How are you?
My day always starts well – the very fact that I’ve woken up, is already cause for delight! But that’s me, and I need to acknowledge that I, perhaps, fall into a category that has fewer adherents than it could. Covid-19 has resulted in lockdown – all over the world, in various forms – and with it has come something which, for me, is not a detractor but, for many, results in a maelstrom of emotions, all of which are not pleasant.
Loneliness, isolation, and left to one’s own devices are all very different to aloneness. ‘Unlike loneliness, aloneness is a state of solitude without feeling isolated and unloved. Aloneness is a response of choice, while a sense of loneliness is an unconscious reaction. The stress and worry that often accompany loneliness are quite capable of sending us back into what … we call Withdrawal. This is a sequel to fight/flight/freeze that follows immediately after a traumatic experience’ (Source: Steve Halama). Whether we hate our co-workers or not, the fact that they are there, in an office environment, at least offers us the comfort of knowing that we can turn to them, albeit for brief social interaction, or to bounce an idea or two off them. Man, by his very nature, is a social creature, and being subjected to isolation due to this pandemic, has resulted in so many of us experiencing the darker side of life – the inner workings of our internal devils.
Loneliness can trigger, or re-ignite if already present, our deepest anxieties and fears, and chief amongst them are Major depressive disorder, Subsyndromal depression, Persistent depressive disorder, Premenstrual dysphoric disorder, Bipolar depression, Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, Postpartum (or perinatal) depression, Seasonal affective disorder, Substance-induced mood disorder, Psychotic depression, and depression due to an illness, to name but a few.
There are two concerns which I see: firstly, the person affected feels helpless, and that only serves to exaggerate the feelings of despair. In a lockdown environment, to whom can that person turn, where can they find solace and help, and how does one cope with the almost-impersonal option of virtual connection? And one of the major concerns is that the affected individual already perhaps feels that acknowledging the condition merely serves to add an additional stigma to themselves, thus resulting in their wanting to keep their problems secret and hidden – which only worsens their feelings of negative self-image and worth. These are very real, and very frightening, feelings that psychosomatically affect the individual’s health. Mental illness is not something that must be hidden, it is something that must be confronted, understood, shared, and accepted. But it isn’t. And that increases its stranglehold on the individual. Because there is help – in very many forms – that is available, but we need to first stop denying that this is a problem, because it is.
The second concern, in my humble opinion, is the largely unsympathetic – or, perhaps, innocently ignorant – role that those unaffected adopt. I am the first to admit that, having an exceptionally sunny disposition places me in the category of the ‘largely unsympathetic’ category, and that is most definitely not my intent. But, full disclosure, I have been working oh, so very hard indeed, to understand all of this, having been married to the most wonderful, witty and weird woman for the last eighteen years and who has been living with bi-polar disorder for all that time. Each day is a challenge, but each day brings newer understanding, and closer bonds, as we share each other’s worlds from our different perspectives because, together, we will conquer both Covid-19 and its associated challenges.