Hugs Will Have to Wait

Hugs Will Have to Wait

I have a confession to make. I’m a hugger. This isn’t new as it’s a habit drilled into me as a child. Although he’s been gone since I was 16, my dad delivered memorable bear hugs for a variety of reasons. He would hug because he missed someone, while greeting someone or when he felt something needed celebrating. I can still feel what those hugs felt like, a great feeling even if you couldn’t breathe while you were being squeezed. My mom was also a hugger, although they were not so tight that you felt the air leave your lungs.  Hers, much like those of her father, were especially comforting when something wasn’t quite right. Thankfully, my wife is a hugger too. I don’t know how I could go on if that wasn’t the case. My kids are huggers as well, so I guess it all comes honestly. I firmly believe that hugs are an integral form of love and affection. It is important as humans that we demonstrate our feelings physically. A good hug can allow you to feel the heartbeat of others. What could be more human than that?

One of the most important and easiest aspects of my work with PFLAG is hugging. Many are people I know, and many are strangers. So many of them have not been accepted for who they are by those closest to them and so they are missing that very important demonstration of support. I’ve always felt it was a vital role of PFLAG members to show those who have been disengaged, that there are some who genuinely care. This is exactly what Jeanne Manford did, beginning in 1972 and is what happens at Pride parades and other events everywhere.

With clients and prospects, I’m a hand shaker. It seems natural to greet someone in a business environment with an extension of your hand. It’s another habit that comes from over 40 years in business and it’s an excellent habit. It is, however, a habit that comes naturally to most. The flesh on flesh contact has always been a great way to start a conversation. Following that, the conversation often begins a strong relationship.

With that being said, the past few weeks have been quite difficult for me as a hugger/hand shaker. Six feet apart does not allow any of this and I find it ironic that it is the same distance as the depth of a grave.  COVID-19 has changed so much in our lives and the ways we interact with each other. Social distancing is so unnatural for me and many others. For those of us in what has been called an “essential business, “it’s been an ever-changing environment. I think some of the changes might have gone too far, but that’s understandable because none of us received a handbook on how to deal with the coronavirus. Tougher still has been the effect on our personal lives. We are left on our own to decide how to go about the changes.

I’ve heard some say that this will pass sooner or later. The disease may go away but will we ever go back to our day-to-day lives with the same mentality we had before? My wife and I, along with some friends, have always enjoyed the interaction with servers in restaurants, or quite often, sitting at the bar, relating to the bartender and other patrons that choose to sit near us. It is and has always been my belief that those in the service industry are absolutely “essential.” Right now, I miss them, not because they aren’t bringing me a drink, but because I enjoy the communication. The concept of social distancing is contrary to everything that I am or want to be.  Hopefully this will be over soon and I can’t wait to give someone a bear hug like my dad used to give. Watch out though because it may be hard to breathe.

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