How are you?
I’ve been thinking about how people respond to the question, “How are you?”. Its a?super easy answer when you are smashing life....but not so easy when you aren't feeling tip top. Using the stock answer of “I’m fine thanks” (which is a total lie), shuts down any kind of honest connection, is disingenuous, isolating, perpetuates the practice of apathy?and most importantly, doesn’t help the person who is not okay one iota. ?
If we ALL pledge to?stop faking it, and bravely step towards feeling less alone on the bad days, then good things will come of it.?
Here are some positive alternatives to “I’m fine”, when you’re not feeling fine and you are talking to someone you trust:?
领英推荐
These answers, or a variation to suit your own style, create a pathway to someone listening more intently to how you REALLY are. ?You never know, it also might encourage others to share how THEY really are too.
If you're not ready to talk, or you think someone is just being polite try this: “It's been one of those days – looking forward to getting to the gym/the bar/home. Shall we get this meeting started?”. It's much more honest than the "I'm fine" lie, but vague enough to move on without exposing your soft underbelly.?
?What do you think? Worth a try?
Innovation Lead at A.P. Moller - Maersk
1 年So well said Em. Without the rough days you wouldn't get the great ones.... Me and a colleague were just discussing this today and laughing that everyone always says I'm fine because we know people are just being polite.
Service Delivery Manager | Customer Success Manager | Technical Account Manager | Incident, Problem, Change and CSI Manager
1 年I have said all of these in my own words recently, good boost to know I'm always getting better at being honest without off loading! We all need to be more honest without adding to others load. It actually helps to know we all go through the same stuff now and then. The crazy days helps us appreciate the calm days... so we need them somewhat but we also need a little support on those days. Good to share.
I love this Em Eldred I'm guilty of saying "I'm fine" too! But your suggestions are brilliant and help to open up a conversation thank you ??
Strategic HR Generalist | People Experience | Wellbeing | MCIPD
1 年Love this, we talk about the importance of asking, and asking twice but we never talk about what someone can say if they’re not ok. I’m guilty of saying I’m fine when I’m not, mainly out of habit. But when I do open up I always feel better for having talked about it. Thank you for sharing ??
Great insight Emma. I think your right and so often we automatically shrug of the question with the stock answer without really answering it.