Humility and Ego

The Vedic scriptures greatly expound humility as the only way to succeed in true devotion to God. The lives of great Indian Saints are the ultimate examples of this concept. 500 years ago, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu instructed us to be humbler than a blade of grass. More recently, Jagadguru Shree Kripaluji Maharaj also emphasized its importance in his teachings. The Bible has more than twenty verses about humility while the Quran has more than a dozen.

If all the scriptures discuss humility, the questions that naturally arise are: what exactly is humility? How can we identify it? Why is it important and how can we practice it?

Very simply put, humility is the absence of ego. Some hilariously believe EGO is an acronym for Edging God Out but in all seriousness, humility is only allowed to shine through as the ego diminishes.

Desire for Material Happiness has its Roots in the Ego

The ego makes us believe we are the body and all the possessions we have belong to us i.e. they are ours. Because we identify with the body, we are running around for its happiness. Thus, we believe that our happiness lies in accumulating more wealth, fame, social status, respect, etc. but this is not true. When we are humble, we do not seek external appreciation, confirmations, and validations. It comes from within, and that alone is sufficient to give us the confidence to move forward. When that happens, all the externals such as respect, fame, power, etc. immediately follow suit. In this way, inner character becomes the basis for success. We only have to look back at time to see the lives of great Saints such as Valmiki, Meerabi, Soordas, and others to understand this.

Valmiki was a robber who had complete faith in his teacher, the great Sage Narad. This faith enabled him to become such a great sage himself that he is remembered for thousands of years after his death! Not only that, but his rendition of the Ramayan has led many to the lotus feet of the Lord. Meerabai was a queen and hers was a riches-to-rags story. She was asked to drink poison after being told that it was amrit (nectar), from Krishna Himself. So great was her faith in her beloved Krishna that when she heard this nectar was from Him, she immediately drank it. This was not surprising. The astonishing thing was that she was unharmed after drinking the poison! Soordas was a blind poet during the 16th century. But if one reads his poems, one would never realize he was blind. How could he describe the beauty, grace, and pastimes of the Supreme Lord so vividly without ever witnessing them?

Selfishness has its Origins in the Ego

When we are selfish and seek our happiness with little regard for others’ needs, the origin of this selfishness lies in the ego. We seek self-happiness to satisfy the never-ending desires of our ego. This is why there are disputes in the family, disagreements at work, and difficulties in personal relationships. As our selflessness grows and selfishness declines, it paves the way for humility to shine through thereby making our relationships smoother and less stressful.

Fault-finding Stems from the Ego

Each time we point out others’ shortcomings or mistakes, it is our ego in the form of fault-finding or a superiority/inferiority complex stepping up. If we truly believe that God resides in all of us, then there is no reason to believe one is better than another. Yes, we are different but different does not mean better. Just as no two petals of a flower are the same, no two children of a mother are the same. Similarly, all the five fingers of the hand, while different, are equally important. They all are required for proper functioning of the hand and thus, the body. Similarly, there is a unique place for each and every one of us in His world.

Revengefulness and Resentment Stem from the Ego

Anger arises when desires are not fulfilled. We become resentful when things don’t go our way. To be unforgiving means to seek justice or revenge for the pain that someone has caused us. Usually, the pain we experience has its roots in selfishness and material happiness, which, as explained above, has its roots in the ego.

Thus, all the above sentiments have their origin in the ego. To be angry, bitter, resentful, unforgiving, etc. indicates a lack of acceptance of God’s will. We are just like a little child who fights with its parents because it wants to stay up late or eat chocolate and candies when the parents dictate otherwise. It indicates a lack of trust and faith in God’s plan for us. How foolish!

Can our idea of our life ever be better than God’s plan for us?

Attitude of Gratitude Results in Humility

Humility does not mean we belittle ourselves or our God given strengths and talents for that is false humility. What He bestows, He can just as easily take away as well. Thus, humility also manifests as gratitude for everything we have—the material possessions, people in our life, our skills and talents, etc. To demean them in any way is to disrespect these gifts so generously granted to us.

Thus, an attitude of gratitude means we are grateful for all the gifts that are conferred upon us and we continue to maintain that gratefulness should they be taken away as well. If we have a talent for writing or cooking or painting, not only should it be used in His service but we should also not be heartbroken if it is taken away from us. If we truly believe it to be a gift bestowed upon us, then it is His decision as to what He does with it and when. We simply accept it as His grace and do not question ‘why’ or fight it. This is the art of surrender to the divine which is enabled by maintaining a humble attitude.

Servant Leadership is a Manifestation of Humility

When placed in a leadership position, it is humility manifested as wisdom that enables us to support and serve the team instead of trying to command respect and follow our orders. This is the underlying principle behind Servant Leadership. The illustration below is a summary of the qualities of a good leader.

All these qualities indicate that one is (emotionally) secure from within. This happens when we understand and realize that these qualities are a gift from the Lord. And the purpose of our life is to serve Him.

Sacrifice is an Expression of Humility

All the godlike virtues such as sacrifice, forgiveness, compassion, tolerance, truthfulness, etc. are also a manifestation of humility. The repeated sincere exhibition of these traits enables improved relationships in life. Sacrifice is the one trait held in such high-esteem by the Almighty Himself that when we sacrifice our happiness, it enslaves Him. If sacrifice can result in such wonders with Him, ponder over the impact of it on our daily relationships!

This brings back to the concept we started with—that humility is the absence of ego. Just like clouds cover the sun so that its light can only shine from the periphery, our ignorance and mis-identification with the body prevent our true nature from exhibiting itself. As we increasingly realize the grace of God in everything and His presence in all, we truly start to become humble.