How you view your partner (and what that means for YOU) plus SPECIAL EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT!

HO HO Hold on a second how on earth is it Christmas already? I always feel very reflective but most so at this time of year.?

This year my coaching clients have gone from strength to strength, I have published two books (which were only supposed to be little documents of life lessons for my kids to read one day), I have had my first office, my little ones are no longer little and have turned into the sweetest people and finally, we are celebrating Christmas with my partner getting an amazing promotion!?

Truly it has been a year of celebration, breakthroughs and love and I am grateful to all of you whom I have been able to connect to, work with and see flourish.?

That is enough about my Christmas cheer! I wanted today to talk to you about reflecting on your relationships at this time of year (or any really but you know festive etc)?

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There are two things that determine the quality of your relationship and they both come from within you. (remember relationships occur within you)?

The first is how you are viewing your partner and the second is how you are viewing yourself.?

I want to talk about the first one today.?

When we view anything, we do so through a lens we create. This is built through years of history and beliefs about ourselves, others and the world.?

If I believe people reject me, people are untrustworthy or I am not good enough then I take this thought into my relationship and it collapses into how I view myself and the other person.?

If we all lived in a street (Oh a glorious commune of cool people) and I had a bad experience with Timmy next door, viewed through my history Timmy is a bad guy, he is selfish and rude. The relationship between Timmy and I is bad and we ignore each other every morning.?

However, if you asked anyone else in the street they would say Timmy is a wonderful kind and caring soul who would do anything for anyone.?

Now Timmy is just one man, so which one is the real Timmy??

The truth is there exists only one version of Tim, but through my lens, he looks totally different, because I have collapsed my history in with how I view him, everytime I see him I see a completely different person to the rest of the street.?

Can you see how by folding in our history and opinions we start viewing people perhaps unfairly? No matter what Timmy did I would be viewing it through this lens, when in reality Timmy, just like everyone, wakes up a whole new person each day. Everyone morning we have more life and experience, a whole 24 hours of new thoughts and life under our belts, we have shed so many cells, and we are quite literally different people.?

I want you to consider today what lens are you viewing your partner through. What history and beliefs about them have you folded into who they are??

If you were born with blue-tinted glasses, you would view the world totally different to everyone else and what is more, you wouldn’t be aware that you were even seeing everything in blue! It would all be normal to you.?

This is where the work can be done, taking off the tinted glasses so you can start seeing how the world really is, what is right in front of you.?

As a Holiday experiment and a gift, next time you see your partner pretend it is the first time you are meeting them (don’t forget their name or anything silly) but approach them with the openness and excitement of meeting them for the first time, take a real interest like you have never met, be attentive and listen. See what it is like to take off the lens and unfold the history. It can be a beautiful experience if you let it.?

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FINAL SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT?

I am launching my first ever relationship exclusive course in the new year and I am super excited about it!?

This course will help you gain a deeper understanding of the true nature of relationships while helping you discover the root cause of why you have the results you see in your relationships while helping you create more loving relationships in your life.

Our relationships with everything and everyone reveal deeper aspects of the relationship we have with ourselves. We are often acting in life to serve the deep-seated desire to belong, be loved, and be fully accepted. When we become attached to those urges, we stagnate, which creates ramifications across every aspect of our lives; our psychology, our physiology, and especially in our relationship with ourselves and others.

It will be a huge collection of over an hour of a video course for you to digest with exercise to create new thinking and help you see your relationships in new ways through fresh eyes.?

Once a month for 6 months you have access to group coaching calls with either the male or female group to get live coaching from me on all aspects of your relationships.?

This is of huge value and a fraction of the price of 1:1 coaching and most importantly it will have a huge impact on your life, love and freedom.?

It is time created to be time considerate for you (you can just do the video course in your own time and attend the group sessions you want to), cost-effective for you (Fraction of 1:1 coaching) It will help build confidence, when you are more confident you get taken more seriously and feel amazing, when you feel amazing and feel that inner freedom it doesn’t just improve your relationships but you will see the effects at work, life and want to build more success and of course even if you try and it doesn’t work it doesn’t matter because you have built that inner confidence from the inside out!?

I am very excited to launch this course, spaces are limited as I want to keep the groups small enough to do some really powerful coaching for everyone and create a great set of groups and community.?

If you are interested or know anyone who would be interested please comment below or drop me a DM to find out more details or ask any questions. I can’t wait to see you there.?

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Anyway, I am off to get piled on by my happy festive children.?

Happy holidays to you all.?

Cheers

Phil