How young are you?

Dear Reader,?

I hope you are doing well and that you are enjoying the summer holidays! (if it’s summer where you are) It’s the time to relax and chill, and maybe, to read a newsletter too! For me, I am mostly working this summer and have no real vacation, but I'm trying to take it easy as much as I can. I was thinking about why I started writing this newsletter in the first place when I was reminded of an insightful talk I attended in Stockholm by one of my favourite poets; Warsan Shire, where she said she was often writing mainly for herself, to let go of her feelings and thoughts, not initially knowing that others would relate to her poems. And on another occasion, I heard once in a podcast, the filmmaker; Rian Johnson, saying that he often writes out of anger, that you have to be kind of angry about something to write a script.?

I think this is why I somehow started treating my writings as a self-expression of my frustrations as well as a tool to talk out loud to myself, without a specific end goal in mind. There’s always a topic that frustrates me and then I find myself talking and writing about it. So, this month’s frustration is age and ageism. Ageism means prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person's age. The thing that makes me really angry is when I hear a comment from a friend saying "Oh, he's old!" or "Oh she's old!". I feel like saying what do you mean? They are probably not aware that this comment is offensive, especially when it means that the person in question is looking older than their age. Let me ask you; How much are you aware of your age? In other words; is your age causing you any feelings of discomfort, regret or restriction? Do you sometimes feel like you wish to be younger, or older? Try to think about it for a moment.

Do you feel comfortable with your age?

When I share my anxiety around my age with my close friends and family, I get answers like; “On the contrary, I would never trade my age for a younger me, because I was so immature back then” or “Age is just a number” or “It’s never too late”, etc. And to be honest, those comments, although very encouraging, don’t really resonate with me. For me it’s more like; “What if I don’t mind being immature and having some fun because I was too serious when I was younger” or “Age is the number that defines if you are going to get that job, that partner, or that baby” or “You are actually aging every year and your body is not going to be the same”.?It sounds pessimistic I know. For a more hopeful perspective, I'm sharing a page from the book The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna, where she is mentioning inspiring people who decided not to be defined by their age. I should probably print this and hang it on my wall.

I have heard over and over, from friends, how they judge themselves based on their age. I think their judgements are mainly based on what they hear from the outside, not what they truly feel inside. Like “I’m too old for adventure”, “I should finish that study program before it’s too late” “I don’t hang out with people that are 10 years younger than me.” “I’m too old for partying”, etc. And I personally do that all the time, unfortunately.

Aging as a woman

I believe that age plays a big role for all genders in the modern culture we live in, but I do think that for women, it is especially critical. If you live in a woman’s body, you are more likely to feel ageism hitting you in the face. Look at all those aging products made for females, to make you feel conscious that you shouldn’t own those wrinkles or grey hair. It’s as if you have a certain storage of beauty, seduction or motherhood that decreases with age. Or the bleeding that occurs every month, a serious reminder that another egg was not planted.?

The same goes for women's choices. What if you see a woman in her fifties having a young lover, a woman in her forties not having kids, or a woman in her sixties studying at the university? Would you respect them for their choices or rather judge them for not following the norms? Truth is; societies have not yet accepted that women can have their own choices. Societies still dictate what women should be doing. And if a woman decides to do otherwise, she is perceived as crazy, even dangerous.?

Many women celebrities in Holywood mention how it is a struggle for them to find roles when they pass a certain age. Unless you are Meryl Streep, most of the stories that sell are of young women characters. And this made me think that however successful you are, as a woman, you will always feel like you need to look young and sexy which is a brutal way to destroy a woman’s self-esteem. The audience doesn’t want to see their idol aging, because they have pictured them a certain way. In Egypt for example, where cinema is one of the biggest industries in the Arab world, actresses get all sorts of cosmetic plastic surgeries, in order to look younger and in most cases they get roles that do not necessarily match their age group.?

I doubt that men feel the same. For sure they get physically and sexually weaker, but they don’t really have the same biological clock as women do. In addition, they are always considered sexier when they get older, so their sexual intentions are rarely judged compared to women aging who want to be sexually free. In Egypt, I remember a phrase that is said often when someone wants to explain the difference between a man and a woman (physically and sexually speaking); The woman can only get pregnant until a certain age, but the man can have babies whenever he wishes to. The people saying that fact are mostly mothers (of the older generation) to their daughters, so they indirectly mean;You better get married and have children before it’s too late because you’re not a man. That kind of comparison between men and women enrages me. I feel that women are constantly being stressed and judged on how they should live their lives.?

What is amazing now, is the movement called "Pro aging", which they say will replace the "Anti-aging" propaganda. I am so much inspired by all those women not bleaching their hair, and living their age just as they are!

Don’t just dream about what you’re going to do. Don’t criticize somebody else for what they’re not doing. You be it, be about it. Be about that action and go do it. Keep your eye on your intention. /Beyoncé

Here in Sweden, I think that there are both sides; the fact that, technically, you have the freedom to do whatever you wish to, and at the same time, the fact that you are expected to accomplish certain things at a certain age range because that is how the culture works. For example, when you get 30, it’s time to have kids (2 kids, mainly), when you get 40, it’s time for that house in this family neighbourhood, and by 65 you better have some excellent plans for your pension (Thailand or Spain, mostly). By 80, you will probably live in an elderly house if you decide to stay in Sweden.?

For me, it feels quite systematic and boring having very obvious norms. Everyone here is almost copy paste. Even with their clothes, everyone wears black, buys the same brand for their backpack, eats lunch at the same time during the day, and takes vacations at the same spot. Seems like only very few people break those rules. Yes, having a system is helpful, effective and healthy in many cases and I personally am super grateful for this system. However, I feel like the system has made people afraid of differences, nervous about change, and judgmental of unusual attitudes. Of course, it is comfortable to live in conformity, but it makes life stagnant, lacking spontaneity. But, like I said before, technically, honestly, you CAN do whatever you want whenever you want to. I mean in a country like Sweden. It’s just that you have to feel very confident about your choices and also play the “hippie” part so that you can have a good reason for making those choices (I love hippies!).?

Artists: Envy is a knife that you hold to your own throat. /Jerry Saltz

Regarding the art scene, age also plays a big role. It’s like you will have to work super hard in your twenties and thirties so that you can create that professional “name” that will sustain you for the rest of your life. Sometimes, it becomes a battle, a competition, and not art anymore. Art for me, is about sharing, collaborating, and creating together. But, unfortunately, what I witnessed here (and I’m sure it’s in other countries too), is creatives locked in their studios, working and working, not telling anyone about their secrets, not wanting to show their vulnerable side, for fear of losing a client. Artists and creatives are jealous of one another for who has got that award, that scholarship, that grant.?I don't want to generalize though.

The modern world we are living in is a very competitive one, where everyone wants to feel they have succeeded. Who has defined success for us? Does success only mean more followers, big clients, and big projects? I have listened to a podcast where they mentioned that, based on a study in the US, young people in their twenties have high levels of anxiety. I’m not sure if it was the same for older generations back in the day, but I believe that technology, capitalism and industrialism, have changed us humans into miserable, competitive, unsatisfied aliens, breathing stress and anxiety.

Personally, I am quite sick of the modern world. How the rules are written. How we have to work in a certain way, how we have to pay our bills. A phone is not enough, the latest iPhone is. A car is not enough, the most advanced car model is. A home is not enough, a home in a fancy neighbourhood is. A job is not enough, a very well-paid job is. A holiday is not enough, a holiday on an exotic island is. We don’t have enough. We don’t feel enough. There is always something missing, and we don’t know what it is. We are never satisfied. I wonder if this life is meant to be like that, or if we are all playing the wrong game.?

I really wish I could not be part of this modern world. Like going back to the basics or creating my own rules. Being happy with the minimum (For me, it would be having a bathtub and an art space where I could paint all day without thinking about my financial struggles). Going back to my body and mind, listening, having good conversations with people that I belong to, eating good food, reading, learning, sharing positivity, helping others, and supporting the causes that will make this world a better place.

I will leave you now with those reflections. And until we meet again next month, I wish you a wonderful August!

Together we can support one another.

Share your thoughts with your friends, colleagues, mentors or with me.

Let's be vulnerable.

Let's manifest all our wishes.

??

Art & Love

Rana

#artpractice #creativeindustry #artscene #women #aging #ageism #sexuality #bodyimage #society #norms #normchallenging #system #sexism #feminism #womanhood #patriarchy #sweden #nordic #eastern #culture

Afterword

One of my favourite shops in Egypt is called Cairopolitain, a Product design shop and Art gallery located in the heart of Cairo. The founders behind Cairopolitain have the vision to create unique and fun products from everyday local life in Cairo and from nostalgic items that many Egyptians and Arabs can relate to. I love their concept and the work they are doing to promote local designers and illustrators. Every year they announce an Open Call for Cairo Prints (posters, postcards and stickers). This year's 4th Edition was exhibited last June, and I am happy to have had my new collection of stickers part of it, alongside brilliant designers from the Arab region. This is my first time designing stickers. My intention through these affirmations I wrote, is to nurture self-compassion, especially for women. The translation of those affirmations are: "I am single, I am alright" "I love myself" "I am free". It was really fun to work with a new format and boost some self-love for whoever needs it. You can find the stickers in the Cairopolitain shop in Cairo or their webshop.