How You Make Others Feel

“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.”

― Bob Marley

There are two scenarios to consider when you see someone walking towards you. Do you walk towards them or away from them? In other words, do they impact your feelings in a positive or negative manner? If you are honest with yourself, which category would you use to describe yourself? How do you think others would answer that question about you? It could have to do with your current mood, stress level, engagement in the NOW, or various pressures impacting your mind. I can think of several people whose presence lights up a room and makes people feel good. These types inspire those around them and leaves us thinking that we can truly make a difference. Sadly, there are those who leave a drain on our emotional state. Everything is negative and excuses flow abundantly towards why things are not right. So consider what adjustments are necessary to be seen as an Inspiration rather than an Interruption.

1. Smile: Nothing speaks in a positive sense than your smile. In addition to using less muscles than a frown, a smile radiates confidence, approachability, and a real sense of self-worth and value towards others. A smile tells the other person that all is good in the moment. My smile is telling you that I am glad to see you and it is a personal privilege to be in your presence. Focus on your smile and you will attract quite a few in return.

2. Eye Contact: Nothing tells someone they matter by providing direct eye contact. It demonstrates the level of importance in the conversation and what the other person brings to the moment. The true essence of a person is how they interact with others and direct eye contact proves this importance. There are some who have the uncanny ability to make you feel like you are the only person in the room. What a gift though it is not limited only to someone who wants your vote or a sale. No, we have this talent though it requires a certain interest and discipline to do so on a consistent basis. It speaks to the importance and interest we place in others.

3. Listening: Nothing speaks more to a person's self- confidence than by allowing someone to have a platform to communicate. One of the challenges we face is the competition towards both people trying to speak at once. Yield this tendency and you will have gained a fan. Yes, this can go down an interesting path. However, by asking follow up questions and ensuring a true understanding of what the other person is saying, we elevate their sense of importance by allowing them to provide their point of view. There is no need to brush them off especially if you disagree. This type of dialogue provides an opportunity for you to learn from them and to broaden your understanding of a particular subject especially if you do not agree or fully understand.

4. Be Genuine: People have an uncanny ability to see beyond what we show off in our interactions. They can almost see right thru you especially if you come off as disingenuous. The key is to simply be yourself. Be authentic in how and what you say and do. By giving your genuine self, you light up the room and the people around you. You do not have to come off as anyone other than yourself. This is essential towards developing and maintaining strong relationships with others.

There are many pressures that are only heightened by social media and news flashes. One quality that will never go out of style is how we make others feel. The successful person is one who makes people feel good about themselves. Now, this does not mean we have to depend on the attention of others. We cannot base the health of our self- esteem by what others say. However, one never gets tired of recognition, a word of encouragement, or a lift. Be the person that when people see you walking down the hall, they come towards rather than away from you. Your tendency to engage rather than enrage will set you apart from those with someone with a -me first mindset. You know how you feel when someone provides you with their full attention. The successful person is one who makes someone feel like they are the only person in the room. It speaks to a genuine care and consideration of someone else.

When someone sees you walk down the hall, are they coming towards you or finding an escape route? A lot has to do with how you do what you do. Check your body language and determine what it says about you! You have the ability to truly create a moment that will be memorable rather than miserable for someone else.