This millennial PR executive shattered the glass ceiling—but it came with some cuts

Throughout her more than decade-long career, Emily K. Graham has led communication efforts for big companies like Morgan Stanley and Deloitte. But when she would show up for client meetings, she’d often get mistaken for an assistant or someone delivering food.

“I was often the first and only black female; I was always the youngest, and that brought with it a lot of pressure,” says 33-year-old Graham, who is currently the only Black female partner and also one of the youngest at her company FleishmanHillard, one of the top-three PR firms in the world.

Forty-five percent of women of color are often the only or one of the only people of their race or ethnicity in the room at work, according to a 2018 survey by LeanIn.Org and McKinsey & Co. Being an “only” is twice as common for senior-level women--and as women rise in the ranks, representation diminishes.

“As I began to advance and get more of a seat at the executive table, I started to be perceived and treated as a threat,” says Graham, who by her mid-twenties was working as a senior vice president at a leading PR agency in New York City. “People began to wonder, ‘Who is she, and what is she doing here?’"

“Onlys” experience more microaggressions in the workplace. There’s being mistaken for someone more junior, having their abilities or judgment questioned, or being subjected to demeaning remarks, the survey found. These experiences are even more pronounced for Black women.

Graham recalls a time in her career when she started wearing her hair big and natural. She was sitting in a meeting and a colleague touched her hair. On another occasion, Graham says a senior leader said her hair looked “wild like a lion.”

“I was mortified. I felt ashamed and embarrassed and upset” says Graham. “But those were moments that I dealt with constantly.”

Graham’s rapid rise in communications and PR began with an opportunity to work on Merrill Lynch as a client in 2008 when the company was thrust at the center of the worst financial crisis in recent history. After working to build the brand reputation of the company, she went on to counsel top executives at companies such as Accenture and Shell Oil.

Now she’s working to drive growth and strengthen the company’s global network, overseeing a global team and multi million-dollars-worth of big clients across various sectors of financial services, including Western Union, BNY Mellon and Money20/20. She’s also leading the external diversity and inclusion strategy for the company.

“I made it a goal in my career to make more women come along with me,” says Graham.

In this episode of #HowIGotHere, Graham talks about breaking the glass ceiling, contending with the gender pay gap, and overcoming impostor syndrome.

Join the conversation:

Have you experienced imposter syndrome? If so, what techniques did you use—or are using—to overcome it? (Here's what people are saying.)

Are you an “only” where you work? Share your experience in the comments. (Here's what people are saying.)

Here's a transcript of the video:

Emily Graham: People didn't know that I was a young Black woman, then when I would arrive and state my name they would say, 'Well, there must be some mistake. Are you delivering something for her? Or are you here to meet with someone else?' Assuming that I was an assistant, or an admin, or delivering food. And so those were humbling experiences for me. I did not get upset, but I was a little ashamed, and then I got proud to say, 'no, I'm here to meet with the managing director. My name is Emily Graham and he can see me now.

Maya Pope-Chappell: Emily Graham has been protecting corporate reputations and shaping the perceptions of some of the largest companies in finance and business for more than a decade. She's now a partner and senior leader at a top PR firm and she's only 33 years old. Born in Louisiana and raised in Texas, her rapid rise in corporate America wasn't without its challenges. This is how she got here.

Graham: I had the best example of work ethic at home, my mom always had this drive to climb the ladder and so I saw her getting promoted, which let me know that there was no such thing as a glass ceiling that I couldn't break.

I went to Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas. I thought communications was such a natural fit; I liked to give speeches, I loved to write. I began interning every semester, every summer in different areas of PR, and it gave me a lot of the experience I needed. So, there was no time off for me in school. I was always working, but it really help set me up for my career.

Pope-Chappell: Emily graduated just before the economic crash of 2008, but that crisis would become an opportunity.

George W. Bush: Credit markets have frozen,and families and businesses have found it harder to borrow money. We're in the midst of a serious financial crisis.

Graham: In 2008 it was like having a money ticket. All the things that happened in the financial markets and the great recession, Merrill Lynch just happened to be right in the middle of them, and I was working on them as a client. So, it really catapulted my career to the next level. I got promoted five times in five years.

One thing I learned early on in my career, is that your relationships might come in unlikely places. And at my first job the person who hired me brought me into rooms and gave me seats at tables that I would have ordinarily not had as a young woman of color in PR in the South.

Pope-Chappell: In the first five years of her career, Emily helped to rebuild the brand reputation of Bank of America Merrill Lynch, while also counseling top executives at companies like Accenture, Southwest Airlines, and Shell Oil. She eventually left Texas and moved to New York City, where she realized how grossly underpaid she was.

Graham: As a woman of color, and as a woman working in corporate America, that is a contention point. I've realized, if you don't ask, you will not receive. But you have to do you own due diligence.

Pope-Chappell: Nearly 60 years after the Equal Pay Act was passed women-especially women of color-still face a pay gap. White women are typically paid 77 cents for every dollar paid to white men. For Black women it's 61 cents for every dollar. And for Latinas, they're paid just 53 cents for every dollar paid to white men.

Graham: So when I had a job offer, from another company I went to my employer, and I told them the number, and they balked at the figure. They said that I didn't really deserve to be paid that much that 'that's impossible, that's almost double your current salary.' We are underpaid; that's statistics, so I learned early on that you have to champion and know what you're worth.

Pope-Chappell: Emily landed a vice president position and a healthy salary. She was in her mid-20s and working at a leading PR agency, but imposter syndrome set in.

Graham: I was in over my head, so much so that within the first couple of months, I really thought, 'maybe I should just resign respectfully and walk away because I don't think I can do this.' And then I had a conversation with somebody at the company and they said, 'We wanted you. We see something in you.' It reminded me of a conversation that I'd had five years ago when I was an intern and got hired full time. Somebody saw something in me and that was all I needed to keep going.

As I began to advance, and get more of a seat at the executive table-a 26 year old who was a vice president who was leading a multimillion-dollar piece of business at this agency, I started to be perceived and treated as a threat. People began to wonder, 'Who is she, and what is she doing here?' I ended up at FleishmanHillard as a senior vice president, and within seven months I was promoted to partner, and I became the only Black female partner that's doing PR at FleishmanHillard. So it's a lot of responsibility.

Throughout my career, even academically I was often the first and only Black female. I was always the youngest, and that brought with it a lot of pressure and a lot of expectancy that I knew what I was doing, and if I didn't, it was going to be a problem. But it let me know a couple of things: one, I had to be comfortable being uncomfortable. I had to assume the position of being a leader even when there were no examples for me. And two, I wanted to change that. I made it a goal in my career to make more women come along with me.

What's key to breaking that glass ceiling and getting to where I am now? Can't be afraid of some chipped teeth and hurt feelings.

My lessons learned have been so many. I would say the first is underestimating, and undervaluing myself. Being my own biggest fan- that's something that I've had to learn. The second thing as a woman of color, you kind of feel like you have to apologize for the space that you are taking up. And you don't have to do that. I don't have to apologize for my hair. I don't have to apologize for the way I look. I can show up and be me. It's not my problem if someone doesn't get that. And I had to learn that that's okay; that I deserve to be here.