How Are You?

Has your supervisor asked you this recently or do they ask it regularly? Is it sincere or is it just checking the proverbial box of employee engagement?

In today’s workplace, employers increasingly discuss mental health and well-being, with many companies actively promoting a “family-like” culture. You’ve likely seen the social media posts: team bonding activities, wellness seminars, and company events, all intended to foster a strong sense of community among employees. However, while these initiatives may reflect genuine concern for employee well-being, it’s essential to acknowledge that organizations are not families. No matter how close a workplace may feel, business priorities will ultimately influence how employee well-being is approached.

The idea of a “work family” can be uplifting, helping employees feel connected and appreciated. But unlike your biological family or close friends, this relationship is based on performance goals, deadlines, and company needs. In times of personal or professional crisis, your family provides unwavering support, often prioritizing your needs over expectations. Your family is there during illness, mental health struggles, or other challenges, focused on your recovery and well-being regardless of what it may cost them.

A company’s relationship with its employees, however, functions differently. While a family or friend group has no financial stake in your performance, a company does. An organization may empathize and offer some degree of support for mental health challenges, but ultimately, performance and productivity are primary considerations. Even with the best intentions, businesses are profit-driven entities, so there are inherent limits to the level of support they can provide.

The Rise of “Family Culture” in the Workplace

In recent years, promoting a “family culture” has become a popular employee engagement strategy, especially as younger workers place higher value on finding purpose and connection in their work. Creating a sense of family helps employees feel a sense of loyalty and belonging, potentially increasing productivity and retention. Employers might refer to their teams as a “work family,” particularly on social media, to show they are invested in the personal and professional lives of their employees.

On the surface, this can be comforting. A strong social network at work can boost morale, reduce stress, and increase engagement. Team-building activities, wellness days, and employee resource groups (ERGs) for mental health support all add value. However, these initiatives can sometimes give the impression that well-being is secondary to employee output. Work-related wellness programs are beneficial but often serve to enhance productivity rather than purely support employees’ mental and emotional needs.

When “Family Culture” Falls Short

There’s a stark difference between how a true family and a company react in times of crisis. Your family and friends are there through life’s ups and downs, willing to prioritize your well-being above all else. For example, if you need time to heal from illness, deal with a personal loss, or simply take a mental health day, your family isn’t weighing the cost to their bottom line. They understand that your health comes first, and they offer unconditional support without calculating a return on investment.

In contrast, even the most supportive companies are driven by objectives and metrics. They may offer sick leave, mental health days, and Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) that include counseling services. But when long-term absence or ongoing mental health needs arise, employers have to consider the impact on workflow, project completion, and team performance. There can be pressure—subtle or overt—for employees to prioritize work commitments, which may deter them from fully addressing their personal health needs.

Building a Culture of Genuine Support

So, what does genuine support look like within the boundaries of a professional environment? While a company cannot replicate the level of care and unconditional support provided by family and friends, it can take meaningful steps to promote mental health in a balanced, authentic way. Here are a few key approaches:

1. Transparent Policies and Resources: Employers should clearly communicate mental health and wellness benefits, including EAPs, mental health days, and accommodations. Transparency helps employees understand their options without fear of stigma or repercussions.
2. Mental Health Awareness and Training: Managers trained in recognizing and supporting mental health issues can make a significant difference. When leaders show genuine empathy and understand how to approach sensitive conversations, employees feel more comfortable seeking help.
3. Flexible Work Arrangements: Offering flexible hours, remote work options, or modified workloads allows employees to manage their well-being without compromising job security or feeling pressured to meet rigid expectations.
4. Boundaries Between “Family” and Professional Expectations: Encouraging camaraderie and connection is valuable, but companies should be careful not to imply that loyalty to the company should be prioritized over personal well-being. Employees should be able to draw boundaries that allow them to focus on their health.

Moving Toward Real Well-Being Support

While workplace “family culture” can boost morale and foster a positive environment, it’s essential to approach this concept thoughtfully. Employees should feel supported without the expectation that they must be available or high-performing at all times. Genuine support means respecting personal boundaries and recognizing that employees are whole people with needs beyond their work roles. It’s about finding a balance between productivity and humanity, where mental health and well-being are not just productivity tools but true commitments.

Asking "How are you?" means listening to and supporting the answer fully, understanding that while a company isn’t a family, it can create a healthy, empathetic environment that acknowledges the well-being of everyone on the team.