How's Your Small Talk Game?

“Breaking the ice” is an important part of the interview process. You may have been trained to read a candidate’s resume for skills and interests to find something quippy to say before jumping into your questions. But there is so much more. The best recruiters use ice breaking - or small talk - as a way to start bonding quickly and put candidates at ease. We use this technique to allow our candidates to relax them, so they can show their true selves throughout the interview process. We continue to use small talk to learn about candidate expectations and motivations throughout the interview process.?

It’s widely said that closing a candidate starts with that first phone call. Each of us have our own way of handling this small talk portion of the process. Some recruiters use a standard, tried and true method. I prefer to be more situational based on the person or the day. I like to call this “Double Dutch” like the old jump rope game. I’ll jump in wherever I find a good opening. Regardless, those seemingly simple moments build relationships and can make the difference of putting the person in just an ok job or the perfect job.

It’s awards season, so I’m going to bring in some of my favorite TV characters celebrated in this year’s Emmy and Golden Globes Awards shows to help show us how it’s done. I’ve picked a few of TV’s current most memorable characters to highlight some of the things we can do with our ice breaking small talk.

Engage and Charm - Tanya McQuoid, The White Lotus

Our girl Tanya can pop into any situation and charm the pants off those around her. She is able to connect with a wide variety of people and uses her small talk conversations to gain information through these bonding moments that can be used to her advantage later. Her conversations are entertaining and light, and she becomes a memorable person to interact with. She also has an engaging way of making people around her feel special and that she’s shone her light on them.

In our roles as the steward of our company’s employer brand in the recruiting process, having a light and fun style can work wonders. We may even catch our candidates off guard with a bit of quirky fun that can pop them out of the stress they’ve brought on themselves before their interviews. We put them at ease with our light conversations, making them feel they’re ready for the rest of the fun that’s about to happen. Let’s all have a bit of Tanya.

Gather Information - Greg Hirsch, Succession

Cousin Greg is always trying to get in with the Roy Family and stay there. He uses his affable nature to curry favor, and despite being told no or being pushed to the side time and again, he stays with it, gathering information he’ll need to find his place. His use of small talk shows a level of social intelligence. He recognizes the importance of relationships and understands that building connections through seemingly inconsequential conversations can lead to valuable opportunities.

We stay connected to our candidates, because as we know, the inevitable waiting game can be very frustrating. We touch base and ask how that trip went, how their daughter’s soccer game turned out, and continue to build trust and rapport with the candidate along the way. We also use this time to gather information like how our candidates felt about the hiring manager, how that interview at Google went, etc. The point is to start light, but gather information all along the way.

Listening and Identifying signs - Charlie Cale, Poker Face

Charlie may be the queen of listening. She appears laid-back, while she listens intently to people’s responses, picking up on nonverbal cues and emotional shifts. She asks open ended questions that get people to say even more. She shows genuine empathy for her suspects along the way, which also gets them to reveal information they might otherwise withhold.?

Recruiters with any seniority have interviewed thousands of candidates throughout our careers, and our history of understanding people and behaviors allow us to truly know our candidates needs, to learn their motivations, and to look for any red flags along the way. The goal is to put the right person in the right role, and this takes more than a casual observation. We need to put on our Charlie hats.

Small talk isn’t really small. It’s an early entry into a learning journey with each of our candidates. It’s a friendly way into the company, a way to start building relationships, and ideally to give both a solid preparation for the interview process, and to help us put the right person into their perfect role.

How’s your small talk game? Are you more Tanya, Greg or Charlie? Leave me a comment. I find it all so interesting.

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That’s So Interesting is a passion project series of articles on the recruiting, candidate and hiring experience. I’m also available for consulting assignments large and small, including executive search, contingency engagements, and TA or HR leadership strategy.?