How Young Women Can Reserve Their Seat at the Table

As a child, I would sit for hours listening to stories from my grandmother from eras gone by. She was born in 1897 and knowing a person who was born in the 1800s was almost too much to fathom. 

The stories she told were foreign to me. Her gender stories were particularly interesting – and peculiar. For instance, at large gatherings men had the luxury of eating dinner first. She joked that women would eat “whatever was left” but I sensed there was more truth to that than a witticism. But, wait. There’s more. Women would also eat in the kitchen and not at the dining table if the men were still gathered ‘round talking. That seemed worse than being relegated to the kid’s table at Thanksgiving.

It was always a great day when you finally got the chance to sit at “the big table.”

It’s the same way in business. We all want our seat at that infamous table. That “seat” is earmarked for those who are considered to have both the influence and authority to make decisions and impact change. The table is a metaphorical representation of the power we hold at work.

Men have historically filled the table and while the table can still be largely male today, sitting at the table has become less about gender and more about what you bring to it.  

So, here’s my advice to every young woman: You deserve your seat at the table.

Get comfortable with the idea of having a seat and sitting at the head of the table because having a seat affords an amazing opportunity to positively impact policies, people, business and society.

Getting that seat, however, is not always an easy journey. It’s not an overnight process. Effective leadership builds over time. The sooner you learn how to sit there confidently, effectively and at ease, the more career options you’ll have in the future.

That’s why you must reserve your spot now.

7 Building Blocks to Help You Earn Your Seat

Build Confidence: Confidence is a vital characteristic for leaders. Even the most technically proficient leader will have a difficult time leading if they are not confident. When pressing issues or tricky situations emerge, employees want a self-assured leader at the forefront because there is a natural propensity to trust people more when they give the impression of confidence. 

Build Relationships: A business card is not a relationship and building key relationships will be a crucial part of success. Relationships will exist internally and externally and will be comprised of all levels of employees as well as your clients and customers. If you know what your employees want or you know how you can solve your clients’ problems, you’re ahead of the game. Never outsource a relationship. Keep your word, follow up, uphold promises and honor all commitments.

Build Your Executive Presence: Can you command the room? Do people stop and listen when you’re speaking? You have an “A-game.” Be prepared to use it. Being perceived as leadership material is vital to being promoted into leadership positions. Your verbal and non-verbal communication skills all contribute to a perceived executive presence. 

Build Your Degree of Influence Over Time: You can be influential before you have a seat at the table. There are many elements that drive performance at organizations. Policies, technology, the culture, company practices, and compensation and incentives play a part of that. If you are involved in any company initiative, you can impact and facilitate change. Your ability to influence across organizational boundaries will set you apart from your other colleagues.

Build Your Purpose: Being weak with your sense of purpose will weaken your ability to perform in the eyes of others. Purpose brings about personal growth. When you have a purpose, you’ll strive for something larger and that means you will feel able to push the self-imposed boundaries of your comfort zone. Revolutionary ideas are seldom born of the status quo. If you are clear on your purpose and what you are striving to accomplish, you will not operate in a status quo manner.

Build Keen Insight:  Understand what happens outside of your department and in your industry. It’s the only way you can offer valid insight and guidance. Show your value by taking the initiative and presenting your ideas for how to drive improvement in the business. When you can connect the dots between today and the future, you can forge a path in between. If you know what you are talking about, people will listen to what you say.

Build Your Voice: Being a voice at the table is different than simply sitting at the table. You must participate. You’ll need to be assertive, direct, and speak up using direct and clear language, communicating with energy and displaying knowledge so that other leaders know you are informed. Stand up for what you believe. If you feel you can’t take a risk and state a well-informed opinion without risking your career, you might be looking for a seat in the wrong organization.

Start building on these now so you’ll be prepared when you get there. Most importantly, remind yourself that you deserve to be there.