How’s your bounce back-ability these days? 5 ways to improve your mental resilience

It’s the skill every employer wants but most hardly ever talk about: the ability to bounce back in the face of constant challenges. It’s time we talked about mindset and mental resilience.

"You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be..." Marianne Williamson

Mental resilience is a topic close to my heart. In my previous corporate roles, I’ve watched good team members struggle, burnout and ultimately fail to successfully execute in their roles because they got caught up in negative thought patterns whenever they faced a setback.

Today, my clients talk to me about their sense of failing in business: the constant grinding frustration of trying to achieve increasing targets, deliver over and above for their clients, or the endless stress of departmental politics. Or perhaps it’s their ‘failure’ as a parent or partner, because they give so much of themselves in work to try to prove their worth, they have little to give by the time they walk back through the door at 8pm at night.

A lot of this is tied in with overwhelming stress (distress) and imposter syndrome (and there are ways to deal with that), but equally it’s important to recognise that mental resilience is a skill that can be developed and improved like any other.

Five ways to improve your mental resilience

1. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is a bit of a buzzword these days and if you’re a big, tough executive you’re probably thinking it’s a bit airy fairy.

But there’s a lot more to mindfulness than deep breathing and meditation.

Done right, mindfulness is a rigorous and continuous mental re-evaluation of your circumstances in any given moment. Mindfulness is all about focusing on the here and now, being fully present in the moment. Constantly pulling yourself back from distractions to focus on your immediate goal not only improves your mental self-discipline, it also helps you get things done.

2. Set boundaries. We all know how important it is to set clear boundaries between the personal and the professional, between work-time and me-time. Study after study shows that rested employees are happier and more productive employees.

But it is possible to take this approach a step further. One of my clients insists upon theming her days and blocking her calendar to give clarity and purpose to her day. She has set days for client work, set days for marketing, set days for business development and even set days for sanity checks! Within those days, she blocks time for emails, for calls, for meetings, for networking events. By refusing to switch contexts, she feels more in control of her business and stays focused on her immediate goals - which ultimately helps her get more done.

Setting time for your gym routine, family time, self-development is also required and can be booked in!

Time is the most valuable resource any of us have and it’s important to set boundaries and guard it, in the same way that you’d protect a meeting with a new prospect or a customer. It may not be possible for you to theme your days in the corporate world but you can certainly have set times for emails and meetings (preferably in time with your natural energy peaks and troughs).

3. Stop and take a break. This is such an obvious, common sense thing to say but it’s true - taking breaks and getting your mind off work can improve your mental resilience and your productivity when you go back to work. Lean out! Do something completely different and put your work in its proper context:

It’s work.

It isn’t your life.

My calendar blocking client does this, too. If she feels herself getting distracted from her work, she gets up and does something completely different. She’s home-based, so she usually does some sort of household task - something that doesn’t involve using her brain. Washing up, the ironing, hoovering. Anything that doesn’t require mental processing! By the time she’s finished, she’s ready to go back to work.

(I have another client who takes naps. If you work from home and the kids are at school, why not? Make your own rules!)

What could you do during the day to give yourself a break? Track down the colleague you’ve been meaning to speak with? Sit outside for 10 minutes and give your partner a call? Facetime with the kids while they’re at their grandparents?

Whatever works for you!

4. Choose your responses. When we’re caught up in the heat of the moment at work, it’s easy to react to situations from an emotional place, especially when we’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed (highlighting why the breaks are crucial too!). That might mean laughing in somebody’s face when they make an honest proposal (I’ve seen it happen), or it might mean lashing out in anger when a team member isn’t performing (I’ve been on both sides of that!).

It’s always tempting to give in to our emotions (and it is harder for some people than others), but as rational adults we all have the capacity to step back, take a breath, and choose how we respond to situations instead of simply reacting.

So whenever you feel yourself losing your temper (or fighting the urge to laugh):

Stop.

Take a deep breath.

Ask yourself how you’re feeling.

And then choose how you’re going to respond.

Give yourself the mental space to make that choice, and you’ll feel more in control of the situation, which in turn allows you to think clearly about the way forward. You can then clearly communicate the direction of travel to your team and colleagues - a major bonus!

5. Be authentic (with yourself as well as others). This is really important when we’re trying to build supportive, respectful, productive and above all happy teams. People can sense inauthentic behaviours in their leaders and they usually reciprocate, causing the relationship between team and leader to break down.

Authenticity is all about approaching others with kindness and open minds, being willing to share our vulnerabilities and challenges. Being open with people in this way helps us build stronger relationships and healthy working environments that are open to experimentation and all the insight and learning that comes with it.

And you never know… when you share your challenges, your colleagues might just be able to help!