Humility

Today I want to share a few thoughts about humility in honor of my father, Bill Harmeyer, who passed this week at the age of 91, the most humble person I've ever known.

In recent years a lot has been written about the need for leaders to be authentic and vulnerable. Similarly, we think a lot about the need to be "servant leaders". I wholeheartedly agree with all of this. And I think it all begins with humility.

Humility comes from the word humus which means "earth" or "ground". Being humble is being grounded. It is recognizing that all people are equal, even if all roles or jobs aren't. It's keeping a level perspective on who we are, regardless of what we do. To positively influence people and impact others, we need to start with a humble heart as that is where humility lives. Humility exists in our hearts and our souls more so than in our minds. It's a state more than a belief. Humility helps us recognize the dignity and equality in each person, and thus to care about the wellbeing of each person.?

I've heard humility defined in a variety of ways. One I find compelling is that "humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less." In that light, it is about being "other oriented" . This includes both caring about others and wanting to learn from them, whoever they may be.??

Many years back I found an essay on the printer that my daughter wrote for high school. Her definition of humility still stays with me: "Humility is remembering that my impact on the world is both huge and miniscule at the same time.? It is knowing in the deepest parts of me that no accomplishment nor defeat can change my value or the value of others." In a world that can be obsessed with goals and accomplishments, it's easy to forget that these things don't define us, how we treat others is what defines us. And when we treat others well our impact on the world is in fact huge, even when miniscule.

Why does humility matter in leadership? I think it's the same reason that authenticity matters. Humility makes us equal. It creates safety and comfort in others. It invites people to be who they are, without judgment. Humility is both accepting and trusting. It carries with it perspective on what does matter (being human) and what doesn't. Humility accepts our own humanity.

And humility is an action. Acts of humility include

• making people comfortable
• expressing gratitude
• listening
• accepting
• learning from others
• being "other-oriented"
• creating space
• being open-minded
• being forgiving
• saying we're sorry

Saint Teresa of Calcutta (more commonly known as Mother Teresa) once wrote "We learn humility by accepting humiliations". In a business sense this might be a tough idea to accept. As strong, courageous, successful leaders we certainly don't think of accepting humiliations as part of our role. But there's something here. That is, we all make mistakes; we all make poor choices; we all show up as less than we'd like. And while we may not think of the outcomes as "humiliating", if we accept them and ourselves for what they are - a reminder that we are imperfect and also human - they will teach us humility. We can only be our best selves when we are our most human, our most humble. And it is when we are our best selves that we are most impactful for others.

Thanks Dad for 91 years of leading us with a humble heart. You made a big impact. You will be missed.

"Points of Impact" is a weekly publication expressing thoughts on how we might approach our work differently to have a better impact on others and the world. For more related perspectives, check out Impact with Love: Building Business for a Better World.