Hug a Mentor Today

(well, maybe not in the workplace)

Most would typically define a mentor as “a wise and trusted counselor or teacher.” I’m a little more particular than that. To me, a mentor is a wise and trusted counselor or teacher that positively influences and inspires others in their spiritual, family, and professional lives - EQUALLY; not just one or two aspects of their lives; all of them. 

As rigid a definition as I have, I’ve still been blessed to have 3 in my life. I use the word “blessed” as I know many people who can’t say that anyone has been in their lives that qualify. 

Is there someone that qualifies in your life? Do they know what they mean to you? 

Several years ago, while sitting in an airport, a commercial came on showcasing a distinct, sky-blue Chrysler minivan. It instantly reminded me of one of my mentors, Ed. Ed drove one for years. It had been a year since I had spoken with Ed, and it occurred to me that I hadn’t made it a point to let him know the impact he had on my life. I immediately grabbed my phone, opened Notes, and began drafting a letter. The next day I was in my office transferring the note to a handwritten letter - Ed would have frowned at anything less. 

Two months after I mailed that letter, Ed passed away. I was devastated. As saddened as I was to hear of his death, I found comfort in hearing that he had received my letter and that it had brought him a bit of happiness that day. Something as simple as that commercial prompted me to tell Ed what impact he had on my life. 

From that point forward, I began telling people how I felt more freely. Mentor or not, if someone impresses me, I tell them. 

It doesn’t have to be awkward and really shouldn’t be if it’s a genuine compliment. Expressing your feelings, whether complex emotions on a deep level or pure flattery to someone you just met, can have you feeling apprehensive and uncomfortable. If you struggle with this, try focusing on a specific situation. Instead of “You’re impressive,” say, “That way you handled X situation was impressive.” The specificity will make your kudos more unique, memorable, and keep your focus outward rather than on any feeling you may have of being judged. Most recipients will have an infectiously positive reaction.  

Compliments aren’t meant to be thought and not shared. From the barista you see in the morning, to a significant figure in your life, give a compliment. Chances are, the subject of your attention has the same type of struggles that you do. They’ve shown you a bit of kindness and your compliment can perpetuate that. Smile, let someone know that they brightened your day or positively impacted your life. It’s contagious.