How to be your authentic self?..at work?!

In a time when companies invest in brand value, ESG, employee’s culture, space-as-a-service and customer-centric management, it’s ironic that more and more people leave their employers as they find it difficult to be their authentic self at the work place. Whether we are fully aware of this deeper realization or it's masked behind its more shallow perceptions such as disillusionment, frustration, over-burning, feeling unappreciated, alienation, reclusiveness, favoritism or totalitarianism (the art of paying for smart people, ignoring their advices and then telling them what to do), the result is one: the pretentiously and yet quite precisely coined term “the great resignation”.

And while advising employers how to be authentic when forging their value and identity might turn out to be a much underestimated necessity, I’d rather toss in some tips to the employees. They are incomparably better listeners anyhow. :)

1. Leave your best self and “life editing” for the job interview, your first date and your social media. It's ok to make mistakes, it's ok to even lose. You don't have to be a constant winner and it doesn't diminish your worth. In fact, it makes you something better - a life athlete, battle hardened and wise. Employers, and you for that matter, need your passionate, proactive, inspired and creating true-self, not your super-self (an artificial mask). This is what propels companies forward.
2. Indulge your authentic self to tap into your unique skills and passions, unapologetically. Studies have shown that when we live our unmasked identities, we have higher self-esteem, better health, stronger romantic relationships and enhanced work performance.
3. Reconcile with the fact that being successful at work means feeling fulfilled and purposeful, and not drained and lacking energy. Money is simply the side-effect.
4. Be brave and accept feeling vulnerable or being judged would be the price to pay in many social situations for the luxury of being your true self. This will, paradoxically, raise your emotional intelligence, intuition and empathy, creating an irresistible charisma around you. Genuineness, and not pretense, is what builds relations and creates history. It is also one of the rarest things in the modern society, and hence is valued highly.
5. Prepare for earth-shattering progress: perhaps not in your current company, perhaps not even in the next one, but sooner or later that which is like onto itself will be drawn and you will co-create with like minded strong-willed visionaries.
6. Pace yourself and always be genuinely tolerant and polite with all colleagues, even those who you might feel judgmental about. Sometimes an hour or two spent listening to another person's story might change their and your life forever. Leave your agenda for a moment, embrace the other's point of view, don't fight or judge it, and you'll become more influential than you can imagine. Listen to them and do not think of what you have to say, just listen.

7. Take regular vacations from social media, pre-narrated small talks and corporate drinking sprees. They are ostentatious display of old habits.

8. Speak your truth but be humble and accept that it might be vetoed by those with more power, misunderstood or even twisted by some. It not being “supported” by others changes nothing, but simply shows you where your path goes or doesn’t go through.

9. Leave self-righteous disputes, they are the domain of the ego. Substantiate yourself if asked, but nothing more.

10. Inspire, instead of intimidate. Lead by personal example.

11. Avoid loud bellicose people, usually their arguments are much quieter and their virtues might be even more so.

12. Set boundaries and quietly walk away from toxic situations.

And my favourites:

13. Be present: the art to be present with yourself, despite what's going on around you, is essential to authenticity. If you are always distracted by your mental chatter (fear of the past or future) or reacting to external situations (who've said or done what), you’re not aware of your own state of being.

14. Inventorize your social circle: That involves intentionally giving your time and attention (as opposed to always “being busy” fighting for causes you don’t even believe in) to people who not only are true to themselves, but also support you in your journey. They can encourage you to shine as your true self. Surround yourself with such genuine people, cherish them, call them family, expand and help them expand.

15. Personify your day: If your time is dominated by other people’s priorities, of course you will feel you are not living your truth. Set aside time to decide your priorities for the day ahead: run this few miles you wanted to do last night but cancelled due to the rain, meet with those buddies who always make you roll with laughter, do those daunting work tasks, exercise, get enough sleep, walk in the forest for no particular reason, dive into a nice conversation, read those books you passionately bought, study those things that will make you excel at work.

In short, allow yourself to live your truth, every micro-moment, in every perfect or hostile situation, in every new or old "atomic habit", forever. And if you want a true inspiration for this, (re)read Desiderata !