Humans are complicated...

"Humans are more complicated than that and shouldn't be reduced to their worst tweet."  

I heard this on the radio today and it really got my attention.  So, I followed up on this by asking my good friend Google more about that statement.  Ms. Google knew what I was looking for and also introduced me to a few more articles about that statement.  Here are a few more excerpts:

"The world is messy. There are ambiguities. People who do really good stuff have flaws. People who you are fighting may love their kids and share certain things with you", said our former President.  He said some people appear to think that the way to bring about change "is to be as judgmental as possible about other people, and that's enough."  

Criticizing people on social media for doing something wrong or for a poor choice of words gives those critics a sense of self-satisfaction, he said.  "Then I can sit and feel pretty good about myself because, man, you see how woke I was, I called you out," he said. "That's not activism. That's not bringing about change. If all you're doing is casting stones, you're probably not going to get that far. That's easy to do." 

I have written on this topic before. People believe they can make change sitting behind a keyboard. They can, but not to the extent they believe. What they can do is create controversy and angst when it is not needed.  And they can fuel more of the "us vs them" or hate.

Social media started with great intentions— to share some of life’s greatest moments with friends and family.  It has become a powerful platform where people can rally together, share their stories and utilize their voices. It has also become a place where we almost obsessively overthink about insignificant things – like being human and making mistakes and experiencing growing pains. 

We need to rethink the way we use and view social media today.  We, and especially our kids,  place so much value in a “like” or a “follow” and read into things too much.  The collective “we” also seems to jump on every mistake or poor word choice.  If I asked you to take a week pause from social media, what would you say?  Can you imagine your life without social media?  Have you’ve fallen a victim to the addiction and impact of social networking? Do you easily criticize and like negative comments?  In my research today, I also learned about some of the ongoing negative effects of social media.

There is the darker side of social media and it’s bad for you. You’ll be surprised to learn the negative effects of social media are both physical and mental. It can change your perception of the world and yourself, and not always for the better.

If you recognize any of these symptoms, it may be time to consider stop using social media altogether: depression and anxiety, cyberbullying, fear of missing out, unrealistic expectations, negative body image, unhealthy sleep patterns, and general addiction to social media.

Depression - Do you spend more than two hours per day on social media? Spending too long on social networking sites could be adversely affecting your mood. In fact, you’re more likely to report poor mental health, including symptoms of anxiety and depression. Current research recommends the amount of time you should spend on social networks is half an hour per day. So, as with so many things in life, it’s all about moderation. Yes....thirty minutes!

Cyberbullying - Before social media, bullying was something only done face-to-face. However, now, someone can be bullied online anonymously. Today everyone knows what cyberbullying is, and most of us have seen what it can do to a person. And since screens hide our faces, you can end up being a jerk on social media and other websites without realizing it.  These online attacks often leave deep mental scars and even drive people to suicide in some cases. You’ll be surprised to find out that cyberbullying isn’t just affecting kids, but also full grown adults.  

FOMO (fear of missing out) - is a phenomenon that was born at the same time as Facebook—and it’s one of the most common negative effects of social media. FOMO is basically a form of anxiety that you get when you’re scared of missing out on a positive experience or emotions that someone else is getting.  This fear is constantly fueled by your social media engagement. The more you use social networks, the more likely you are to see that someone is having more fun that you are right now. And that’s exactly what causes FOMO.

Unrealistic Expectations - This one probably comes as no surprise, but social media helps you to form unrealistic expectations of life and friendships. The networks that do it most are Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. Those are the social media platforms that severely lack online authenticity.  We only show our best selves right?  One simple way out of this is for everyone to quit lying – or better said to tell the whole truth on social media. But in the era of Instagram celebrities and YouTubers who earn millions, that isn’t going to happen anytime soon.

Negative Body Image - Speaking of social media celebrities, if you look at popular social media accounts, you’ll find beautiful people wearing expensive clothes on their perfect bodies. Today, body image is an issue for many people of both sexes. Of course, seeing those perfect bodies on a daily basis makes you conscious about how different you look from those pictures.

Unhealthy Sleep Patterns - On top of increased rates of anxiety and depression, spending too much time on social media can lead to poor sleep. Numerous studies have shown that increased use of social media has a negative effect on your sleep quality.  If you feel like your sleep patterns have become irregular and that this is affecting your productivity, try and avoid spending a significant amount of time on social media.

General Addiction-- Social media is often described as being more addictive than cigarettes and alcohol, with the worst social media apps being Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok when it comes to addiction. Don’t know if you’re addicted to your social networks? Think when was the last time you went a full day without checking your social media accounts? What if your favorite social networks completely disappeared tomorrow; would it make you feel empty and depressed? (facts and data courtesy of Zukhova @ makeuseof.com)

What can we do to reverse course?  Can we reverse course? From our friends at likeable.com:

Pay a friend a compliment on social media. It’s so easy to feel self-conscious and insecure on social media, where everyone is perfect (or at least tries to be). Give someone a confidence boost with a simple compliment or message of encouragement. Like, "Nikki you look great - all those workouts really show!"

Promote someone else’s work on Twitter. All of those tweets sharing “some personal news” are well and good, but what if we took a break from the self-promotion to sing someone else’s praises instead? Whose work has spoken to you recently? Tweet about it. Like, "Michael Erisman, keep promoting positivity and clean living, it is inspiring".

Post on Facebook sharing gratitude for people in your life. In a sea of memes and political commentary, break through with a message of positivity by expressing gratitude for five people in your life. Not only will you make them feel great, but you’ll feel better too. Like, "Hey Dad, Mooner, Newman, Fortini and Garry - you all provide different aspects how to live your life that I admire. From generosity, simplicity, values, goodness and true friendship. I appreciate that and more in each of you."

Give an unsolicited recommendation on LinkedIn. Who are the top three people you’ve loved working with the most during your career? Make their day and publish a recommendation on LinkedIn that explains why anyone else would be lucky to work with them too.  Like, " Mike Pealer, Dave Franz, Jeff Shepard and Jeff Gordon - I want to thank you all for teaching me so many things about being a great leader and role model."

Say sorry, thank you, or really, anything nice online. Social media has made it really easy to spread hate, but it’s just as easy to spread joy. Choose to spread joy. (And a thank you to you reader for reading my blogs!)

So, next time you logon to social media, spread some love, don’t like or share negativity and if you disagree – do it in a respectful manner.

“A little flattery will support a man through great fatigue” ― James Monroe.

“The world is messy. There are ambiguities. People who do really good stuff have flaws” – Barack Obama.

“Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, leave the rest to God.” ― Ronald Reagan. 

Together.  We. Win.