How to Be Your Own Advocate

One of the biggest mistakes that individuals make in their professional journey is to expect (or hope) that others will the primary source of advocacy on their behalf. While you may be fortunate enough to have one or more sponsors who will serve as advocates during your career, your ability to advocate for yourself is critical. Think about it. If you do not believe in yourself or find the voice to be your own advocate, why would you expect others to do so? The ability to speak up for your needs, rights and goals is critical to both personal and professional growth.

Have A Plan

As you consider how to be your own self advocate, know your objectives and what you need to achieve them. A murky story or one that is not well thought out will not have the desired effect. Ultimately, you are asking a person or a team to buy into your perspective or desired outcome. Turn the conversation around and ask yourself as to whether someone pitching that story to you would convince you to act. If not, ask yourself how you would suggest they sharpen their narrative.

?Facts Not Opinions

?Be fact based. Nothing ruins your ability to promote your point of view like letting emotion, conjecture, or aggressive self-importance to enter the picture. Do your research, gather your facts, and determine how best to make the case for your point of view. Whether it is landing that job, seeking a promotion or other opportunity, or merely ensuring that a balanced discussion is occurring during your annual review, bringing your perspective to the table, and making it part of the conversation is the key to success.

?Approach With Confidence

?Confidence is a key attribute during these discussions and oftentimes comes with practice and preparation. Do not let familiarity (or lack thereof) influence your approach to making the case for yourself. Think of yourself as the attorney facing a judge or a jury and convincing them to rule in favor of your client – in this case yourself. What opening arguments, presentation of facts and concluding remarks will win the day?

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Be Clear

?A concise and well-articulated conversation can make the difference between success and failure. Clear and effective communication is key. Do not rush headfirst into your most important points but also do not take forever to get there. Organize your thoughts, gather the necessary information, and outline the key points you want to convey prior to the critical conversation. Practice in your own head how you will deliver your message.

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Be a Good Listener

?Practice active listening. It is easy to be so focused on making your points that you fail to note how the other party is responding. Failure to do will lead to a suboptimal result. If for example, the other person disagrees with your perspective, the natural reaction is to tell them they are wrong. Instead ask the follow-up question as to why they disagree with your point of view. Try to understand their way of thinking (putting yourself in their shoes). At a minimum, it will give you a better sense of how they are thinking about the situation. Understanding another’s point of view is not synonymous with agreeing with their way of thinking.

Adapt and Learn

?In addition, if the conversation moves in an unexpected direction, do not assume that all is lost or that the other party is trying to deflect the conversation. As an example, if you discuss wanting a certain role and the other person wants to talk to you about a different opportunity instead, this is your chance to understand their rationale for that second role. Seek to understand their thinking. I oftentimes will ask an individual about a different opportunity than the one they came to discuss because I am thinking long term and how that second role might enhance their career path as opposed to the first. I may agree with the first idea, but I am also trying to put more options on the table.

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As you speak on your behalf, do not confuse activity with impact. Preferably impact that is sustainable even if you move to a different role. While your colleague, supervisor or team may appreciate your hard work, they are hoping for some kind of outcome. There is a distinct difference between “I worked very hard and deserve a promotion” versus “As a result of my hard work, I have enabled the team to deliver on their goals. Furthermore, I believe I can help the team even more if I am given more responsibility.”? Even better if you can say “Plus I’ve trained another colleague to continue my current work.”

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Choose the Right Time and Place

?Think carefully about the timing and setting of your conversations about your goals. Private conversations are usually more effective than public ones because they do not put either you or the other person(s) on the spot. Allow for ample time to cover the topic. Nothing is less effective than the five-minute drive by career discussion or one that appears out of nowhere in the context of a different conversation.

?Open Communication Lines

?Be respectful and professional in your approach as this maintains a positive relationship and keeps the lines of communication open. Do not be discouraged if you run into resistance or obstacles. You may have caught the other party off guard and left them feeling poorly prepared for the conversation. Let individuals know ahead of time that you would like to have a career conversation.

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Be Persistent

?Persistence is often necessary to achieve your goals. Be willing to revisit and restate your needs if necessary. Reflect on the potential reasons that prior conversations did not go well or achieve the desired results. Leverage sounding boards like mentors and sponsors. Oftentimes they possess knowledge about how you are perceived by other leaders or the broader organization. Use those insights to refine your strategies.

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Document Your Discussions?

Keep good records relative to important conversations, emails and other documents that speak to these discussions. A best practice after one of these discussions is to send a follow-up email outlining what you saw as the principal elements, conclusions, and advice to the other individual or team. This establishes a record that both you and they can refer to in the future.

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Remember that self-advocacy is an ongoing process, and it is important to adapt your approach based on the specific circumstances and individuals involved. It is a skill that can be developed and refined over time, leading to better outcomes in various aspects of your life.