This is How You Thrive in Life

The Secret to Thriving

We all want to feel like we can thrive in our lives.?

We want to believe that we can accomplish all the things that we set our eyes and hearts on.?

But here’s the thing: We’ll only get as far in life as we believe we’re capable of going.?

Insecure attachment and a negative or shaky self-concept puts limits on our dreams.

Together your attachment and self-concept impact what you believe is possible. These concepts (pun intended) are intertwined. They drive how you envision that your life will unfold.

Your self-concept influences whether you think you should reach for the stars or settle. It contributes to your beliefs about what you deserve out of life, and whether your believe your life is likely to improve if you put in your full effort at creating positive change.

Secure attachment leads to a strong, generally positive self-concept that propels you to dream big and believe that you can achieve what you put your mind to.?

If you have insecure attachment, it’s as if there’s a program installed in you that’s running interference whenever you try to establish relationships (both romantic and platonic), find success at work, and reach your goals.

I want you to know that it is possible to heal your attachment style, build up your self-concept, and live the life of your dreams.

To aid in uncovering the ultimate picture of your hopes and desires it’s helpful to clarify what I like to call your “Life Vision.”

Your Life Vision is the:?

• big picture of who you want to be,?
• what you want to be known for, and?
• what you want your life to look like.?

Your Life Vision helps provide the rationale for your actions and decisions. It’ll help you clarify what you want out of life. It’s rooted in your most cherished values and helps determine how you go about your day-to-day activities in pursuit of this grand vision. It’s a roadmap that turns your dreams into reality and drives you to live life to the fullest—on your own terms.

Before, I wrap up this newsletter, I’d like to leave you with an exercise that can help you clarify your Life Vision:

1. While in a comfortable position, gently close your eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths.
2. Turn your attention to your thoughts. Observe them as if they’re clouds floating by. (Note: If your attention drifts, try not to judge yourself. Gently guide your attention back to observing your thoughts.)
3. Imagine yourself slowly drifting to sleep. It’s peaceful and refreshing, and when you wake, you discover that everything you’ve ever wanted has materialized overnight. You have the life you’ve always desired. You have no fear of failure or regrets. People respect and cherish you, and rarely disappoint you. If you put your mind toward a goal, you can achieve it with time and effort. The wounds of the past have healed, which allows you to move forward in love and confidence. You are honoring your most important values and making significant strides toward self-actualization. You have achieved your ideal self, so that your self-image and your ideal self are completely aligned with one another. ?
4. Allow your mind to wander and take in how you might feel if all of this has happened. Pay attention to the thoughts that you have in response to this vision. Think about what actions you might take upon discovering these changes. The following questions may help:
5. Return your attention to your breathing and take a few more deep breaths in and out.? Gently open your eyes and bring your awareness back to the room.?

That’s the exercise!

Once you complete the exercise, take a few minutes to record some of the thoughts and observations you had while reflecting on your Life Vision.?

You might note how this vision made you feel, think, and the actions you might take if this really was your new life. How might things be different with family, relationships, and so on???

Next, read through your journal entry, pay attention to how you feel, and ask yourself these two questions (be honest):?

• Do you believe that your Life Vision fully captures your potential, or did you limit your own wishes and dreams in any way???

• Do you believe that your Life Vision is achievable with time and effort, or do you think it’s just a pipe dream that will never come to pass??

Your answers to these questions will help guide you toward the steps you need to take to actualize your LIfe Vision. And by looking at the influence your attachment has had on your life, you can identify the areas where this interference has been the most powerful, and you can get started on the work of healing and pursuing the life of your dreams.?

Here’s to your success and happiness,?

Judy

I’m so excited to share that I’ve launched a brand new podcast, which you can listen to in Substack, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or watch on YouTube!

My podcast is called Mental Health Bites with Dr. Judy. In just 10 minutes, we dive into a hot topic, answer your burning questions, and leave you with a practical tip to improve your mental wellness. ??

I created this podcast for people who love to learn and improve themselves, but find they don’t have the time to listen to an entire podcast from beginning to end. Mental Health Bites is designed to be consumable while you’re on the go - you can get all the wellness information you need in just 10 minutes!

Here's where you can check out the podcast:

Substack

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

YouTube

Order my book here: https://bit.ly/3MvuvvF

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About me:

Dr. Judy Ho, Ph. D., ABPP, ABPdN is a triple board certified and licensed Clinical and Forensic Neuropsychologist, a tenured Associate Professor at Pepperdine University, television and podcast host, and author of Stop Self-Sabotage.?An avid researcher and a two-time recipient of the National Institute of Mental Health Services Research Award, Dr. Judy maintains a private practice where she specializes in comprehensive neuropsychological evaluations and expert witness work. She is often called on by the media as an expert psychologist and is also a sought after public speaker for universities, businesses, and organizations.

Dr. Judy received her bachelor's degrees in Psychology and Business Administration from UC Berkeley, and her masters and doctorate from SDSU/UCSD Joint Doctoral Program in Clinical Psychology. She completed a National Institute of Mental Health sponsored fellowship at UCLA's Semel Institute.