Humility: The New Assertiveness

Lil Wayne once rapped, “I'm all about ‘I’, give the rest of the vowels back.” Albeit clever and once a sign of the times, Wayne’s words are now depreciating syllables. You can’t blame Wayne or anyone growing up in America for overfeeding their ego; we’ve all been raised on the powerful notion that nice people finish last.  Because after all, being nice is a sign of weakness, right?

A nice guy in my own right, if asked this question ten years ago I would have reluctantly (but surely) answered yes. But this isn’t 2007. A new movement of humble leadership has picked up momentum and gained substantial traction over the past decade.

The result? The Wolf of Wall Street is now the jerk that no one wants to be; the workplace has less bandwidth for egomaniacs, carving out more space for the emotionally intelligent.

Patience and modesty have outworked egoism and pretentiousness ushering a new brand of confidence: humility.

One of the most overused words in our lexicon and once considered an adjective of the average, humility is now associated as an attribute of the strong. Rooted in emotional intelligence, true humility allows people to accurately assess their strengths and weaknesses, which creates space for expediential growth. But that’s not all, as the American Psychological Association so aptly put it—humility creates a sense of “we-ness” in relationships. Being humble means possessing a better capacity to form cooperative alliances, a crucial component in strengthening connections.

Need more proof? Look at companies like Toms, Warby Parker, and People Water.  Before these organizations became household names, they founded for-profit companies that weren’t solely driven by corporate greed, but also on the knowledge that a surplus represented a means to give back rather than hoard. Their compassion and purposeful mission have created a new normal in corporate America— a focus on corporate compassion, generosity and honesty over advantage.  

So how does this affect workers within the workplace? This paradigm shift has a profound impact on the interpersonal skills that you will need to be successful. As it turns out, the old ways of climbing the corporate ladder have been repurposed. As practice makes perfect, here are ten ways to build your capacity to exercise humility in the workplace.

Step 1: Ask for help and admit when you’re wrong.

Pride definitely comes before the fall. No one wants to collaborate with someone who can’t take ownership of their mistakes. It takes a confident person to admit when he’s made a mistake or needs help to execute a task. Increase your bravery by getting in the habit of asking for help.  

Step 2: Embrace an economy of language; talk less and listen more.

Be cognizant of sharing the microphone. As time is the most precious of all commodities, don’t waste it with the sound of your own voice. Brevity can be an extremely valuable skill.  Likewise, listening is a powerful communication skill that has the potential to transform your career trajectory. The better listener you become, the more you will understand and be understood.

Step 3: Be patient and proactive, and trust the journey.

Patience is a virtue of the strong. The road to success will be littered with potholes, construction, and detours. Have faith that the sufferings of today will become the joy of tomorrow. Calm in the eye of a storm is the best way that a leader can demonstrate her capacity to navigate troubled waters. Be solution-oriented and look for opportunities to identify silver linings. Positivity is contagious and spurs progress. Use difficult times to highlight your 360-degree vision.

Step 4: Respect everyone equitably and consistently.

Respect is a powerful thing that often gets overlooked when dealing with work colleagues or subordinates. Treat people the way that you want to be treated regardless of their title and clout. If your first instinct is to exhibit respect, you will steer clear of the perils associated with workplace trash talking.

Step 5: Meet people where they are, not where you think they should be.  

You can’t expect a lemon to produce anything but lemon juice, and you can’t expect a colleague to execute skills that he doesn’t have. Accurately assessing a colleague’s strengths and weaknesses will allow you to put her in positions to execute, while supporting her acquisition of new skills needed to be successful.  

Step 6: If you don’t have anything positive to say, don’t say anything at all.

Simply put, our words are weapons. They have the power to resolve or ignite conflict. Because work relationships and culture are constantly changing — negative words are like a regrettable tattoo, their permanency may come back to haunt you.

Step 7: Celebrate the victories of others.

When a teammate wins, we all win. Delight in the victories of your colleagues. The good of the team must always be placed above the good of the individual. Rejoicing in shared victories will increase your sense of accomplishment and the importance of placing the needs of the team above your own.

Step 8: Don’t be a know-it-all, be teachable.

If you’re not growing, you’re falling behind. Allowing yourself to be taught will diversify your skillset, while positioning you as a go-to person within your organization.

Step 9: Forgive and forget

Understand that there are times when you’ll be treated unfairly. These things happen, but are rarely (if ever) personal. Forgiving others is the best selfish act that you can commit, as forgiveness allows you to pursue excellence instead of revenge.

Step 10: Build others up through delegation and mentorship.

There is no greater gift than mentorship. Mentors guide us when we are lost and serve as our lighthouse when we safely reach home. Seek to mentor and be mentored and you’ll consistently find opportunities to grow. Likewise, proper delegation creates a sense of unity through shared responsibilities. Delegating the right tasks lets your colleagues know that you respect their ideas and value their expertise.

Teamwork makes the dream work. Don’t hesitate to position your humility as a way to increase your leadership capacity. Genuine humility recognizes that all of our talents and virtues are the gift of our grit. So get gritty, not grimy, with it, and let your humility serve to assert the value you bring to your organization.