How Your Behavior Shapes Your Leader's

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who shapes leaders after all?

For the longest time, I used to look at some of the leaders, especially the more senior ones around me, and wonder, "What happened to them?" It's like they can't even put their pants on by themselves anymore. But what if the change isn't just about them, but about how the people around them start to change?

As leaders ascend the ranks, their responsibilities increase, and they grow more focused on the big picture. This shift can make them seem less hands-on and more demanding. It also feels like they suddenly have a lack of attention to detail or a decrease in interpersonal skills.

Some leaders even seem to forget the basics of professional courtesy - like showing up on time or not canceling meetings at the last minute, making others feel like their time isn't as valuable.

But what if the change we see in leaders isn't really a change in them, but a change in us? As we start treating leaders differently, they may grow to expect that behavior and begin to change because of it. For example, if we always pull reports for them instead of encouraging them to access dashboards themselves, they may come to rely on us for this task. If we always say, "yes" without telling them what that yes will take, they may make assumptions about our capacity and abilities, thinking it was easy and asking for more. If we stop being honest and don't assert ourselves and our needs, they'll take advantage.

This can create a cycle where we enable their behavior and they become less self-sufficient as a result.

So how can we navigate these challenges and continue to treat our leaders with respect while also holding them accountable? Here are some tips:

1. Communicate Openly and Honestly: Be open about your thoughts and concerns. Leaders are not mind readers, no matter how much they think they are.

2. Offer Constructive Feedback: Instead of saying, "You never listen to me," try, "I feel like my input is sometimes overlooked, and I'd appreciate it if you could take it into consideration."

3. Set Boundaries: Politely but firmly communicate your boundaries and expectations. Clearly define what's acceptable and what's not.

4. Lead by Example: Show your leader the respect and courtesy that you expect from them. ALWAYS demonstrate professionalism and respect in your own behavior.

5. Focus on Solutions, Not Just Problems: Instead of just pointing out issues, offer solutions. Be a problem-solving ninja—quick, efficient, and with a touch of flair.

6. Value Your Own Time : Don't be afraid to say no or offer alternative solutions that respect your time. Be the gatekeeper of your schedule—letting in only what's truly important.

7. Set Meeting Expectations: Communicate your expectations for meetings, say, "I find that our meetings are more productive when we're fully present and focused. Can we agree to give each other our full attention during meetings?"

Great leadership is everyone's responsibility and you have a larger role to play in helping your leader become great than you may think. By understanding the challenges they face and communicating effectively, we can help our leaders be more effective and create a positive and productive work environment for everyone.

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