Be Human, Not Perfect
The Basic Idea: You make it far easier for people to relate to you and your insights when you share a genuine and open picture of yourself. (Translation: a lesson about your mistakes is likely to resonate far more than one about your wisdom.)
Explanation: Are you familiar with the term “psychological safety”? It has come to be applied by many as referring to a corporate culture in which individuals feel comfortable displaying their?genuine?self at work. This has led me to create a two-part definition of what it means to be a genuine leader:
1. Being true to your own self in how you communicate and act at work.
2. Creating the conditions that not only allow—but also encourage—your employees to do the same.
To be a leader who is true to his or her own self—and to encourage others to do the same—requires a commitment to be genuine that extends from social media to personal interactions to performance measurement and compensation and finally to corporate culture itself.
This implies that being genuine is more important than any specific set of desired behaviors. As Wharton researcher Julianna Pillemer?writes, “There may be clear organizational expectations for desired behaviors, and there’s a potential downside to acting in a way that’s actually genuine.”
Pillemer cites a consultant friend who perfectly encapsulated this challenge by saying, “Now not only do I have to deliver a perfectly polished presentation, but then go out for drinks with the client, seem like a really fun, genuine person, and tell them all about my life.”
The way out of this perceived trap revolves around a single word: to be genuine rather than to seem genuine.
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One morning I made myself a bowl of oatmeal, poured an iced tea, and headed towards my home office. But I was already preoccupied with work and not really paying attention. My toe caught the edge of the second step. Wham! Oatmeal and tea splattered everywhere.
At 7:58:01 a.m. I was excited about a great new idea. At 7:58:31 I was mopping up a mess.
I wrote about this, of course, and that social media post did quite well. This is a trivial example, but it’s also the way life is. The one thing all human beings have in common is that we all make mistakes. Some of them are minor, and easily resolved. Others take years to clean up.
By sharing your mistakes, you come across as a genuine human being… and you make it easier for the people around you to also be open and honest.
So… when you mess up, admit it. Share it on social media.
I advise my clients to bring errors out of the shadows. Model behaviors that show others it’s about cutting ourselves a break, trying to get smarter, but also admitting that trial and error is the fundamental nature of our world. Much as business managers might try to engineer “faults” out of the system, that’s just not the way life works.
When all you do online is to “share wisdom,” you become two-dimensional… and appear less like a human being and more like a carefully curated caricature of yourself.
When you mess up, share it.
Bruce Kasanoff is an executive coach.
Freelance Writer @ Self-employed | Writing and Reviewing
2 年Thanks for posting
Investor @ Axiom Holographics | Dementia Practitioner, Healthcare Safety
2 年This is a great
Win As One | Board Director | Leadership Consultant | Coach | Podcast Host and Creator of Say It Skillfully
2 年Bruce! Am chuckling at the image going from major lightbulb moment to mopping mess :) Thanks for being real (as always). Sharing fun chat w/ the very real Ryan Berman, who's a fan of “Mistake it ‘til you make it.”https://bit.ly/3IZEgOs
??YOUR PROFILE IS YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION?? Ensure it reflects your expertise and professionalism. I will craft a compelling profile that builds instant credibility and trust with clients and colleagues.
2 年As human beings, Bruce Kasanoff, we all have various inadequacies. And whether we'd like to admit them or not, when we DO admit them, our audience usually resonates with these admissions, since,, if for no other reason, their subconscious is saying, "Hey, that's me." There are many rules in selling, but when enrolling people such as into MLMs, or attempting to get people to purchase complex programs, one of the most important things a speaker/presenter can do, is get members of the audience to think the following thought - - "If he/she can do this, so can I." One of the primary methods of accomplishing this, is the "My story" technique. "I've sat right where you're sitting right this minute. And I thought to myself. I could never do this. But when I bought this program, it was sooooo pathetically easy, even I [emphasis on I] was able to achieve success...." Obviously there's a story that accompanies this line, but you get the picture. People relate to people they perceive to be like them - - not to people who have all the answers and appear sooo perfectly together that the only conclusion they could possibly arrive at is - - I could never do what he/she does. #GuruRichard says: Great post. Hava fantastic day. .
Mother | ICF Master Executive Coach | Oxford Scholar Ambassador | LinkedIn Voice | WEF Iconic Woman Awardee | Culture, People & Org Consulting
2 年Bruce Kasanoff Wow, so beautiful. Being real & being ok with it! So resonates for me. Might be a good sequel for this article to create steps/ways of doing this - of being human & of being ok with not being perfect. Most of us today go thro these phases of growth: 1. are unable to identify areas of growth. 2. if we are able to identify then we dont know how to make them happen/how to create these habits for sustainable self growth. 3. then comes the phase we know whats missing, we also know what to do to move towards renewal but are unable to move towards it (ennui in some form). So something further on, as progressive steps to - Be Human - will help all of us. Best wishes. I enjoyed this read. Thank you.