HUMAN CENTRICITY: FINDING YOUR SPARK THE WAY FORWARD TO WELL-BEING

Did we lose our NorthStar in the last decade or we didn't have any genuine course in our lives? What the f*** has happened to get to the situation we are in today. Did we need a pandemic to realize we were on the wrong path?

I hop off from the hectic life we are all living lately and will try to share some reflections I'm having these days. This will help me to understand the different dimensions that could be impacting negatively in my well-being, hopefully to cross-correct the mistakes I made and to re-route my compass and head to a fulfilled life.

The trigger for pressing pause and think has been the recognition that when you look around, you only see people languishing. Where is the happiness? Has it disappeared? And why? What did we do wrong before and what can we do now to get it back?

I've learned this new term by reading few articles and books from specialists on human being phycology and behaviors, and my understanding is that it means lack of joy in life and aimless. Different from burn-out (as we might still have the energy) and from depression (as there's hope for a better world, at least in the developed world with the vaccination as of the end of this summer and certainly from 2022 onwards).

According to some research 78% of us, workers, said that the pandemic has negatively affected their mental health and a staggering 85% said that newfound work-related stress is affecting their home lives.

Those who are languishing, experience heightened stress and physical and mental exhaustion. They may be more irritable, confused, sad, or angry — this makes social connection and maintaining positive relationships more difficult, which further decreases their sense of well-being. They struggle to stay focused, to find meaning, and for many, to find optimism and hope for the future.

What do you think? Do you recognize yourself or someone connected to you like that? And what are you doing to get out of it? I always believe that the first step of everything is self-awareness and self-knowledge, so that's why I'm trying to understand why I'm feeling like that. I'm certainly one of them.

This is something I don't want to let pass. I am taking action, as leader and as person. To protect myself and my colleagues at work, and to support them as well as they do it with me. Care and collaboration are very close to me. I always try to bring kindness and gratitude in my personal interactions and that builds my leadership style: authentic, vulnerable and caring. I'm glad to work in a company where care and collaboration is part of our purpose statement.

To avoid any guilt in my self-talk I tell my self this is completely normal as we are facing one of the biggest challenges we've ever experienced. A total reset of our society and the additional fear from co-living with a pandemic that has changed our behavioral patterns overnight.

Is very difficult to find joy and happiness because we are social mammals and we've been prevented of our natural instinct to socialize and feel everybody's energy when being in close contact. And yes, by doing it through Zoom, MS Teams, FaceTime or WhatsApp video calls I personally don't get the same experience.

I recognize that connecting virtually is helping everyone (not only the initiating caller but also the receiver) to hang on, but we are missing something fundamental for feeding our love & connection human need. We are missing the energy exchange when meeting in person. Until there's a better opportunity to see each other personally, we definitely need to do it digitally. This situation has brought some learnings for the future, how to maintain and reinforce our connections digitally on top of our natural interactions offline.

?Eddie Medina

Likewise, is totally acceptable if someone is not having a clear reason to believe that the future will be better. Currently there are happening too many things at the same time and in all fronts of our society (politics, economic, human), though is easy to think we are on a turning point and without any hope.

And the first thing we need to do is to normalize it and share our feelings at the workplace. By pretending to be perfectly fine always, makes it more difficult for those that are struggling and don't speak up. They might feel different from the rest of the group and not daring to be on the spot.

Something we have realized is that working from home makes it even more difficult to identify when one of us is not ok. In an office-based setting that would occur at the coffee corner or whilst sharing our lunch with others, in normal life conversations you would be able to flag any potential issue.

In a remote work setting is much more difficult and requires all of us to keep an eye on each other and check-in frequently. To plan time for that and purposely start every interaction with a: how are you doing/feeling? And not to let go with a standard answer like, 'oh yeah, all good here'. We need to make better and powerful questions to really understand the energy levels and which are the circumstances that a person can be suffering. Spend enough time on these conversations and listen carefully before jumping into business topics.

According to the literature there are six key domains identified as contributors to burn-out: workload, control, reward, community, fairness, and values.

Work overload contributes to burnout by depleting the capacity of people to meet the demands of the job. Sometimes the workload might be overwhelming not because of the quantity, but of the quality and diversity. Is the current situation demanding new tasks out of our comfort zone, where we need to invest more time? Are we using the same experience that brought us here to deliver the new needs? In a new paradigm the offer needs to be adjusted to the new demand, and this can't be approached as we used to do it before.

Initiatives to moderate workload demands complemented by improvements in recovery strategies through better sleep, exercise, and nutrition have direct relevance to the exhaustion component of burnout. 

?Cedric Chin

A sense of efficacy, in contrast, could be more responsive to improvements in the forms of recognition from colleagues and leaders within an organization or the profession. An alternative proposal has been that people can make various changes in how they do their job (a process known as “job crafting”), and that such job alterations could lead to less burnout.

A clear link has been found between a lack of control and burnout. Exponential change ramping up during the last 12 months are giving us the sense of lacking control. The market, the customers are not reacting as before, so we are surprised every once and then not feeling under control at all. This new reality could lead us to feel not competent and inefficient.

Something critical for engagement, sense of belonging, and being attached to an organization is reward and recognition. Lacking these two, increases people's vulnerability to burnout, because it devalues both the work and the workers, and is closely associated with feelings of inefficacy.

A tribe is a group of people who share the same interests and passions, with shared values and beliefs. Building collaboration, support, and trust among ourselves, and having the courage to confront and resolve the conflicts will lower the risk of burnout. Tribes that work together can achieve more than individuals acting alone because they stimulate each other’s creativity and sense of possibility.

That sense of community -tribe- is dependent of the quality of the relationships that all of us have with our colleagues at work. In this environment burn-out is less likely to occur.

When there is a values' conflict on the job, and thus a gap between individual and organizational values, employees will find themselves making a trade‐off between work they want to do and work they have to do, and this can lead to greater burnout.

Fairness is subjective, and as such has to do with the level of communication and the effort made on explaining the reasons for the decisions we make and the perception of being fair and equitable.

As human beings we are programmed for community. Not just checking in and connecting. We need to feel like we belong and that we are part of something bigger than ourselves. And this is what I believe is the key point to understand why we are languishing or in a burn-out situation.

In the current situation where companies are re-designing their strategies and transforming their business models, there's a risk of employees losing their sense of belonging. Is very important to spend enough time explaining the reasons for resetting the business (the why), and also the skills and competencies they will need in the new set up (the how). Timely and efficient communication and support for learning and development opportunities are essential.

By doing this properly we will facilitate employees to keep their bonds to the organization and to maintain their level of confidence and competence. These are two important factors to reduce the risk of burn-out.

The third factor leading to burnout is emotional exhaustion. As your emotional resources are used up in trying to cope with challenging situations — such as overwhelming demands, conflict, or lack of support at work— your sense of well-being and capacity to care for yourself and others is diminished.

By focusing on what you can control and where you can have an impact will give you a chance to reduce the level of exhaustion. The overwhelming situation at work, with changing demand and lack of resources will not walk away in the short term so you'd better put all your efforts on protecting yourself and find your way to refuel your energy.

?slowwco

Something helped me few years ago was trying to find my element, where my natural aptitude and my personal passion meet. The best way to identify you have found it is when you have a strong sense of freedom and of authenticity on what you are and what you are doing. Ikigai Dual Meaning = Life is worth living (being) and worth living for (doing).

Perhaps something we are not doing well is focusing on the 'doing' instead of the 'being'. And this could also lead to burn-out and exhaustion. 'Doing' is never enough if you neglect 'being'. If you haven't found who you are, and why are you here it will be more difficult to live a fulfilled life. You believe that by 'doing' more and more you will eventually accumulate enough ‘doings’ to make yourself feel complete at some point in the future. If your 'doing' is not aligned with your 'being' you won’t succeed, you will only lose yourself in 'doing' and probably diminishing your well-being.

If you’re doing something that you love, by the end of the day you may be physically tired but spiritually energized.

And you may want to give you shot of happiness with something that gives you pleasure, chasing the next short-term high, however if you want that to be sustainable and last for your entire life you'd better reflect and find something you can get your flow and you can engage healthily by accomplishing something you care about or even better feeling part of something bigger than you, belonging to a tribe with a mission.

?McLeod, S. A. (2020, March 20). 

If we remember Maslow's pyramid of needs, we see that psychological needs are related to your relationships and your self-esteem. If we don't keep ourselves psychologically healthy, we won't be able to unlock our full potential and live a fulfilled life.

By keeping yourself on the short-term -in the hamster wheel- you run the risk of getting exhausted after a while. So, the question now is how do we recognize the symptoms and what do we do in case we are in an environment at risk of burn-out?

According to medical literature there are few signs of vital exhaustion: low energy, difficulties in concentration, irritability, emotional instability, dizziness, and sleep difficulties. These need to be daily, lasting for two weeks and must interfere with the capacity to perform work responsibilities.

Of course, this must be diagnosed by a health care professional but all of us at the workplace regardless our role in the organization should be aware of these symptoms, create the safe environments where feelings can be shared and discussed, speak up and ask for help in case you need it, etc.

As a caring leader I'm interested to know how to serve my team better and to care about their well-being at work.

I found interesting the sieve model of addressing mental health issues in the workplace. In this model, leaders can address manageable, upstream problems before they become critical by preempting work stressors. Stressors that can’t be preempted can be detected as they emerge and identified issues can be directly remedied.

The first step is to have the right culture and starting with tone at the top. Caring leaders showing the way to others how to set up boundaries at work, not engaging after working hours, having a strong sense of self-care and promoting adjustments in priorities and expectations if circumstances change as we go will be a great start to prevent exhaustion and burn out of the team. 

? Ben Laker and Thomas Roulet. MIT Sloan Management Review

Something that works perfectly for everyone is practicing self-compassion, meaning showing yourself the same kindness, care and concern you would show a good friend.

Sharing our struggles with our colleagues will help others to do the same if they don't dare in the first place. We don't need superheroes; we are all human beings, so do not pretend to project everything is fine at every time. The constructive way of doing this is not just mourning but also share the actions you are putting in place to overcome the situation and ask for feedback.

One fairly common recommendation emphasizes the importance of various forms of support, such as peer support groups, formal support via regular feedback and performance evaluation, or the use of a community‐based approach in the work environment.

Practicing self-compassion and recognizing that we are all imperfect human beings allows you to break the cycle of negative thoughts and self-judgment that come with rumination, which is linked to several negative effects, including insomnia. Some research also found that self-compassion reduces stress-related poor sleep. And having a quality repair sleep is the cornerstone for being mentally healthy.

Remember you can allow yourself not to be perfect and make mistakes, much more in a situation where the paradigm is shifting and there are many unknowns. Making mistakes is a very good signal that you are exploring, learning and expanding your comfort zone, therefore you are on the right track.

A related recommendation is develop a more versatile lifestyle, in which we diversify our work and/or we engage in activities outside of work (such as hobbies and other personal interests). To take care of oneself – and not only in terms of personal health and physical fitness, but also in terms of psychological wellbeing.

Apart from self-reporting these days of remote working is crucial we all keep an eye on our colleagues and team members. In a traditional office setting this languishing would be noticeable, being working from home makes it more difficult though. What to do?

?South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust. https://www.wheelofwellbeing.org/

1.       Connect – Love & Connection is a fundamental human need and one that contributes to functioning well in the world. These days of pandemic is in deficit, so we should increase the use of vehicles to fulfill our need and to give it to others we care. Family, friends and colleagues at work. It’s clear that social relationships are critical for promoting wellbeing and protecting our mental health and resilience. While face-to-face contact may be limited, we are big fans of using technology to stay connected, be it texts, WhatsApp, MS Teams, Zoom … Or perhaps you can make a bigger impact by sending a card or letter. 

At work set up some drop-in sessions where people can show up if they see fit. No work-related discussions, just chatting as if we were in the coffee corner in our office. Show recognition and celebrate success of small milestones, that will boost the energy of those receiving it and will also improve the engagement and morale of the group.

2.       Be active – or avoid sedentarism. Our life has changed and now we spend a lot of time sitting and our screen time has increased. Regular physical activity is associated with lower rates of depression and anxiety across all age groups. Research shows that a single instance of moderately intense exercise can decrease the rumination that keeps us up at night and improve our sleep.

Give yourself time to walk, disconnect and connect again, think whether all your meetings need to be in front of your laptop or not. Walking meetings, switching off your camera, etc. would improve your wellbeing. Reduce the number of your meetings, the duration of them or even block some long period of time or even a day or two without any planned group meeting.

Exercise is essential for slowing age-related cognitive decline and for promoting well-being. According to research cumulative 120 minutes a week of exercise will have a positive impact in your wellbeing. While gyms may be closed and fitness classes cancelled, there are still plenty opportunities for exercise. In my case lifting weights with my adolescent son is being a great experience, exercise and love & connection. You can also do gardening, walking, on-line classes, even housework and cleaning! Create a habit by accomplishing atomic steps, yes very small steps made consistently will allow you to enlarge them later and create a strong habit.

3.       Take notice – live the 'here and now'. Do not spend too much time neither judging the past nor fearing about the future. Take notice and be aware what really matters to you, that will allow you to make positive choices based on your own values and motivations.

This also applies to your workplace. Worrying to much for the future can lead to anxiety and felling of incompetence or inefficacy if the future needs will be way different than the current ones and you will need to learn new skills.

When the workload is overwhelming, is better to chop it in small pieces, bringing that down from your mind to a document and plan when you are going to deliver it. Make a to-do list. There is always more work to be done. I am using Microsoft To Do, an app fully integrated with other functionalities like outlook, MS Teams, planner, etc. and embedded in your Microsoft 365 software. As it is cloud based is also synchronized in all the devices, so I can include a task in my list from my phone or tablet too.

This will also increase the quality of your sleep. Research shows that making a to-do list for the following day before bed helps you to fall asleep faster — by virtually as much as taking a sleep aid — as well as helps you to wake up fewer times during the night. Unfinished tasks cycling through your mind stay at a “heightened level of cognitive activation”. This is essentially what is causing you to stay up at night. The act of writing down these uncompleted tasks decreases cognitive arousal, rumination, and worry

4.       Learn – Continued learning through life enhances self-esteem and encourages social interaction and a more active life. We have now the opportunity to learn new skills and to build the future. Get yourself involved in projects linked to your purpose, those that you are passionate about and whereby you get positive energy. Start writing or launching a podcast are two concrete actions I took and is helping me to find my spark. If you are less complicated than me, then you can always read a book, take an online class, even watch a documentary on something you know nothing about. Everything expanding your perspective will have a positive impact in your wellbeing.

5.       Give – 'kindness and gratitude' are two of my favorite words. Being kind and feel grateful is something we should do more. There aren't barriers to prevent you to live promoting it. Is easy and doesn't cost any money. Research has shown that committing an act of kindness once a week over a six-week period is associated with an increase in wellbeing. In your private environment -and also in the workplace- we all have time to give to others. Something that helps to feel grateful is to build an inventory of things you are grateful for and a log of your achievements. That exercise will blow your mind and will give you a different standpoint.

6.       Care for the Planet – Look after your community and the world. Make small changes to your life that will reduce your energy use: recycle more, leave the car at home, use low energy light bulbs. Small steps to a greener life can make a difference. We are all doing this by default at the moment but take notice of the changes you see and whether any of them are sustainable once we are through to the other side – cooking more from scratch, reducing wastefulness, walking to the shops instead of driving, less business travel in favor of communicating via technology…

Wrapping up and sharing my personal takeaways and tips:

a.      Do not be so hard with yourself, be vulnerable and practice self-compassion (bring perspecitve).

b.      Find your flow, your passion, and spend the most of your time on that.

c.      Develop a better self‐understanding. Press pause, reflect and list your achievements.

d.      Be kind a be grateful. Recognize your colleagues as much as you can, give them feedback and feedforward (advice).

f.       Change your work patterns (e.g., working smarter, taking more breaks, avoiding overtime work, balancing work with the rest of one's life).

g.      Develop your coping skills (e.g., make a to-do list, job crafting, time management).

h.      Speak-up, share your struggles and obtain social support (both from colleagues and family).

i.        Utilize relaxation strategies (meditation, mindfulness, etc.).

j.        Do not forget to have a healthy lifestyle, be active and exercise.

No one has a crystal ball to anticipate the future but the good news is that we don't needed it. We are responsible and accountable to build that future for us, a better one.

And this what excites me the most, this is time for leadership and for those that are prepared to challenge the establishment and the status quo and force the creation of the new paradigm. A new way to build a better future where we all can co-exist in harmony and live a fulfilled life.

'The world is changing faster than ever in our history. Our best hope for the future is to develop a new paradigm of human capacity to meet a new era of human existence. We need to evolve a new appreciation of the importance of nurturing human talent along with an understanding of how talent expresses itself differently in every individual. We need to create environments—in our schools, in our workplaces, and in our public offices—where every person is inspired to grow creatively. We need to make sure that all people have the chance to do what they should be doing, to discover the Element in themselves and in their own way.' (Ken Robinson, The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything).

The actions we take today will impact tomorrow so I encourage everyone to start reflecting and thinking where you are good at, you get energy from and can have a positive impact. Once you know yourself better, then you only need to start making the first small steps. The focus on new challenges and small and short-term goals will help you to regain the flow you need to flourish again.

If by reading this, you feel inspired or either makes you reflect please share your thoughts with me. I'll be very happy to learn from your experience, so please interact with me I'm looking forward to it.

Suggested reading:

Humanocracy: Creating Organizations as Amazing as the People Inside Them. Gary Hamel.

The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything. Ken Robinson.

How Organizations Can Promote Employee Wellness, Now and Post-Pandemic. Ben Laker and Thomas Roulet. MITSloan Management Review

Understanding the burnout experience: recent research and its implications for psychiatry. Christina Maslach and Michael P. Leiter

There's a name for the blah you're feeling: it's called languishing. Adam Grant. The New York Times

The effects of bedtime writing on difficulty falling asleep: A polysomnographic study comparing to-do lists and completed activity lists

McLeod, S. A. (2020, March 20). Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Simply Psychology. https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.htmlMaslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

Not ill, but not well. The languishing of the “massive middle”. https://www.betterup.com/en-us/resources/blog/not-ill-not-well-massive-middle

A Nuanced Take on Preventing Burnout. https://commoncog.com/blog/nuanced-take-on-preventing-burnout/

https://www.wheelofwellbeing.org/