Humor: How Executive Assistants Can Get a Leader's Edge

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century. ~ Barry Humphries, Australian Comedian (aka “Dame Edna”)

A recent post on LinkedIn stated that job ads asking for executive assistants to have a sense of humor are insulting. They trivialize the EA’s skills and undermine the professionalism of the role. So convinced was the post’s author that asking for humor in job ads is insulting, that when I provided a link to an article with a different perspective, it was deleted in short order.?

But why do job ads ask for candidates with a sense of humor?

It’s because of undisputed evidence that a sense of humor is highly valued in the workplace. Survey after survey shows that a sense of humor is a valuable asset at work. A Robert Half survey found that?91% of executives believe a sense of humor is important for career advancement. 84% feel that people with a good sense of humor do a better job. So, if executives believe a sense of humor results in higher work performance, it stands to reason they would ask for a sense of humor when looking to hire.

Think about the one-on-one nature of the EA/Executive partnership. Would you want to work with someone who never lightens up? What if you make a mistake? Wouldn’t it help you to recover if your manager responded with humor rather than admonishment? Responding with humor and agreeing it can’t happen again would make you more inclined to exercise greater care going forward. You would be relaxed. You would work freely, not anxiously.

Bell Leadership Institute’s study showed that workers appreciate a sense of humor in their leaders. “Sense of Humor” and “Work Ethic” were mentioned twice as much as other characteristics, when evaluating desirable traits for a leader. The study concluded that “Humor gives leaders the edge.” Workers want to be around co-workers who are not taking themselves seriously all the time, and bring a sense of fun to work. Having a sense of humor and seeing the lighter side of things doesn’t mean you are not a business professional who excels at their job. When did the EA profession become so full of itself that something as natural and human as humor is considered an insult to your accomplishments?

Harvard Business Review reported that in a survey of 1,000 executives, 84% felt that workers with a sense of humor do a better job. Another survey of 700+ CEOs showed that 98% of them preferred job candidates with a sense of humor. And a study of 20 executives at one company showed that executives who were ranked as “Outstanding” vs executives ranked as “Average” used humor 133% more than their counterparts. Reviewing compensation for the same group showed the size of their bonuses was positively correlated to their use of humor. That should make you sit up and take notice.

Fast Company reported on findings that managers perceived to have a sense of humor are rated by subordinates as 23% more respected and 25% more pleasant to work with. "A culture of levity allows teams to play at the highest level - a belief repeated by leaders across industries and disciplines, from Spanx founder Sara Blakely, to Stephen Curry of the Golden State Warriors, and former U.S. Secretary of State, Madeleine Albright.?These leaders tell a consistent story: teams that laugh together perform better."

So why do some executive assistants feel insulted that a job description would ask for a sense of humor, when business leaders and workers alike speak positively about a sense of humor in the workplace? Is it insecurity about the value you bring? Are you worried you won’t come across as worthy of respect, that you won’t be taken seriously?

Humor is an acknowledged ice-breaker, great for team building, for fostering a sense of community and a “cohesive corporate culture” as one report described it. The LI post suggests that a sense of humor means lack of professionalism, that a sense of humor means assistants are required to entertain and “crack jokes.” Please, EAs, you must get a handle on any insecurity about your perceived value. Stop worrying that you won’t come across as worthy of respect if you inject humor into your work sphere. Do a top-notch job, make a name for yourself and you will be respected and appreciated. It’s hard to disparage or talk down to someone who is consistently excellent at their job.

Humor is about wit and intelligence. About the art of repartee. It means you are well informed and comfortable thinking on your feet. You can retort in equal measure. Humor puts you in the big leagues because it’s the one time you can banter with a senior executive without being considered insubordinate.

Humor doesn’t have to be about laughing at someone else’s expense, or putting people down. If that happens, you speak up. You say something like “That doesn’t feel appropriate to me.” “I’m not comfortable with that,” or, “Please don’t speak to me that way.” Don’t categorically dismiss a sense of humor being valued in the workplace because some nitwits speak or act inappropriately.

?In an article for a company that does background checks, author Christian Moore spoke about unusual traits of effective CEOs. The research concluded that highly effective CEOs don’t take themselves too seriously. Being conscious of their personal limitations, rather than striving to be an expert in all areas, made those leaders more accessible to their followers.

EAs who don’t take themselves too seriously are much more effective as gateways to their executives because they are approachable. People need to come to you, but they won’t if you turn them off by being too fierce and self-conscious about your image. I know, because when I was a younger assistant eager to establish my bona fides, I needlessly acted that way. Then, at some point you mature and grow out of your tendency to feel slighted, when no offense was ever intended. I learned that I didn’t have to constantly brandish my credentials. Exceptional performance did all the talking I’d ever need. Things shifted dramatically when I had that epiphany. It was a relief to release that burden. My work colleagues appreciated my accessibility. It built trust because they felt I was relatable. And it never undermined my professional image one bit, in fact, it enhanced it.

I am not discounting any negative experiences you may have had with poor humor, or disrespect. But I urge you not to let it control your life going forward. As such, I’m not going to list reasons why a “sense of humor” can be a euphemism for inappropriate conduct. Many of you have those lists down in your heads already and it permeates your mindset. It keeps holding you back from taking a chance and going for what you really want. You play it safe and the best opportunities drift right past you because some jerk’s remarks forced you to wrap yourself in indignation.

If you like a job ad but are put off by “a sense of humor,” ask about it. You’ll know right away by the response you get whether this is about a friendly, collegial workplace, or if you are being asked to tolerate disrespect or other bad behavior. Use your judgment, not your bias.

Executive Assistants, please do yourself a favor and lighten up. Everything is not an affront to your skill, dignity and image. Be confident of your professional excellence, so you don’t feel the need to constantly present your credentials and reinforce your image. (“We are the backbone.” “We are leaders.” Blah blah). It’s boring. People will avoid you if you are seen as humorless. And forget about that seat at the table. You’ll never get it if you can’t show some maturity and the ability to hold your own in a business environment, without constantly taking offense. Don’t tolerate disrespect, but don’t be overly sensitive. Get comfortable in your own skin so people can be comfortable around you.

Sometimes things are just a joke. Everyone is not gunning for you, trying to take you down. Get over your insecurity about yourself so you can thrive at work and in life. I remember well, as a junior assistant, watching senior assistants stand around with executives laughing, joking, teasing back and forth. From my position, it was unfathomable. But as I matured in the role, I gained the confidence to converse and wisecrack just like those senior assistants did. People loved it. They’d say things like “I’ve never seen that side of you before. You’re always so serious.”

I once heard Clint Eastwood, the actor, director, producer, politician say, “You take the work seriously, but you don’t take yourself seriously. If you keep that in mind, you’ll do well the rest of your life.” Listen to Clint. He’s done extraordinarily well in life.

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Jan Jones retains all rights to her intellectual property expressed in this article. No unauthorized copying, duplication or distribution by any means without the express permission of the author. All Rights Reserved.

Jan Jones is the author of The CEO’s Secret Weapon How Great Leaders and Their Assistants Maximize Productivity and Effectiveness. The book continues to receive widespread acclaim from executives and executive assistants worldwide. Jan spent 20+ years as an esteemed international executive assistant to well-known business people, including Tony Robbins, the world’s #1 business and life strategist, and 10 years as exclusive representative for small business guru, Michael Gerber, author of The E-Myth Revisited. Jan champions the EA profession through her writing, teaching and consulting. She offers timeless, practical advice and solutions that are relevant to the day-to-day role of the executive assistant. www.theceossecretweapon.com