me feel unloved or unwanted”. Notice, this is an effect!

A definition ought to be stated in terms of a cause because then we can intentionally do it in order to get the pleasing effect. We cannot intentionally achieve an effect. Worse, your approach to achieving that effect is going to be different from mine, which dilutes our efforts toward being successful.

The definition of bullying is seeking to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable).

The definition of intimidation is to make timid or fearful : frighten especially : to compel or deter by or as if by threats.

Notice, an effect of bullying is someone feels unloved or unwanted, however, everyone who feels unloved or unwanted isn’t necessarily being bullied.

Since we at Flowcess? have the only model for mind and brain, we can explain the causes of intimidation.

Everyone does everything through a thought process. It turns out, there are only four thought processes.

Creative

The thought process which doesn’t have an agreed on name from “experts” is often confused with “intuition”. Your unconscious makes up 90% of your brain and it is superior to any computer humans will ever create. Flow is when you are performing and feeling your best. It occurs when you momentarily allow this creative thought process to guide your actions. You are basically toggling (or flowing) between this thought process and the next one.

Self-Regulation

When we are focused and conscious, the experts call this self-regulation. This thought process relies on the conscious brain which makes up 10% of your brain. People say we only use 10% of our brain. Actually, we use all of our brain, but we are only in direct control of 10%, which is the conscious brain.

Regulation

When we are distracted and acting automatically, the experts call this regulation. It turns out, as we go down in thought process, we are actually losing energy. The reality is 94% of people are in this thought process, however, we think these people are in self-regulation.

Dysregulation

The final thought process is when people get destructive. They are triggered into fight, flight, and freeze, which means they are fearful.

The goal of intimidation is to move people from self-regulation to dysregulation. This is a two step process. First, you overwhelm the person to get them to be automatic and distracted. Then you trigger them into fear. Notice, since most people are already in regulation, bullying tends to occur in one step and is focused on triggering people.

Next chapter: The easiest way to dissolve bullying.