How Is Your Nose Looking?
Can we have an honest conversation about people who lie? Stories about lying are so prevalent on today’s news. It makes me want to gag. As we reached the end of the 2016 presidential election, the only subject in the news seemed to be stories about lies. Trump says Hillary lied. Hillary says Trump lied. Next, a Trump surrogate continues the barrage. “Hillary is lying.” This is followed by a Hillary surrogate flashing across the screen saying, “Trump is lying.” We can’t do much about this litany of lying accusations from our politicians. On the other hand, there one person’s fabrications we do have authority over. If you haven’t guessed yet, that person is you. Here is the good news. You can’t do much to fix the politicians, but you can fix yourself.
A friend of mine recently went into a sales company where her pay is 100% commission based. The national sales trainer, Zig Zigler used to ask, “How much is the commission on the sale you almost made?” Sorry,…if you don’t make the sale, you don’t get paid! The best part about a commission sales business is, you get to shave, comb the hair, and dress the person who decides how much you make. Your limits aren’t set by some company, union, or boss. You’re in charge of the size of your paycheck. If you’re going to be successful in a commissioned sales business you have to be the boss of yourself. Trust me, this is one boss you don’t want to lie to.
Guess how easy it is to get fired when you’re in charge? All you have to do is lie to yourself about how much you’re achieving. I had a conversation with my 100% commission friend yesterday. The last thing she said as we parted , “I’m not going to work this afternoon. I have some things I have to get done. I’ll be starting at 6:00 tomorrow morning.” Her luck ran out the next morning. I took my granddaughter to school and I met her in the school parking lot. As we crossed paths in the parking lot I noticed that she was still in her jammies. She didn’t go to work yesterday, and she didn’t go to work at 6:00 this morning. I’m also pretty confident that she knew she wasn't going to start work at 6:00 AM, even though she told me she was. Perhaps she was trying to impress me with her work ethic, but in my it counts as a lie. More important than lying to me,…she was lying to herself. Remember, no sales, no pay!
None of us are immune from this bad habit. We say, “I’ll do it,” then we don’t. We say, “You can count on me,” then we don't do what they counted on us to do. We make the promise, “I’ll start tomorrow,” then we don’t. The biggest problem with lying is the more we do it,…the more we continue to do it. Like it or not, we are lying to the most important person in our lives, ourselves! There is another huge downside to this malaise. The more we do it, the more it shatters our image,…both of ourselves, and to others At some point, we can’t trust anything we say, and neither can anybody else. Admit it or not, we have become liars. It's like a sickness. One of my mentors, Jim Rhone, used to refer to this ailment as a disease of the attitude.
Guess which lie affects the most people during any calendar year. It’s the one they tell themselves as a new years resolution. It’s been estimated that 90% of all New Years resolutions are broken before one week has passed. What a way to start your year. The first thing out of your mouth is a lie. Don’t let it happen to you. If you say you’re going to do, (whatever) beginning with the new year,...do it
I have composed a small test as a self-examine for this disease. Below are some of the tell-tale symptoms. You might be a liar if you find yourself saying any of the following:
? I meant to do it but…
? I planned to do it but…
? I was going to do it today but…
? I was just too busy to do it today…
? I’ll do it tomorrow…
? I’ll start tomorrow…
? I’ll call them tomorrow…
? I just can’t find the time to…
Those are just a few of the things we say to themselves in order to rationalize or justify the lies we tell ourselves. If you find any of these appearing in your vocabulary, you might have contacted this disease of the attitude. Just so you know,…it is a whole lot easier to recognize this ailment in others than it is to see it in ourselves. We don’t usually perceive the excuses we make as lies when we make them. We tell ourselves, “I meant it when I said it.” It's time for a wake-up call. If you said it and didn’t do it, a jury of your peers would probably judge you to be guilty of lying.
All is not lost. Here are some mental antibiotics to help you get the upper hand on this ailment. Like antibiotics for any sickness, this mental medication will only work if you recognize that you have the problem,…and decide that you want to fix it.
1. Start by saying what you mean,…and what you say.
2. Use a calendar. Schedule a year in advance to keep track of events and activities you don’t want to miss. (birthdays, anniversaries, street sweeping days, vacations etc.)
3. Check your calendar every day to be sure you don’t miss something.
4. Using that calendar,…schedule your day's work and activities the night before.
5. Make good notes. I use sticky notes and my cell phone reminder application. Sometimes I make and attach the sticky note (customer’s name, address, phone number, and other pertinent notes) to my calendar so it is easy to pluck off as I head out for an appointment.
6. Get your phone’s Seri or equivalent app. to give you reminders.
7. Review your notes at lunchtime to make sure you don’t miss something.
8. If you can’t do what you said, apologize as you let whoever is going to be affected know.
9. Decide what time you will get up when you set the alarm,…not when the alarm goes off.
10. Don’t make excuses. Either do what you say or don’t say you’ll do it.
11. Deal with your issues before they balloon up into huge problems.
12. Don’t try to wing it. Plan your work, then work your plan.
In case you didn’t know it, I have written a few electronic books, one of which will be very helpful if you’re ready for some magic in your life. This book is published at Amazon Kindle books and is titled, The Plan, by Gene Opfer. To locate it type The Plan, by Gene Opfer, and your computer will magically take you right to this book. It might just be the best three bucks you spend all year.