How you make feel you are wanted?

What would be the purpose of holding onto someone without that validation? I need little verbal affirmations now and again to boost my self esteem. Sometimes I even ask my spouse (terrible, I know) what my value is in our relationship. I think it's brought us together because we know specifically what we add to the relationship. I often struggle with self esteem/ self worth. A love language gift of words supercharges me. Even if my friendship wanes for awhile with no obvious rifts, I still need to know where I stand.

I start to question my importance and wonder where I went wrong if there's too long of an absence. If I am certain of your stability in my life and you give me no reason to question your loyalty, I am a happy woman. I think everyone yearns to be desired. Feeling wanted motivates me to give back and go above and beyond for the other person. No, it more like I need to feel wanted by myself. If I count on my partner to feel wanted I will never succeed any relationship, especially if your married Or having a long term serious monogamous relationship.

Like I mean I guess it's easier to feel wanted if your dating a lot and having different new fresh partners all the time, or if your in polygamous relationship, but probably maybe not socially accepted yet. But who cares if it makes someone happy. It's their choice. Anyway, you need to love yourself and celebrate being yourself everyday. I can guarantee you after that that everybody will want you. So others attention and needs doesn't really count. The most important is the relationship with yourself.

Although it’s common to feel despised in a relationship, some people actually like to feel good about themselves when involved with someone. If you are one of those rare individuals, you will also like to feel as though you are wanted. However, some people mistake want for need, while others simply prefer the power of being needed as that gives them some control as they dole out the dollars they are needed for! But many who feel they need to be wanted are sometimes pushing others who once wanted them away because their need to be wanted is too great.

There is a fine balance and is defined by it is good to be wanted by the person you are involved with, but you should not feel a need to be wanted either as that generally means you are not wanted at all. A relationship is a tricky thing, feeling needed is something that is individual feeling. Maybe feeling loved or wanted to be relaxed and be yourself in the relationship, maybe the right words. If you are not feeling like the other person is not in the relationship for companionship or a friendship. Think everything through.

Some people have hard time accepting they are wanted even when they are. So best to look inward to see if it's you or the other person that makes you feel unwanted. And secondly love yourself and others will want you more because they will be drawn to your confidence. If it is a passionate relationship like love or friendship, then 100% yes. I cannot be an asset or a piece of the puzzle, I need to be assured to be part of the big picture they see. Anything else is just acquaintance.

It's definitely not okay. If they don't want you…. Why are you in a relationship with them. If he/her isn't interested in you then honey boo boo they must be interested in someone/something else. Leave it altogether and go get someone else who actually who can treat you better. Or you can express your felling to him/her. Maybe the will start wanting you again, but if they have to start again.

When you two start talking less and argue more. Conversations become boring, sad and serious and you feel like you both don't share a laugh anymore. When your absence doesn't bother them and your presence frustrates them. When you think you're losing your self-respect. Don't confuse ego for self-respect here. When the other person continuously repeats things like “you deserve better”. I understand sometimes they want to hear cute responses to that but there's a limit. When you two start hurting each other without any logic whatsoever.

When you are not the first person to be on your partner’s mind. When your partner isn't completely over their past and isn't even willing to get over it. When you treat them like your priority but you are just another option to them. When your partner starts disrespecting you when they are in a good state of mind while hanging out with others. It's okay if you come to me when you're feeling low and it's fine if you don't include me in your happiness but at least don't disrespect me when you're happy while hanging out with others and I show concern like I always do.

When you both made mistakes and you both decided to move on and forget them but your partner keeps pointing out your mistakes time to time. When your partner isn't sure about wanting you in their life. They neither say it nor do their actions show it. When your partner’s actions start contradicting their words. When your partner starts making you feel unwanted and starts pushing you away. When your partner doesn't listen to what you feel and starts lecturing you for everything and won't let you complete. When you think you both would be a lot happier without being together. Cheers!