How To Be Your Own Publicist

Meredith Fineman is the founder and CEO of FinePoint, a leadership and professional development company that represents individuals - CEOs and founders, as well as women in positions of power.  Through her work, she noticed that the most accomplished people, particularly (but not only) women shied away from speaking about their accomplishments. With her new book, BRAG BETTER, Meredith is aiming to solve that problem for what she calls, "The Qualified Quiet," aka the people who have done the work and don't know how to talk about it. Fineman believes that bragging is an art.

"It's hard to be a woman that brags. It's hard to talk about yourself, but we have this intense inverse relationship with volume and merit, and we reward loud." 

The core premise of BRAG BETTER is that your accomplishments are worth talking about irrespective of seniority. If you're bragging facts based on things you have done, you need to leverage those facts to advance your career. The four pillars of a "good brag" are being proud, loud, strategic, and also explicit. Fineman advises that especially now, people don't have time to wait for you to beat around the bush. "Sometimes, you are going to piss people off, and as a woman, that is even more complicated, but I believe it is a net positive," says Fineman.

Fineman's Top 5 Must-Do's to Brag Better

1. Buy the domain of your name so you can own your space on the internet. Having a personal website right now is essential to show people who you really are, especially during a time that we can't physically get in front of people. It's the only place on the internet where you have 100% control of the conversation.
2. Hand people your email signature on a silver platter. People shouldn't have to look up who you are and what you do.
3. A considerable part of bragging better is doing so for others. Think about the voices that you have an obligation to elevate. There's enough space on the stage for everyone
4. Put a quarterly calendar in to update your bio across platforms.
5. Keep a running document of all your wins.

Fineman suggests that you think about the superpower words that describe how you want to make people feel when they hear or read your words. Your tonality will, of course, be trial and error. It's essential to see how your words land and to think about your audience and the medium. 

Fineman admits, "I know that I am a polarizing person. I might rub people in a certain way, but you have to evaluate resentment. How much of it is a "you" problem versus a "them" problem? How much does that person impact your work? If this person is in charge of your raise, it's time to reevaluate. When it comes to feedback, you should always think, "Does this person have my best interest at heart?"

Cindy Gallop, founder and CEO of MakeLoveNotPorn calls herself the Michael Bay of business; that is, she likes to blow things up. Cindy, who notably runs toward confrontation, believes that women need to claim their own credit. As a founder in sextech, she is hyper-aware that no one is going to amplify her wins in Silicon Valley. "Knowing that I am the only person who is going to speak about my accomplishments fires me up. I encourage women to find their own dynamic. What fires you up that will make you overcome an injustice?"

Gallop is a fan of micro-actions. "I believe that change happens from the bottom up, not top-down. Every one of us every day taking micro-actions to change what we want to see change, cumulatively adds up at scale to enormous impact," states Gallop. Furthermore, Gallop advises that women should be opinionated.

"Saying what you think is one micro action that will have a huge impact on your career (and requires no skills). As women, we are talked over and not listened to every day, and we spend a large part of our lives, not saying what we really think. If you do not say what you think, you are not delivering value to your business. Men put their opinions on social media all the time. You can build a community naturally and organically, and you will find people who agree with you and like how you think, "advises Gallop.

But what about the haters, you might ask? Gallop doesn't read nor care about the comments on her social media or press.

But what if you're more of an introvert? Dee Poku, is the founder and CEO of WIE, an influential community for women leaders and creators that provides educational programming and networking opportunities designed to help women advance. Dee is an excellent example of someone who is naturally quieter but has had to learn to speak up. "I'm a behind the scenes person. I have always hoped that the work speaks for itself. But when I started WIE, a branding person came to an event and told me that my organization seemed a little anonymous and that she didn’t get a sense of who was running it and why she should join. 

In the last four years, Dee has changed her approach.

"I had to get myself used to public speaking and talking about myself. Your success partly hinges on your personal brand, who knows you, and how you position yourself. 50% is the work you deliver, and 50 is how you are perceived. I’ve worked with a lot of people who succeeded far beyond their abilities because of the way they positioned themselves."

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