In a Hyper-Connected World, Are We All Just Alone Together?

Last week at the MarketingProfs B2B Forum, held in Boston, Massachusetts, Sherry Turkle, Author and MIT Professor addressed the state of conversation today, the ways in which technology has changed how we interact with each other and how in overly connected world, we may be more alone that ever before. Read on for four takeaways from her seriously enlightening session.

“Nothing happens when sorry is sent.”

Sherry recently conducted research, which revealed that most 18-year-olds would rather text than talk. Why? Because talking takes place in real time and you can’t easily control what you’re going to say. On a similar note, she also reported that her office hours at MIT are scarcely attended because students would rather explain their question via email and receive an answer in a perfectly packaged email response.

In an effort to achieve perfection, we send emails and texts rather than engaging in face to face conversation so we can safely avoid the possibility of stumbling over our words or appearing unpolished. “The idea of a vulnerable conversation in which they may reveal imperfection is daunting”, Turkle said.

But Turkle also said that “the unedited life is worth living.” When we stumble or misspeak, we learn more about each other and are able to develop empathy for each other. Real time conversations (and relationships) are rich, messy and complicated. There will be ‘boring bits’, lulls in conversations, and mistakes – but that’s what makes it beautiful. That’s what makes us human.

“Technology makes us forget what we know about life.”

89% of people pull out their phones during a conversation and 82% believe this decreased the value of the conversation. Furthermore, research shows that even a silent phone sitting on a table causes people to share less. The presence of the phone signals divided attention and therefore the conversation becomes more trivial.

And since we are more hesitant to dive into deep subjects, it is less likely that we will be able to develop a deeper connection. The two people engaged in the conversation are also less likely to feel an empathetic connection toward one another. “Even a silent phone silences us”, and in an effort to be hyper-connected, we have lost the ability to connect in real time.

“If we unable to be alone as humans, we’re actually more alone.”

In the growing feed-driven world with constant stimulation, our fear of being alone with our own thoughts has increased. Turkle’s research showed that on average, people are uncomfortable with their own thoughts after only 6 minutes. But if we struggle to pay attention to ourselves, what suffers is our ability to pay attention to (and empathize with) others. Finally, Turkle warned, “If you don’t teach your kids how to be alone, they will only know how to be lonely.”

“The crisis in empathy can be cured by conversation.”

Recent research shows that in the past 20 years, there has been a 40% decline in markers for empathy among college students.

In another study, kids sent to a camp for 5 days without technology reported an increased ability to identify emotions in themselves and in others. They developed a taste for both solitude and relationships.

With all of that being said, it is important to note that Turkle isn’t anti-phones or anti-technology, she is pro-conversation. She encouraged conference attendees to use our phones mindfully, and carefully control where to place our attention. She believes that the “crisis in empathy can be cured by conversation.” Research shows that productivity goes up when people have conversations. “Face to face conversation is the most humanizing thing.” And some of the most crucial conversations are those you have with yourself.

What do you think: In a hyper-connected world, are we losing our ability to truly connect and empathize?

For more of Alex’s content, check out the LinkedIn Marketing Solutions blog or follow her on Twitter @amrynnie.