Human Being vs. Human Doing

A friend called me this week enveloped in stress.  He was in a challenging situation at work, where he was stuck between what he thought was best for the team, and what leadership was asking him to do.  He was already juggling a sick parent and his marriage ending that had him on the brink of a breakdown.  He shared the only thing that kept him going was the faces of his kids, knowing they needed him to be the pillar of strength in a world that is anything but predictable.  Even with those faces he was challenged to keep going.  

My friend knows I am no stranger to anxiety, hence a safe place for discussion.   I reminded him of the personal space we need to clear our minds.  The daily tasks he felt he need to accomplish were unending, and he was losing the race he had set himself up for in his mind.  He felt had become the product of the actions he had taken, or not taken, and was overwhelmed with failure and disappointment.  He was doing, and not being, human, and he was drowning.

As I was preparing yesterday for the week ahead, I found the same familiar feeling returning.  The rising pressure of what had to get done and the limited time to do it in.  Although listed accomplishments may seem long, I found it difficult to get deep breathes and gain clarity to tackle what is ahead.  I had, once again, fallen into the trap of setting my value on the actions I have taken, rather than the person behind each step.  I was reminded of an an article discussing parenting and the importance of value perception with our children. Our actions alone do not define us, who we are defines us, and we are empowered for action from that place. I was, along with my friend, had become a human doing, and missing the peace of human being.

In career, we are evaluated by action. We succeed or fail, win or lose, accelerate or slow down, on a daily basis. Our world is in constant chatter with life productivity hacks and how we can squeeze more out of less every second. It is only logical that we fall into the trap of placing our own value on what we do rather than who we are. We alone, as individuals, are alone on our journey for inner peace. Find time to hold space with your thoughts and quiet your mind. If you allow yourself the time to be, you hold a stronger foundation to do. Only then can we can appreciate who we become.