The Human Side of Death: Embracing Compassion and Support

Trigger Warning: Death & Grieving

I usually refrain from sharing personal experiences on LinkedIn, but I couldn't help but reflect on my recent journey through grief and the impact it's had on my work life.

Three weeks ago, I received unexpected news that still leaves me reeling today. Just two days later, we found ourselves touching down in Managua, Nicaragua, to make arrangements for dad's funeral.

A Tribute to My Dad

Dad was more than just an engineer and academic; he was a hands-on person, a masterful tinkerer who found joy in breaking things down and building them back up. His creative solutions knew no bounds, reminding us all of the power of innovation and imagination... honored to say the apple didn't fall far from that tree ??

The Intersection of Life and Work:

The workplace, where many of us spend a significant portion of our lives, has its own set of policies. I couldn't help but contemplate the delicate balance between supporting employees during difficult times and maintaining 'business as usual.'

Losing our father presented my sister and me with a unique set of challenges—both logistical and emotional. We were tasked with navigating the complexities of grief while juggling our work responsibilities and ensuring our teams could pick up the slack in our absence.

Timing Matters:

My sister and I are fortunate to have supportive teams during this challenging period. Serendipitously, the timing of this crisis worked in our favor. Had it happened during a different week or part of the work cycle, the situation would have been far more challenging for everyone involved. This underscores the undeniable truth that variables such as company policies, roles, timing, and more blur the lines between personal lives and professional responsibilities.

Upon reflection these past few weeks, I think there's an opportunity to humanize death, especially within the context of the workplace. Grief doesn't adhere to a predetermined schedule; it ebbs and flows unpredictably, affecting our mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Rather than solely focusing on the number of bereavement days off, I believe what truly matters is the compassion and support that companies can offer.

Work and Life Balance

Our workplaces play a pivotal role in our grief journey, and they can alleviate this transition by creating a supportive environment. Here are some actionable steps we can take to humanize death, and all it brings, in the workplace:

1. Cultivating Empathy:

- Encourage a culture of understanding and empathy.

- Training for managers and colleagues to offer a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on.

2. Mental Health Resources:

- Ensure employees have access to mental health resources, including an EAP and counseling services.

- Share these resources proactively, as individuals in deep grief may struggle to remember what's available to them.

3. Peer Support Networks:

- Create avenues for employees to connect with colleagues to discuss life, loss, and everything in between.

- These networks may offer a sense of community and shared understanding, reducing the isolation that can come with grief.

Making Room for Empathy

Workplace Considerations on Supportive Reintegration

Returning to work after experiencing a personal loss can be emotionally challenging. When an employee re-enters the workplace, it's essential to create a supportive environment that takes their feelings and needs into account. One crucial aspect of this support is to ask employees how they would like to navigate this process.

Ultimately, it's about recognizing the uniqueness of each individual's grieving process and providing them with the support and choices they need to navigate this challenging phase while at work.

Don't shy away from asking the question!

Flexibility and Accommodation:

- Recognize that each employee's grieving process is unique.

- Provide flexibility in work arrangements and accommodate individual needs, such as attending cultural or personal rituals.

Communication Preferences:

Employees may have different preferences when it comes to sharing the news of their loss with colleagues. Some might want to share the news themselves, while others may find it easier if the management team sends a compassionate and supportive message to all employees. By giving employees the option to choose, you empower them to control the narrative and manage their emotions in a way that's most comfortable for them.

Minimizing Repeated Trauma:

When someone has experienced a significant loss, they often have to relive the painful events when well-meaning colleagues ask, "How was your holiday?" or similar questions if they've been away. This can be traumatic and emotionally taxing, especially when it happens repeatedly. By understanding the employee's preference for communication, you can help minimize these difficult moments.

Respect for Privacy:

Additionally, some employees might wish to keep their loss private and may not want to discuss it extensively. In such cases, it's essential to respect their privacy while still offering support when needed. This can include ensuring they have access to counseling services or resources that can help them cope with their grief.

• Resources: RUOK Conversation Starters, Beyond Blue Grief Guides

Overall, by involving employees in the decision-making process about how to navigate their return to the workplace after a loss, organizations can create a more compassionate and understanding environment. This not only shows that the company values its employees as individuals but also helps the grieving employee manage their emotions more effectively during a difficult time.

Life happens to all of us, and ultimately, it's about making room for empathy.

The emotions are still raw, my logical brain has kicked in to protect me from ALL the feelings, but I know I will be okay and will navigate through it. He lived a good life, and although I wish I had many more years to share with him, I am grateful for the ones we got! His legacy will live on in our memories and hearts.

Here's to honoring the memory of those we've lost but also helping find solace and strength during difficult times.

De los nuestros quedamos menos. Hasta la próxima pa!

#grief #work #life #balance